


Old Wounds

by Sarah Problem (SarahProblem)



Series: Come With Me [10]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Discussion of past pregnancy loss, Episode: s02e24 The Ultimate Computer, Established Relationship, M/M, Married Couple, Past Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 22:24:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 43,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12118482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahProblem/pseuds/Sarah%20Problem
Summary: Finally, back on Earth after the Grimm incident, Jim, McCoy and the rest of the Enterprise are thrown head first into another assignment.Barely able to catch their breaths, McCoy is faced with the opening of some old wounds, and Jim is faced with a future that may have no place for him.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Old Wounds

By Sarah Problem

 

 

***

One week _before_ John Grimm awakens, Jim and Bones finally return to Earth, the Enterprise and the mess left over from John Grimm's story.

***

 

 

 

Captain James T. Kirk took a huge breath of dry dock air as he got off the shuttle, happy to be so close to home. He stepped back out of traffic to wait for McCoy, who'd gotten separated from him in the crush of exiting passengers.

_Now, after we grab our stuff, and get down to Earth for our debriefings, we can concentrate on getting the Enterprise up and running again._

The trip from Deneva to Earth had gone quickly. John had been in a coma on New Vulcan for several weeks when it was decided he could safely be moved to Deneva. They'd talked to David McCoy to see if he was willing to host the comatose patient, and he'd agreed. It wasn't until they'd actually arrived that they told David the truth about who John was. Well, most of the truth. They skipped a lot of the details, needing to keep David in the dark for safety reasons. So, David knew who John was, but not how John happened to live long enough to meet any of his descendants. David had been more than a bit dubious at first. But when he saw John in the life-support bio-bed, looking so much like his son, he had quit asking questions and jumped into the challenge of being John's physician.

When Jim and McCoy had finally been able to start home, both had been faced with several weeks of mail, messages and contact requests to deal with. They'd tried to handle as much of it as they could on the trip by civilian transport. Apparently, when the arrest warrant for McCoy had hit the Starfleet channels, many of the crew had cut short vacations and family visits to contact the ship in a panic. But no one on the ship had had any information to share. The retraction that Boyce had promised had helped calm things down, but it still left both men with hundreds of frantic messages built up over weeks to deal with.

For both Jim and McCoy, they had felt humbled to know just how much the crew cared about them. So many of the messages offered unconditional help and support, for _anything_ that the two needed. All sent knowing that Starfleet Command could have read those messages, and taken them as offer of help for a wanted fugitive and his husband. Jim knew that that kind of loyalty from a crew was something rare and valuable. He hoped he could be worthy of that kind of trust in the future.

If, for some reason, Starfleet didn't decide to take Command away from him again. When it came to politics, Jim knew that anything could happen at their debriefings.

McCoy was finally able to exit the shuttle, and jogged a bit to catch up with Jim. They had only one small bag each with extra clothing they'd been able to collect here and there, so had been able to travel light.

"When's your meeting with Admiral Roberts again?" McCoy asked, slipping his comm into his pocket as he caught up with Jim. "They want me at Starfleet Medical in about four hours."

"Same here." Jim made a beeline to the nearest entry plank that connected the dry dock with the Enterprise. "We'll just have enough time to check in, grab our dress blues and hit the transporter to Earth. We're under orders, so at least we'll be able to cut the line for beam down."

"Small favors, I guess," McCoy said grumpily. "Hours of questions we can't answer. From people who should know better than to try to wheedle it out of us."

"Better than having to decide ourselves what to tell them," Jim said seriously. "We just don't tell them anything. Makes it a lot simpler."

_I still don't know what we would have told them all if Admiral Boyce hadn't stepped in. Especially when it came to having Bones' warrant canceled._

It wasn't something they'd discussed between them much. Jim still wasn't sure how much, if any, of the whole story they could trust with anyone in Starfleet Command. Having Admiral Boyce step in to protect both Jim and McCoy from any charges in the incident had been a godsend. Now, the whole ordeal was classified under the Surgeon General's Department, and they had _official_ orders not to answer any questions. Even so, Jim had no illusions that their 'debriefings' would be brief. There was nothing most of the Admiralty hated worse than to be kept out of a loop. But no matter how it all turned out, Jim couldn't say he'd have done anything any differently.

As they walked swiftly down the hall, Jim caught sight of Spock waiting for them at the entrance to the tunnel that connected to the ship. Spock saw them and turned to them as they walked up.

"Captain. Doctor," Spock said with a nod as they approached. "Welcome home."

"Thanks, Spock." Jim smiled at his First Officer.

Spock had been the first person Jim had contacted on the way home. Spock had been on Earth with Uhura, visiting her relatives, when the warrant for McCoy's arrest had hit Starfleet channels. Scotty had actually been in command of the ship during its refit and had tried to contact Jim and McCoy himself. When that failed, he'd called Spock. He and Uhura had high-tailed it back to the Enterprise, arriving just after Scotty had had to let Starfleet Military Security in. Military Security, looking for McCoy and Jim, had had a warrant to search their cabin, and they had and taken over the computers in the Enterprise's Ready Room, looking for clues to their whereabouts. Jim knew the First Officer and the Communications Officer had spent the next few weeks trying to trace Jim and McCoy on their own, but outside the security channels. Jim had never wanted to pull any of his people into their uncertain situation, but he'd been touched that they'd tried. Once he'd spoken to Spock, he and Uhura had been able to spread the word among crew that Jim and McCoy were fine, they had actually been on an assignment, and they were on their way home.

"Glad to be back," Jim said as he passed Spock and headed into the ship. Spock followed them. "But Bones and I have to grab our uniforms and head back to Earth. We've got debriefings in a few hours."

"I understand, Captain. None the less, it is good that you have returned."

Once they entered the Enterprise itself, Jim saw Uhura standing over to the side. She rushed over and gave a startled McCoy a hug. McCoy dropped his small bag and hugged her back.

"I'm _so_ glad you're back safe," Uhura said earnestly, releasing McCoy so she could look him in the eyes. "Don't you _ever_ get a warrant issued for your arrest again! It freaked me out."

"Freaked us both out, to be truthful," McCoy admitted with an embarrassed smile. "I'll try not to get Security after me again. But no promises."

"Oh, he was never in any _real_ hot water," Jim said with a smile. "He was with _me_ the whole time."

"And we all know _you_ never get into trouble," Uhura said with a chuckle. She tilted her head and raised her arms, asking for permission. Jim grinned and held out his arms. She came over to give him a hug as well. "Welcome home, Captain."

"Wonderful to be back." He released her, then sighed. "But like I told Spock, we need to grab some stuff, check out the mail packets in the Ready Room and head to Earth."

"And I have to check into the MedBay," McCoy reminded him. "No telling what kind of hell that place is by now."

"I think Scotty's waiting in your quarters," Uhura said, stepping out of their way. "I'll get your communications sent to the Ready Room for you, Captain."

"Carry on, Lieutenant," Jim said nodded as he started back down the familiar hallway. "I'll be there in a bit."

Uhura threw Spock a look before she left, making Jim wonder what that was about. Then the three of them walked out into the ships main hallway and Jim was surprised at how many crewmen had found the time to come and welcome them home. The hallways to their quarters were full of crew who'd somehow found a reason to be there. They all stopped as Jim and McCoy passed and called out to McCoy, welcoming him home and saying how glad they were to see him well.

McCoy looked a bit shell shocked and embarrassed, giving those who welcomed him home a nod and a shy smile.

_He should have known how word would get around about the arrest warrant. They all know the charges and codes as well as we do. They were all worried about him and wanted him to know how glad they are that he's okay. I don't think he really realizes how much they appreciate him. They know he cares and would give his life to save theirs. And not just because he's a doctor or their crewmate, but because they're his people just as much as they are mine._

Jim spotted Scotty standing by their quarter's door, looking unhappy and sheepish. As they got to the door and the other crew members continued on to their jobs, Scotty stepped up to them.

"I _tried_ to stop them, Captain," Scotty said with anguish. "But they had the right orders and I dinnae'--"

Jim held up a hand. "It's _fine_ , Scotty. Like I said in my note, you did the right thing. Nothing good would have come out of making a fuss and trying to deny them entry. There wasn't anything for them to find anyway."

"I did have Sulu come and see to your wee bairn', Doctor," Scotty said apologetically to McCoy.

"What? What did they do to my plant?" McCoy asked worriedly, then punched in their code to the door, anxious to get in.

"They just took it out of its terrarium," Scotty said behind him, frowning. "I stayed and oversaw the search. I wouldn't let them hurt the poor thing by digging into it. I was afraid they were going to take it away, but they just scanned it and the terrarium, then set them both aside. After they left, I had Sulu take it to the botany lab for safe keeping."

" _Thanks_ , Scotty." Jim patted Scotty's shoulder as he strode into their quarters behind McCoy. Inside, it looked like all their drawers and shelves had exploded.

"What the fucking _hell_?" McCoy explained, looking around at the mess. "I know they searched, but damn it, it looks like they went out of their way to screw with us."

_Yes, it does,_ Jim thought sourly, looking around. Every surface was covered in items tossed here and there. Even their items from their 'fresher were strewn around. _There's no excuse for this kind of a mess. I've seen Security do a search before and they can be thorough, quick and neat when they want to. This looks like someone was in a panic. I'm definitely mentioning this to Admiral Roberts when I see her!_

Scotty looked crestfallen.

"Thanks for saving my plant, Scotty, " McCoy said with a sigh, standing in the middle of the mess, hands on hips. "If those assholes had hurt my bonzai, I'd have had to hunt them down and surgically give them another asshole."

"Least I could do," Scotty said. "I didn't know if I should have housekeeping clean it all up, or if you'd want to see what they got into."

"We appreciate it, Scotty and you were right. I needed to see this, so I can make a clear complaint." Jim turned to Scotty and Spock. "Spock, why don't you get to the Ready Room and triage all the information I need to get to first. Scotty, you get back to what you need to be doing to get this ship out on time. McCoy and I need to dig through all this and get our uniforms and pack for a few days on Earth. I have to warn both of you that I don't know how long we'll be down there. I know we've got a lot to catch up on when we get back, but I'll leave it to you two to make sure I get to the important stuff first."

"Aye, Sir," Scotty said. He nodded and stepped to the door. "You'll have my reports ready in your Ready Room."

Once he left, Spock turned to both Jim and McCoy. "Captain, Doctor, are you sure that you are both all right?"

"We're fine, Spock. Really, we are," McCoy replied. He bent over and started picking up some of the clothing that had been dumped on the floor. Jim started in as well.

"Bones and I were on a mission," Jim said, glancing at McCoy. He hated this part but didn't want to go against Boyce or involved Spock in any of it. "The warrant was just something that happened in the normal course of events. It's all taken care of now."

"I did see the retraction, and made sure that the crew knew about it as well," Spock said.

"You gossiped, you mean?" McCoy said with a smile, heading for their bed with an armful of clothing. "Imagine that, a gossiping Vulcan."

"I informed those of the crew who would see to it that the information would be shared. It is, after all, important to have the crew's full attention on their tasks and not the felonious dealings of their Chief Medical Officer," Spock said, an eyebrow lifting as if challenging McCoy to argue with him. "That is _not_ gossip."

"Thanks, again, Spock," Jim said before McCoy could reply. As much as he enjoyed their arguing, they really didn't have the time. He threw part of both his and McCoy's uniforms in the sonic cleaner and put it on a quick cycle, so they would be fit to wear down to the planet. "Bones, you grab your case and mine, and we'll just throw in what we can find."

"I will be in the Ready Room," Spock said. "But I do have some information that Uhura thought might be of importance before you leave for Starfleet Headquarters, Captain."

"What's that?" Jim asked as he started stuffing his own case with clothing. McCoy was now doing the same.

"It seems that the warrant for Doctor McCoy's arrest was leaked to the Terran based news-feeds. Uhura could not pin down the first mention of it in the news-feeds because several them came online with the story simultaneously."

"Wait, you mean that that stupid warrant is now _public_ knowledge?" McCoy stopped to stare at Spock in disbelief. "How long ago?"

"About four days ago."

"And the retraction?" Jim asked.

"Starfleet has not made any comment on the subject," Spock replied.

"So, everyone down there still thinks Starfleet is after my head?" McCoy asked angrily.

"I would assume so," Spock replied.

"Shit. Better contact your dad," Jim said to McCoy. "He hears that on the feeds, he'll worry himself sick. He can call Sam and Aurelan and make sure they know as well."

"I'll get to my office and have Uhura see if she can patch me in from there, while I change. The comm's better in there." McCoy grabbed his case and took his Blues out of the cleaner and left for MedBay.

"Damn it!" Jim said throwing the last of his clothing into his bag and tossing both his and McCoy's extra 'fresher items into his bag. They could sort them out later. "It's bad enough that Starfleet thought he was wanted on charges. Now the public does and no denial from Starfleet? We're going to have the news-feeds after us like ants on picnic leftovers."

"There is one other thing, Uhura thought you should know."

_There always is,_ Jim thought tiredly. "What now?"

"Uhura says to warn you that the news-feeds have now discovered that you are married and to whom. It has, apparently, put them into a 'feeding frenzy,'" Spock said, obviously using Nyota's words. "She thought you should know before you arrive on Earth."

"She's right," Jim said. "Good to know before I get ambushed. You head on to the Ready Room, and I'll finish up here. We need to get down to Earth and see about getting this all squared away."

"Yes, Sir."

As the door closed behind Spock, Jim went into overdrive to finish packing not only his own stuff but what he thought McCoy would need as well. Then he'd make a run to the Ready Room to handle what business had to be handled now and then make one last run to their quarters to put on his Blues before they had to leave for Starfleet Headquarters and Starfleet Medical. They weren't even going to get to be debriefed together.

_Next time I'm bored as a Captain, I'll have to remember how much I miss it when all hell is breaking loose. Boring is good._

 

***

 

Four hours later, spiffed up in his dress blues and cap under his arm, Jim wore his most respectful expression as he stood in front of the door to Admiral Roberts' office. A few minutes early, Jim was waiting until the admiral's secretary would signal that the Admiral was ready for their meeting. He chose to stand while he waited, hoping to burn off a little of his anxiety. It had been a close shave, to get their things together, get to Earth and checked into a hotel before they were both due in meetings. Since they didn't know how long they'd be on Earth for debriefings, sometimes they took days, they'd decided not to take the chance of having time to shuttle back and forth from the ship. Accommodations around Starfleet headquarters itself were usually fully booked in advance, so they'd taken rooms a few klicks away from where they needed to be. Which had cut into their travel time.

Jim had been working with Admiral Roberts ever since Captain Pike's death. She was now his Commanding Officer and handled the Enterprise's assignments. Jim reported to her as he had to Pike. A tall, thin, women with short, tight white curls and dark skin, Admiral Roberts had a gaze that was as penetrating as any Vulcan's. Pike had considered her a friend and had seemed to work well with her, but Jim had not been introduced to her before Pike's death.

As the Captain of the USS Aurora for almost twelve years, Jim knew Roberts had earned her promotion by hard, honest and careful work. She got her tasks done quickly, efficiently and with little loss of life. Jim had admired her record. She'd earned her rank and the respect that came with it. It also meant she'd be able to see through any type of evasion or double talk Jim might want to present her with. She, like Pike, had a nose for bullshit honed by working out in the black. If she had taken any of the Surgeon General's report as an insult to her authority as Jim's Commanding Officer, he'd find out today.

_She could have taken a lot of flak from the Admiralty when Bones and I disappeared and were gone for so long. The Admiralty would have been hounding her as to where I was and what was going on with Bones and that arrest warrant. Not many want to take out their displeasure on Admiral Boyce, now that we're back. Not to his face, anyway. And I know she wasn't all that happy about inheriting me as her problem when Pike died and I got the Enterprise back._

Jim hadn't had to report into Admiral Roberts' office in person many times in the past couple of years. After once bringing up the subject of his relationship with his CMO, after Jim had filed the report on their cohabitating, she'd left it alone. She'd also never mentioned the amount of time he'd spent at McCoy's bedside during the time he almost died after their Babel assignment. Roberts had expressed no concern over it and nothing more than the merest congratulations when his marriage records from Deneva hit his personal files. She either thought he could handle his personal life and keep it out of his work, or she was giving him enough rope to hang their careers with it. Either way, Jim had been glad he didn't constantly have to defend his relationship to her.

_She may be harsh at times, but she's fair, I have to give her that. And she doesn't micromanage or hold unrealistic expectations. So far, she hasn't demanded anything from the Enterprise that the ship and crew weren't fully equipped to give. Nor has she spent a long time second-guessing my decisions. That must come from her being in that Captain's chair for all those years._

_She may not be invested in me like Pike was, but she takes her responsibility to the Enterprise seriously. If she didn't think I was a good enough Captain for her, I have no doubt she'd make the moves to pull me out._

_I just hope that isn't why I'm here today, so she can sack me in person._

"The Admiral is ready for you now," the secretary said with a polite nod at the office door.

Jim nodded in return and almost stopped up short as he entered.

Admiral Roberts was at her desk, with Admiral Oberts, Head of Starfleet Security standing beside her desk.

_Head of Security here as well? This doesn't look good._

Jim caught himself and strode in, pretending that Admiral Oberts' presence wasn't a complete surprise.

"Sit, Captain," Roberts said, waving her hand gracefully toward the two seats in front of her desk. "Before we have our own meeting, Head of Security, Admiral Oberts wanted to have a word with you." She smiled slightly Oberts' way, but it held no amusement. "He wanted to arrange a private meeting with you, as soon as you arrived. I assured him that _if_ there were any of his questions you were able to answer, we all could save time by having us both here to hear them. Kill two birds with one stone, as they say."

Jim didn't miss the angry glance Oberts sent Roberts. She didn't seem to notice or care.

Jim sat on the edge of his chair, cap on his lap. He kept his face neutral.

"Please feel free, Admiral," Roberts said graciously to Oberts. "I know you have many things to attend to, so best we begin."

Oberts nodded, then turned to Kirk with a glare. "Welcome back, Captain. I hope your little vacation went well," he said gruffly.

"Thank you, Sir," Jim said neutrally, keeping his eyes on the wall behind Robert's desk.

"Just where have you been, Kirk?"

"Sir. I cannot say, Sir. The Surgeon General has requested that all questions be routed through his office."

"Just when did the Surgeon General contact you about this... assignment?"

"I cannot say, Sir. The Surgeon General has requested that all questions be routed through his office."

"And what exactly happened to the stolen items, Kirk?"

"I cannot say, Sir. The Surgeon General has requested that all questions be routed through his office."

Oberts was growing angrier by the moment. "Can't say, or won't?"

"I couldn't say, Sir."

From the corner of his eye, Jim could see Oberts' jaw work as if he were grinding his teeth. He could see the second Oberts decided to try a different track when he took a breath and then purposefully relaxed his shoulders.

"You know, I'd rather work with you, than against you, _Captain_. While you still have some rank to protect yourself. Unlike your husband," Oberts said, almost kindly. "He doesn't have the same protection of rank that you do, you know. And one day the Surgeon General won't be there to protect his favorites. Don't you think you should be thinking of _his_ future, _Captain_?"

"I have nothing to say on the matter, Sir," Jim said casually.

"Nothing at all, Kirk?"

"No, Sir." Jim kept his eyes ahead.

"Really?" Oberts took a few steps toward Kirk. Jim knew Oberts wanted to see if he'd flinch.

"Your husband was implicated in a case of theft against a Starfleet facility, one that could put him up on charges of treason and you have _nothing_ to say?"

"No, Sir."

_Not to that harmless threat, I don't. If you could have charged either of us with anything, you would have. Just to have a reason to take us in and push us to tell you what you wanted. You don't even have enough to insist on my coming to your office alone. And Admiral Roberts has let you know that, to your face._

Oberts moved just one step too close and leaned over, putting himself into Kirk's personal space. His voice was low. "You know, don't you, that someone out there knows _where_ you were and _who_ you were with. And that we can find out, eventually."

Jim stayed silent.

"And when we do," Oberts voice dropped to a whisper, "we'll have you _both_ up on charges. Separately. Then you can forget about ever seeing your husband again."

Jim didn't answer; he just kept his eyes on the wall.

"And we'll find _him_ , you know," Oberts said in a whisper. "We know you're hiding him."

"Find who, Sir?" Jim said, blinking, holding a look of innocence and confusion on his face.

_He's fishing. He doesn't know squat. I've had traffic cops more threatening than this. Didn't work on me then, won't work now._

"Admiral," Roberts said, a touch of amusement in her voice. "Unless you're threatening to torture him with Andorian focus-rings, which will never happen in my office, I doubt you'll move Kirk into talking against orders. If he _would_ talk, then all that training he's gotten at the Academy on how to survive torture would have been a horrible waste, wouldn't it?"

Jim tried not to smile at Oberts' look of disgust he threw at Roberts.

"I _will_ see you later, Kirk," Admiral Oberts said as he stormed out of Roberts' office.

There was a moment of silence after the office door slid shut behind him.

"He's a fool, wasting our time," Admiral Roberts said with a sigh. "All to try to impress us with his big balls. As if we both haven't seen, if not carry, bigger," she said with a snort.

Jim tried not to snicker, but he did smile a little.

"Make no mistake, Captain," Roberts said narrowing her eyes at Jim. "There _is_ something going on behind the scenes with him. He had to know that you would say nothing about your work for the Surgeon General. I suspect he was here more to intimidate me, rather than you. He failed in that as well. But do not think that he's without power. Politics is a force that is wielded like a club even here, Kirk. Starfleet may be a family, but even the most loyal families have bullies and tyrants among their midst. Remember that, especially if you live long enough to earn the rank of Admiral."

"Yes, Sir."

Roberts shook her head as she punched up something on her desk screen that Jim couldn't see. "Which is why I will not waste time by asking such foolish questions. I'm sure if I need to know something about your missing time, Admiral Boyce will fill me in. I've called you here for my own questions and to discuss the Enterprise's next assignment. Your orders have changed since you left on your assignment for the Surgeon General."

"Yes, Sir."

She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, as graceful as a woman born to rule. "First, are you and McCoy ready to get back to work?"

She watched him closely.

"Yes, Sir. We are." Jim nodded. "I could use a few days to catch up before we have to leave dry dock. But I've had travel time to rest and try to catch up on any non-secure work that I could get transferred to me, en route. Doctor McCoy hasn't checked in with me yet from his debriefings, but I don't see any reason at this point that he won't be ready to get back to work as well."

"No arguments or conflicts between you, while working? No power struggles between your job as Captain and his as CMO?"

"No, Sir," Jim said with conviction, having prepared himself for those types of questions. "Doctor McCoy and I make a good, working team. We both know our jobs, Sir."

Roberts' mouth turned up in the corner with a small smile. Her eyes were more expressive, showing her amusement. "So, he does not argue with you on going on away trips, or landing parties? Nor does he scold you for getting hurt, or not listening to his advice? You do not argue with him about his being... overprotective? He is not always in your way, with a hypo or another endless test, wanting to drag you down to MedBay? And you do not get short tempered and he not get frustrated? Do you not sometimes... have rough words?"

Those questions he hadn't been prepared for. _More ship gossip than I thought there was?_

Jim decided he needed to be truthful, since he didn't know what, or who, her sources were. "Well... Sir, we _have_ argued in the past, about just those things, it's true. But we--"

Roberts waved his explanation away. "Now, _that_ is an _honest_ answer. I would have been concerned if you'd lied about that. Since this is both your and McCoy's first experience in those positions, I will let you in on a little secret that took me a few changes of command and CMO to realize."

She chuckled softly and leaned back in her chair. "Such is sometimes the way in a good, working relationship between a Captain and his CMO. Unless he or she is a Vulcan, a CMO doing their job will usually be the... overly protective mother hen to a busy Captain. And dedicated Captains rarely worry about themselves or their health, which frustrates the CMOs no end. I have lived this myself. As Captain of the Aurora for twelve years, I drove two CMO's into such fits of angry complaint that I could have had them up on charges for their tone, if not their words, if I had wished it so. And I, myself, have had some overly harsh words about their hovering. But they were good crewmen and very _good_ Doctors. I valued them both. All was forgiven in the end and I still value their friendships today. I do not know if your relationship will magnify this trend. Or not. Just be aware that for you two to butt heads on occasion can be normal. Do not take it as a fault in your marriage during those exchanges. And that advice, Captain, is from someone who has been married for almost 35 years and wishes you both well."

Jim nodded, feeling relieved at the friendly advice. "Thank you, Sir," he said with feeling.

She tilted her head in acknowledgment and looked back down at her desk screen. "Now, let us get to your next assignment, which I do not see you thanking me for. Not that that will make any difference, of course."

Jim tried not to tense up. If Admiral Roberts said that he wouldn't like it, that was probably an understatement.

"Have you heard of a man named Jason Tippet?" She asked, not looking up from her desk screen.

"Uh... Isn't he the multi-billionaire owner of TippSum, one of the top ten computer industries in the Federation?"

"One of the top three, depending on your criteria and who you talk to," Roberts said as she read something on her screen. "We do a lot of research and development at Starfleet and use our own designs and systems when it comes to technology. And you could say that TippSum considers us a negligible customer base since we're obliged to use our own resources when available and practical. We don't use third-party hardware or software if we don't have to. But there are times when a civilian corporation and Starfleet may team up when there is a practical advantage to both. And we have one such case here. Jason Tippet himself has been hard-selling a new computer concept for space warfare that he would like tested on a very large scale. It happens to parallel some research our own people have made some inroads on. So, the Office of the Admiralty has decided we will test out his new system. And since it is here and handy at the moment, the Enterprise has been selected as the Starship that will test it out."

Roberts picked up a PADD from the corner of her desk and with a flick of her hand waved the information on her desk screen to the PADD's memory. She handed it to Jim, looking grim. "The Enterprise has been volunteered for this mission. Without my input, if you must know. Your chief Engineer is getting the spec orders now, along with the delivery of the equipment. It will take four days for the TippSum team to install the equipment, so the Enterprise's schedule to leave dry dock will only be delayed by a few days."

_Someone else install equipment on the Enterprise? Let alone surprise equipment? Scotty's going to have a fit. Damn._

"We've already got a long list of new equipment and software patches to test, just from our dry dock upgrade," Jim said with concern, looking at the specs of a computer system on his PADD. "And how will we be testing this equipment? What is so revolutionary about it?"

"It was decided that a shake-down on the upgrade was a good time to test the new system as well. Any incompatibilities with your upgrade and the TippSum system would be the first thing both the Federation and TippSum will be looking for. As for the testing, once outfitted the Enterprise will proceed to Starbase 6 where the majority of your crew will disembark. The Enterprise will then join the war games headed by Commodore Wesley. He will be the commanding Flag-officer of the battle force at the command of the USS Lexington. "

"Disembark?" Jim asked in surprise. "How many crewmen?"

"You will be left with a crew of twenty. Your orders detail which members will need to be aboard during the test."

Jim was stunned. " _Twenty_? Admiral, you can't seriously expect--"

"That's the _point_ of the experiment," she added quickly. "You are to test the highly advanced prototype system developed by TippSum, called the M-Five. It is a system being worked on by Doctor Richard Daystrom."

"Daystrom? _The_ Richard Daystrom?"

Every Academy cadet knew that name as did most of the civilian population. Richard Daystrom was a kid genius, who earned the Nobel and Zee-Magness Prizes with his deutronic breakthrough at the ripe old age of twenty-four. In the twenty-five years since then, he'd come out with various new devices and breakthroughs that almost, but not quite, rivaled his first. There was even a Daystrom award that Jim had put Chekov in for. The man was said to be a talent the whole of the Federation owed much to.

"The one and only," Roberts admitted. "While brilliant, he does need capital to finance his experiments. Experiments which Starfleet is not always interested in. I hear he does not like to have his work questioned, nor follow the structure that Starfleet insists upon. So, he has currently found a patron in TippSum and Joshua Tippet himself."

"But, Sir, just exactly what is it that we'll be testing?"

"He has developed a revolutionary tactical computer called the M-Five multitronic unit. The computer is designed to handle all ships functions in combat, cutting down on the response time of a human crew and Captain."

"You mean, not just aiding the crew, but replacing them entirely?"

"Yes," Roberts said with a frown. "Except for the skeleton crew, which is only there to aid the M-Five. It would be difficult for any machine to fix itself if damaged in an attack."

_Like the Vengeance could be flown with one man, as Kahn proved? Is that the direction Starfleet is heading? Souless ships that follow a prescribed plan, not able to improvise in an attack?_

As much as Jim hated the thought of the Enterprise being turned into something like the Vengeance, he knew that all the arguing in the world wouldn't stop it happening. It would only get him reprimanded. As much as he felt that the Enterprise was his, it really wasn't.

_I guess it's best we know what it can do. Before someone else designs something like it. Daystrom may be a genius, but there are others out there who may come up with the same ideas._

Roberts continued. "You can read the specs and the test parameters while the equipment is being installed, Captain. I'm sure your Engineer will have much to discuss with you."

_Yeah, no shit._

"I am sending a copy to your First Officer. I assume he will have questions and can send his queries to my office. But there is also the business of playing nice with Jason Tippet. He and an assistant will be accompanying Daystrom on the Enterprise while the experiments take place. Mr. Tippet was very firm about his presence during the testing phase. You will be expected to make all suitable accommodations for Mr. Tippet and his associate aboard the Enterprise. And, tonight, you will also attend the dinner and party to 'get acquainted' tonight, at 18:00 hours at Starfleet Headquarters. It is, of course, a Dress Blues occasion. My aide will send a car to pick you up at your hotel. You are allowed a 'plus one,' so your husband is welcome to join you if he is free. And please do not be late, Captain. Jason Tippet has expressed an extreme desire to meet you."

_Four hours to get around and see if Bones can make it. Maybe cutting it close._

She smirked at Jim. "You have apparently generated a great deal of interest, Captain, now that the news-feeds have caught on to the fact that their favorite celebrity has actually been married for over four and a half months. And a warrant issued inside of Starfleet itself for McCoy's arrest has sent them into overdrive, I'm afraid. I take it this has caught them by surprise, and they have all seemed to enjoy having this new tidbit about you to indulge their audience's curiosity. Along with their profits, I'm sure."

"So, I've been warned, Sir," Jim said with annoyance.

"Security will be looking into that leak," She promised. "Since your marriage on Deneva is in the public record, it was not unexpected they would run across it, in time. But the warrant is another matter entirely. That should _never_ have happened." Roberts shook her head with annoyance, and she clicked off the data screen on her desk. "I do expect that you and McCoy will be hounded while you are in public, with the news-feeds wanting to know everything about you. The major news organizations have all been in constant contact with Starfleet's Public Relations Department about the subjects. The PR department, of course, has not commented on your private lives. But they have just now assured the major news-feeds that the warrant was issued in error and retracted. Which, of course, is an embarrassment to the Admiralty. And while you obviously can't discuss that bit of explosive information with the news-feeds, I do expect you and your husband will need to discuss just how private you want to be about your personal lives. Outside of your careers in Starfleet, of course."

"I don't expect to talk to them at all," Jim said decisively.

Roberts leaned back and nodded. "That is your choice to make, of course. Now, I think you and I will need the next few hours to prepare ourselves to meet Mr. Tippet." She smiled. "I have never met a billionaire before. Maybe it will be entertaining. Just be on your best behavior, Captain. You represent Starfleet tonight, no matter what your thoughts are about this experiment of theirs."

Jim recognized the dismissal and stood, "I will endeavor to be at my best, Sir."

He took his leave, taking the PADD with his new orders with him. Outside of Roberts' office, her secretary smiled at him. "We'll have a car ready to pick you up at your hotel about forty-five minutes before the start of your dinner. Do you need anything else?"

"No. Thanks," Jim replied, then turned to make his way out of the building and down to a taxi. He pulled his comm out of his pocket and typed in McCoy's code.

_What I really need is a quick nap I don't have time for, and a quick call to Bones. I hope he'll be out of his own meetings by then._

_If I have to suffer playing kiss-ass to a billionaire all evening, I'd rather he was there with me._

_Misery loves company, after all._

 

***

 

Doctor Leonard McCoy felt like a thief as he made his way through the secluded entrance of the hotel and through the back corridors to his room. Jim had warned him that there was a large group of journalists at the front of the hotel, waiting for either of them to arrive. He palmed the door lock and slid inside as it opened. The room was dark, with the data screen over the desk throwing flickering light over the standard hotel room, filling it with the muted sound of six different channels of news. Jim was at the window, in his underwear, looking down at the entrance four floors below. He turned and gave McCoy a crooked smile.

"Given' the masses a flash?" McCoy asked as he came over to Jim, giving him a kiss. The windows were tinted with a one-way film. So, it wasn't like Jim was actually giving anyone a show.

"Think I'd make the breaking news?" Jim asked as he turned back to the window.

"If you mooned them, for sure." McCoy tossed his cap on the bed. "They'd love you forever if you gave them a nude shot. Want to open the window and hang your naked ass out?"

Jim laughed. "Damn, but that's tempting."

"When's the car coming?"

"About forty minutes now. You have time for a shower, and I can run your blues through the sonic cleaner."

"Thanks," McCoy said with a sigh as he peeled off his uniform, then headed toward the 'fresher and a hot shower. "Just wish I didn't have to get back into them. How did your meeting with Admiral Roberts go? And what is this big dinner thing we're going to?"

"The meeting with Roberts went pretty well, actually, if you don't figure in my finding Admiral Oberts already there and waiting for me in her office."

"Didn't he read Boyce's orders about leaving us alone?" McCoy asked. He stepped into the shower as Jim followed him into the 'fresher.

"Roberts ran interference for me. So, Oberts didn't get the one-on-one he wanted." Jim's voice came over the sound of the hot water that made McCoy moan in pleasure. "Roberts thinks he was trying to push his weight around some. You know how the Admiralty lives on politics. But Roberts seems cool. She didn't press me about our absence, and she actually seems okay with our relationship. But we've got a new assignment I don't care for."

"Won't be the last one like that, I'm sure." McCoy soaped up, wishing he had the time to make it a lot more fun by adding a naked Jim Kirk to the mix. "Is that what tonight's about?"

"We're going to run a test for TippSum, that means meeting the owner and making nice."

Surprised, McCoy glanced around the shower door. "The billionaire, Tippet? The Computer company?"

"The same. And get this, Robert Daystrom may be there."

"That--?"

"Yeah. We'll be testing a Daystrom project."

_Wow. That's a whole lot of credits and brains in one place! Now I'll be afraid to eat. I'll probably spill something and look stupid. And that's got to be some sort of big deal, to have the Enterprise test out something that Daystrom's invented. So, why does Jim look so unsettled about it?_

McCoy finished his shower, glad that he'd used a beard suppressant that would cover him for a few days and looked himself over. He ran a hand through his hair. "Damn, should have gotten a trim."

"You're fine," Jim said with a small smile as he came into the 'fresher, still in just his underwear. Jim raised his hands and dug his fingers into McCoy's wet hair and tousled it even more. "Makes you look evil and sexy."

"Not completely regulation, though."

"Neither of us is that," Jim said with a weak smile. "Your uniform will be done in a couple of minutes. We're right on time for a night of fun and... well probably no fun, but we get food. Maybe dancing. I guess we have to put in our time at grown-up parties once in a while."

The quiet, introspective look on Jim's face made McCoy uneasy. "Jim? What's wrong?"

Jim sighed, then stepped closer and wrapped his arms around McCoy's waist, which was still damp from the shower. McCoy lifted his arms around Jim's neck, watching his face.

"I'm just worried about this test coming up," Jim said with a shrug. "I don't like the idea of them making the Enterprise like the Vengeance. A war machine, with no real input from its crew. It just feels... wrong."

McCoy frowned. "How're they doing that?"

"By installing a new computer system that will allow the computer to run the ship during an attack or conflict, with only a crew of twenty. And that crew is just there to service the computer. It will make attack plans, follow through, take the shots, move the ship. All of it."

_Well, that sounds ominous. I notice he didn't mention it trying to negotiate to avoid a fight, or pick up and care for survivors, let alone 'think outside the box.' A computer making life and death decisions? When has that ever worked out? I can see why he's unsettled about that alone. And he's always a bit frustrated when he's reminded that although it's his ship, it's not_ his _ship. He doesn't get much of a say on where it goes, or what we get assigned. And when he does get the power to make those decisions, it'll be for other people's ships._

He pulled Jim in for a hug. "You'll get us through it. You always do."

Jim gave McCoy a quick squeeze and pulled back. "An assignment is an assignment. I know everyone will do their best. I'm just not sure I'm ready for a future where we give up all the decision making to a machine."

"You and me both," McCoy admitted. "You know it's a scary proposition when even the Vulcan's aren't going that route."

A soft ding came from the other room. His suit was ready. "Better get dressed," McCoy said looking down. "And now your underwear is damp. Too bad we don't have enough time for me to get you properly wet and naked."

"In that order?" Jim smiled and laughed. "Something to look forward at the end of this long night. You have more meetings tomorrow?"

"No, I've been grilled enough, apparently. Boyce's roadblocks are working but damned if some of the Admirals in Starfleet Medical don't take a bit of larceny by one of their own as a personal insult. I kept having to remind them that the warrant was retracted. I think they just wanted someone to fuss at for a while. Especially since it all hit the news-feeds and they feel I've made them look bad. Even though I really didn't do any of the things the warrant accused me of."

They both went to the bedroom and started to get dressed in their blues again. McCoy turned off the data screen and silenced the six talking heads, but not before hearing his own name from more than one commetator.

"Have we been mentioned much?" McCoy asked.

_I wonder if that's part of his solemn mood. I haven't had time to find out what's been hitting the prime-time news yet. Wonder how bad it really is?_

"Quite a bit, when they get past the daily news, science and political reports," Jim admitted. "They've found out we're married. I think the warrant came out and it was just 'interesting,' since no one really knew who you were. But then they ran across your name on our marriage license. Two stories in one and they've been running with it. That's why the crowd outside, hoping to get a word from us."

McCoy walked back over to the window. The crowd was still there. "So, they found out we're staying here, huh? Someone's been talking. Thanks for giving me the heads up. Don't tell me you had to wade through that."

Jim shook his head. "I was warned off that they'd be camped out down there. I think they'll thin out tonight, but we'll come and go through the back entrance to the underground garage. They can't really hang out there." McCoy noticed Jim's expression turned to one of confusion as he looked at him. "You _are_ one hard guy to track down. There's hardly anything about you out there in any of the public records. And what is out there is sometimes wrong. Like your high school picture having the wrong kid in it. There are places in the public record where you _should_ have something listed. But you don't. No wonder they're all freaking out. If they can get something from us, they'll have an exclusive. Or, at least a head start over the competition."

"What can I say?" McCoy asked with a huff as he fastened the last buttons on his jacket. "I'm just a whole bundle of ' _interesting_.' I'm so fascinating that no one's ever heard of me. You'll probably die of boredom just from hanging around me."

Jim snorted a laugh. "Hardly."

They were once again dressed in their best and in the car to the Introduction Dinner put on by Starfleet before the sun had even started to set. They successfully avoided the reporters, of whom a few were actually on the sidewalk outside the parking garage entrance. But no one could see into the car or could tell who had ordered it. It took them about forty minutes to make it back to Starfleet Headquarters and the Banquet room. High enough to get a gorgeous view of the ocean, yet well below the various offices of the upper Admiralty, the Banquet room was really a whole floor. While it's decor was said to change every few years, it was always designed to reflect a quiet, refined atmosphere. It had its own lift from the main floor, giving no access to the other areas, where secure lifts took those who worked in the building to their offices. It had its own five-star rated kitchen, used vetted cadets as hosts and servers and had a live band and dance floor. McCoy knew all this but had never been inside.

They passed security into Starfleet headquarters and walked to the lift. McCoy noticed security on both sides that didn't look like Starfleet.

_Must be Mr. Tippet's men. I guess a guy worth a billion can't go far without them. I wonder if Starfleet's let them take over in secure areas, or are only better at hiding their men? I can't imagine either is very happy about letting the other take over for them._

They joined several people already on the lift. All them Admirals that McCoy didn't recognize, and their 'plus ones'. The ladies were decked out in their best finery and the gentlemen in the current style of black tux.

_At least I don't feel too out of place. And Jim always looks gorgeous in his uniforms. Kid can't help but draw the eye._

And Jim did draw some looks, even in the close confines of the lift. Over the years, Starfleet had changed uniforms like the Earth changed seasons. This year's dress blues, which weren't always any shade of blue at all, were a dark gray with a dark blue tint. The colors brought out the bright blue of Jim's eyes and the flash of brightness from his hair. The fit showed off Jim's build, which was well muscled, but not overly so. Although, not all the looks were of approval. Several of those in Admiral's uniforms looked to be unhappy Jim was there, or unhappy that their companions were throwing him appreciative looks.

They both held back as the lift emptied and waited as the others were greeted by various hosts. They would then be seen to the club area where the hosts would make sure everyone had drinks. Waiting their turn gave McCoy a chance to look around.

The club was full of people, although McCoy supposed they had portioned off a larger room to make it seem cozy. One wall was a seamless pane of clear metal, giving a wonderful view of the ocean. One short wall backed the bar, already busy. The other two walls were covered with heavy green tapestries, showing what McCoy thought were stylized scenes from Andorian folklore. The heavy use of soft greens and blues throughout the room, mixed with flashes of shiny silver trim and neutral floor covering, gave the whole area an aquatic feeling. All without the overt use of sea-creature forms that so many decorators went overboard on.

_Nice color palettes. Calming, ocean-like and interestingly alien at the same time. A lot nicer than the places we mere officers get to party in._

To the left was a hallway to what McCoy guessed was the dining and dancing area. As Jim stepped forward to hand the host their hats for safe keeping, McCoy's eyes caught a familiar movement. He looked again, focusing on the person across the room that had caught his attention.

And his brain froze.

He blinked several times, his brain trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

_No. It can't be! God damn it all to hell, the universe can't hate me **that** much!_

He must have looked stunned, because the next thing he knew was that Jim was looking at him with concern, his hand firmly gripping McCoy's arm.

"Bones?"

McCoy took a breath and tried to get his shock under control. Jim turned to look at the crowd, trying to see what McCoy saw. He could see the question and confusion on Jim's face as he turned back to McCoy.

"The host would like to know what our drink preferences are," Jim said softly, giving McCoy's arm a squeeze before letting go.

"Refresher," McCoy managed to mumble through the numbness that had followed his shock. "Refresher Room."

The young cadet playing host nodded at him and swept her arm up, indicating a small alcove to their right. "Certainly, Sir. You will find our services that way."

Jim's eyebrows went up when McCoy then took Jim's elbow and steered him toward the 'fresher. McCoy could feel the effect of the adrenaline that had flooded through him telling him he should at least move faster, if not further, away. He managed to walk fairly sedately. Jim followed easily, but obviously curious to know why they needed to make the trip together and what had caused McCoy's brain to stutter.

Once inside the opulent entryway, where several people were going about their business, McCoy only nodded at the bathroom host. _Damn! One in here too? People everywhere!_

He headed for the door of a small, private room. It turned out to be a room with mirrors, a sonic cleaner, a neat shelf of sewing items and a sink with laundry brands of soaps and sprays. No toilet. At least he hadn't dragged Jim to a 'fresher stall, but a room to clean and adjust clothing in case of accidents. Maybe even where the hosts changed into their work uniforms.

"Bones! What's going on?" Jim asked. He took hold of McCoy's shoulders to force McCoy to face him. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

McCoy shook his head. He leaned forward to whisper, "Even worse. _Jac_ is here."

"Jack? Who?"

"No. _Jac!"_

Jim looked confused, then disbelieving as McCoy's meaning dawned on him. "You mean, _Jacquelyn the ex-wife,_ Jac? The Wicked Witch of the South?"

McCoy didn't blame him for his disbelief. Even McCoy had never thought to ever run across his ex-wife at any Starfleet event. Jacquelyn Amanda Cunningham, or _Jac_ to her friends, had never been a fan of Starfleet. Quite the opposite. This was the last place McCoy had ever expected to run into her while on Earth.

"Yeah," McCoy said weakly.

"Oh." Jim looked a bit stunned himself. "Well. I guess I was bound to meet her one day. Never thought it would be at Starfleet Headquarters. She never sounded like the type. Wait. She's not with Tom, is she?"

Tom Defore, McCoy's best friend in high school and after, had been the one Jac had had the affair with. To lose both of the people he loved at one time had been hard. But to lose them both to each other had pulled the rug out of McCoy's existence. When he'd found out that the two had been having an affair for a couple of years, behind his back, he'd been devastated. There had been times when he didn't know which loss he mourned the most, or which betrayal had cut the deepest.

"I don't know! I couldn't tell who she was with. What do I do?" McCoy asked desperately, feeling lost.

Jim took a deep breath and gripped McCoy's shoulders firmly.

"You're just surprised, and it's panicked you for a moment," Jim said with confidence. He gave McCoy a smile. "That part of your life is _over_ , remember? What I told you early on is still true. You _deserved_ better, from both of them. You've moved on. It's okay to let it go and not care what she thinks. She's just another ghost from your past that can't hurt you unless you let her."

_He's right. Damn, I'm acting like a confused teenager. Jac is long gone and I'm over her. I guess I just honestly never expected to see her again and the flashbacks threw me. I'm so much better off now, it's not even funny. And if Tom is here with her... well, he deserves her._

Jim gave him a small shake and a crooked smile. "Besides, your second marriage was a _huge_ step up. Congratulations."

McCoy laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, you're right about that. Sorry, I just--"

"Don't," Jim said with a fond sternness. " _No_ apologies. I'd have been thrown for a loop too. Now that you've had a second to adjust, we can go back out and do our mingling thing. Find out what's going on and who's she's with. If that asshole Tom is with her, then that's his tough luck." Jim grinned. "Introduce me to them. I'll make them sorry they weren't smart enough to keep you."

Hands on Jim's waist, McCoy pulled him in and kissed him. It was soft, warm, intimate and entirely heartfelt. When it was over, McCoy signed and leaned his forehead against Jim's.

" _God_ , I love you. Don't ever leave me, okay?"

"Never," Jim promised. "Now, let's go out there and do our job of kissing the right asses and bending over when ordered."

"Ugh." McCoy snorted. "Well, that image sure spoiled the moment. Lead on, Captain."

Following Jim back out into the club room, he did feel better. Maybe Jim was right and seeing Jac was like seeing someone who'd died. You just don't expect them to be popping up on you unexpectedly like that.

The cocktail hour was in full swing now, full of people in their fancy dress, making the rounds. McCoy found that the panic had passed, although he did keep an eye out for Jac. Somehow, she had disappeared into the crowd. The flute of good champagne that appeared in his hand wasn't hurting his mood at all, although he was careful to just sip. This was too important an event for McCoy to take any chances on getting tipsy.

What did surprise him was how many people came up to Jim and wanted an introduction to McCoy. A lot of the Admirals Jim had dealt with in the past, but McCoy had never had an occasion to meet, came up with the sole purpose of meeting Jim Kirk's husband. They and their plus-ones soon wandered off, not really wanting to hobnob much with a mere Captain and CMO. Some of the plus-ones did walk away with lingering glances for the young, charismatic Captain and McCoy couldn't blame them a bit.

_Man, I hope there's not going to be a pop quiz after this. I'm not sure I can remember all the names. Jim will have to remind me who they all are. He's so much better at all this socializing than I am._

McCoy did recognize Admiral Roberts when she walked up to them, drink in hand. If there was anyone in Starfleet who could make their dress blues look regal, Admiral Roberts was the one. Jim had told him she had the personality of a kind ruler, one who cared but who would not hold back from being cruel to be kind. And anyone who didn't think she had a quick mind and the ability to think like a Vulcan were going to be unpleasantly surprised when she stripped them down to their underwear with her words, exposing them for who they really were.

_Well, Jim said that Pike had the greatest respect for her and had no problem working with her as his commanding officer while in the Captain's chair. I can see why. She's been there, done that, and recognizes bullshit when she sees it._

With her was an older man, who smiled as if he really was happy to be meeting so many new people.

"Captain, I'm glad to see you here, making such a good impression." Instead of waiting for an introduction, Admiral Roberts turned toward McCoy. "You must be Doctor McCoy. I seem to have heard quite a bit about you lately. "

"Yes, Sir," McCoy said, nodding his head. One didn't shake hands with the brass. "I hope that, by now, what you hear in the press is positive."

Roberts smiled at him. "I'm sure you'll be glad to know that your husband's glowing compliments about his CMO would more than outshine anything negative the press could report. I would like to introduce you to _my_ husband." She turned to the man beside her. "Abraham Roberts. Abraham, this is Captain James Kirk and his husband and CMO, Doctor Leonard McCoy."

"A pleasure to meet you, sir," Jim did hold out his hand to shake Abraham's, who gripped Jim's hand happily.

"A pleasure to meet you both," Abraham said as he held out a hand to McCoy. Abraham's grip was firm but friendly. "I have to say that I've been following the adventures of the Enterprise since the horrific loss of Vulcan. I don't think you can understand how many of us civilians are relieved that people like you are out there, working to keep us safe."

"Thank you, Sir," Jim said with a smile. "We appreciate the sentiment. May I ask what it is you do?"

"Oh, I'm an artist. Not a famous one, but I do all right," the man said humbly.

"He is a _very_ good artist," Roberts said with a fond smile at her husband. "And while I would like to have the time to sing my husband's well-deserved praises, I think it is time for you to meet our guest of honor. Mr. Jason Tippet has asked about you, Captain. Let me take you to him and introduce you."

Jim and McCoy followed Admiral Roberts and her husband as they wove around small groups and servers with trays of drinks and hors-d'oeuvres. Just to the left of the club was a more private alcove, where about fifteen people were standing around in small groups. McCoy saw Jacquelyn right away. She was standing next to a tall, very thin man with short, dark hair and light blue eyes. Jacquelyn had her hand tucked into the man's bent elbow. She was leaning toward him, letting everyone know who she was with.

McCoy took a calming breath. _So that's where she went. To the upper-levels of the social lists. I should have known._

He leaned close to Jim and whispered, "That's Jac. Auburn hair and green dress."

He saw Jim look, then nodded slightly as they were led in Jac's direction.

She was, as usual, gorgeous. She was small, barely five-foot four and dainty, although her six-inch heels gave her an illusion of height. Her long auburn hair, which was a color that McCoy knew had had a lot of enhancement, was braided in one long plait that fell over one shoulder of her modest, but totally flattering mossy green dress. Her face was young-girl smooth and flawless, her skin without a blemish. There were no wrinkles around her mouth, eyes or forehead and her neck had the smoothness of youth. The work she'd had done over time was subtle, but to McCoy it was clear. Her eyes, more a brown-green in his memories than the bright olive they were now, looked at him stonily. She scanned him quickly, then looked away as if she had no interest in him whatsoever. Locking her gaze with Jim, she smiled.

_Yep. She recognizes me all right. I know that instant dismissal from way back. Used to be, I only saw her use it on others. I never would've thought she'd end up using it on me. She looks good, but unreal. If she thinks she needs all that work at thirty-four, she's going to be disappointed by her forties and fifties. She'll never look twenty again. None of us will. She'd have done herself a favor and let it happen naturally, as her mother did. That woman had a natural beauty that I always imagine Jac would inherit through time. Apparently not._

It wasn't until Roberts walked them up to the man standing next to her that McCoy recognized him from the news.

_The famous Jason Tippet? Billionaire extraordinaire. Said to be as smart as he is rich. Hard to argue with a man who's made so many credits before his mid-forties. I guess Jacquelyn managed to do better than Thomas DeFore after all. Wonder how long it took her to drop him for Tippet? Barely seconds, I imagine._

Roberts introduced the four of them, then discretely wandered away. McCoy noticed that Jac had gone back to using her maiden name.

Tippet was clearly not faking his joy at meeting Jim.

"Captain Kirk! I've seen so much about you on the news! It's a real thrill to get to meet you." He held out his hand and pumped Jim's hand with the enthusiasm of a true, star-struck fan.

"Thrilled to meet you too, Sir," Jim said with his most charming smile. He subtly extracted his hand from the important man's grip. "I've heard some amazing things about you and your company and how you're keeping us on the leading edge of technology. We couldn't do our jobs if we didn't have the right equipment with us out in the black."

"Glad we can help. Believe me, I really envy all you adventurous types. I can only imagine the things you've seen and done. I hope you write a book someday. I'd love to read it."

"I'm not sure if that's possible," Jim said with a chuckle. "So much we do is restricted, I'm afraid."

"True, true," Tippet agreed with a grin, "And I guess this little experiment of ours will be one of those stories you can't talk about. So I guess I shouldn't complain. " He then turned to McCoy and held out his hand. His smile disappeared, and his expression became more guarded. "But I'm being rude, Doctor McCoy. Very glad to meet you."

"A pleasure to meet you, Sir," McCoy said, putting on a polite smile and taking Tippet's hand.

The handshake was firm but short.

_Well, I think that answers the question about whether Jac had talked to him about me. Unless he's a bit freaked out by the warrant thing. Seems like everyone wants to remember that while forgetting that it was all retracted._

"And this is Jacquelyn Cunningham, my personal financial consultant and companion," Jason said with a smile as he slipped an arm around her shoulders.

"Pleasure to meet you," Jim said politely, offering his hand. She took it, smiling warmly at Jim.

"It really is a great honor, Captain," she said, with a tone that was a lot less southern than McCoy remembered.

She looked at McCoy, and the smile shut down instantly. "Leonard," she said tightly.

"Jacquelyn," McCoy said with a small nod in return.

"I've recently learned that you and Jacquelyn here have a shared past, it seems," Tippet said, looking McCoy up and down.

"Yes, I guess we do."

"How long were you married?" Tippet asked, watching McCoy closely.

"Oh, really, Jason, what does it matter?" Jacquelyn broke, looking uncomfortable.

"Just over four years," McCoy answered casually.

"Four years? Really?" Jason glanced at Jacquelyn, then back to McCoy. "Didn't realize it was so long. How long have you and the Captain been married, if you don't mind my asking?"

"About four and a half months now," McCoy said, trying not to stare as a small tendon in Jacquelyn's jaw twitched.

_Not happy about this conversation. Not at all._

"Well, that's a _long_ engagement," Jason said with a surprised laugh. "One for the records, I'd say."

McCoy glanced at Jim, who looked unsure at how to respond.

"Actually," Jim said with a polite smile, "we were married just about four months after Leonard proposed. I couldn't wait much longer than that, I'm afraid."

"Oh," Tippet said looking confused. "Well, I guess some stories have gotten a bit crossed. But congratulations to both of you. I hear, Captain, that you have a very impressive ship to go with your reputation."

"I have a very talented _crew_ ," Jim said. "They do all the work. I just supervise."

Tippet laughed. "I'm sure it's a lot more work than that. Just imagine how easier your job will be when we can cut down the number of crewmen you have to command. I'm sure you'll appreciate that."

A small bell chimed in another room.

"That must be dinner," Tippet said. "Well, better find our seats. Nice talking to you gentlemen."

With a small nod and Jacquelyn on his arm, Tippet turned to walk with the others in the room to the dining room. McCoy could tell that she was barely controlling the urge to pull Tippet away from them.

_Feeling's mutual._

Jim seemed content to hang back, so McCoy stood with him as the room slowly emptied.

"Well, that was interesting," McCoy said quietly when they started toward the dining room themselves. "Weird to find my ex on the arm of one of the richest men in the Federation."

"What do you think he meant when he made that remark about our 'long' engagement?" Jim asked.

"Don't know, but I have a feeling she's been fibbing to him a bit. At least, about how long we'd been married, anyway. He may be a fan of yours, but he's clearly not one of mine."

Jim looked at him. "You still feeling freaked out?"

"Feeling embarrassed," McCoy admitted as they joined the line of people waiting to be escorted to their assigned table. "I don't know why it threw me for such a loop."

"You did fine," Jim said, taking McCoy's hand and pulling to the crook of his arm, patting it to keep it there. "I have a feeling we won't be at Tippet's table. So, you can breathe easy. But there's something you should know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Jim said with a sympathetic look. "She'll be accompanying Tippet on the assignment. She'll be on the Enterprise for the week or so, at least, while we shake down the new equipment. I saw her name on Tippet's list, but honestly didn't make the connection."

"You never met her, so it's not surprising you wouldn't catch it," McCoy said with a sigh. "Looks like I'll be spending a lot of time in MedBay."

"Actually, I have the feeling that until the experiments start, we'll be expected to do some entertaining."

"And I'm supposed to be there."

"Protocol says you're supposed to be there," Jim agreed. He gave McCoy's hand a squeeze.

"I guess that's my curse for being married to the famous Captain Kirk. I have to share you with everyone," McCoy said with a huff. "Why couldn't you be a little less famous? Little less charming? Less phenomenal in bed? The things I put up with for you."

"Because you adore me," Jim said with a smile as their turn to be seated came up.

McCoy smiled.

_Yes, because I certainly do._

 

***

 

Jim kept the polite smile on his face as the wife of one of the civilian suppliers described her and her husband's trip to Risa, and some of their erotic adventures. Jim had really stopped listening early on, but the constant dialog had given him time to finish his dessert. A nice lemon sorbet which had followed several courses and had been one that Jim had actually enjoyed. Her husband, some sort of parts manufacturer that Starfleet had a contract with, had pretty much ignored her while he tried to drum up business with the man on the other side of him. Jim wasn't sure what he did. Brandy, the wife's name, had glommed onto Jim through the whole meal. Jim didn't think she'd even touched a bite of any of her courses.

"And then, well, we had to run back to the suite in the nude," the lady said with a giggle as she put a hand on his arm. "It was _so_ naughty."

_Lady, you think any of that was naughty, you should visit Risa with my husband. You wouldn't believe how long he can hold his breath under water in an outdoor hot tub. I thought he was going to suck my brains straight out through my dick. I'm still not sure how he managed that without drowning._

All of Jim's fondest memories of Risa included Bones, and that had just scratched the surface of 'naughty.'

_Strike that. Nobody should see Risa with Bones except me._

"Sounds like you had a good time," Jim said, subtly moving his arm. "My husband and I visited it on vacation there this last year. Beautiful place."

"I'd like to go back," Brandy said with a sigh. She then gave Jim a shy smile. "Just, maybe, with someone more interesting."

"Oh, well... maybe you will," Jim said, not knowing what to say to that. To his relief, the band started up, and some old-fashioned, slow dance music filled the dining hall. Several couples were leaving their seats to fill the dance floor. "Excuse me. The dance floor is calling."

Ignoring her crestfallen expression, Jim pushed his chair back and stood, putting his hand on McCoy's shoulder.

Jim knew McCoy had been taken over during dinner as well. An older man had spent most of his time talking to McCoy, and Jim had caught a word here and there. From what Jim could tell, the man had spent most of the dinner describing his various medical problems and his complaints about the modern medical system. Jim figured both he and McCoy were due a well-earned break.

He squeezed McCoy's shoulder, getting him to look up.

"Care to dance?" Jim asked.

The relief on McCoy's face was obvious and instant. "Yes. Please."

McCoy pardoned himself to the man next to him and followed Jim to the dance floor.

Jim took the lead, with his hand on McCoy's waist and taking McCoy's hand in his. The music was something from the ancient 50's or 60's American band era if Jim had to make a guess. Starfleet loved the ancient stuff. Jim had to admit it was nice to move to and he and McCoy could dance and talk at the same time. The stuff Jim usually liked was a little too frantic for that. They moved together easily, having practiced dancing at the Academy as part of their 'protocol' training. Well, Jim practiced, because McCoy already knew how to ballroom dance and had taken pity on Jim, who'd wanted to pass the class with top marks.

_How blind was I, to have danced with him before and not realized how damned sexy he is?_ Jim wondered. _Why we weren't fucking like bunnies all through the Academy, I'll never understand. Just stupid, I guess._

They made one lazy turn of the floor before Jim steered them to the edge by the band and away from the tables. There, he decided they could talk without being overheard. Jim pulled McCoy a bit closer and leaned in, enjoying the warmth of the man in his arms.

"Having fun yet?" Jim asked, keeping his voice very low.

"Just now," McCoy said with a sigh. "Doctor's curse. Everyone wants free medical advice."

"And you have to give it to them," Jim said with amusement. "Just try to tell me you don't."

McCoy leaned his temple against Jim's. "I can't. I'm hopeless. Thank God you saved me."

Jim laughed and turned them in a tight circle, keeping McCoy close. As he did so, he caught sight of Tippet, at the table with some of Starfleet's highest-ranking officers. At Tippet's side and currently being ignored, sat Jacquelyn Cunningham. Jim could just see the glint of her eyes in the dim light. Her eyes were on them as she sipped at the drink in her hand.

_Is that jealousy? Or anger? Or both?_ Jim wondered. _She is beautiful, although a lot smaller than I expected. Every time Bones talks about her she seems so powerful and intimidating._

Jim had seen pictures of her when she was much younger. Most of the pictures of McCoy's later teens and early twenties had her in them. Occasionally, Jim could tell that David must have had her cropped out of some. But her and McCoy's wedding pictures were sort of stuck with having them both in it. McCoy himself had never kept any of her. Jim knew the auburn hair was real, although not the same shade. And he thought he remembered her eyes being browner and not the bright green they were now. McCoy had once called her an 'overstuffed fire cracker,' and Jim had felt that that described her well. She seemed to have a way of being the center of attention, even when she wasn't. Not that McCoy had talked about her at all, really, when he was sober. And what had seeped out in his drunken moments spoke to Jim of a heart crushed, trust shattered, and an inner fear that it really _was_ all his fault. And Thomas DeFore carried his own blame for that as well.

On a whim, Jim steered them closer to Tippet's table. And as they swayed to the music, Jim curled McCoy's hand against his chest. He could practically feel Jacquelyn's eyes tracking their every movement. As the music came to a stop and some couples left the floor, Jim leaned in and gave McCoy a small kiss as they parted. It went against the usual rules for 'public displays of affection' for such an event, but Jim couldn't help it.

McCoy looked at Jim in surprise at the move, then followed Jim's glance to Tippet's table, where the only person paying attention to them was now glowering.

McCoy tried to hide a smile as he looked back at Jim. As the band struck up another song, he whispered, "Wanna dance some more?"

"I'd love to," Jim said with a grin.

 

***

 

 

McCoy groaned with relief once the door to their hotel room slid shut behind them. The dim night-lighting came on when they entered, making the small room seem warm and cozy. Finally, he could relax.

They'd been able to slip out just before eleven. He and Jim had made the rounds to say good night to Roberts and her husband and Tippet. Jacquelyn, who'd never left her table the whole night because Tippet hadn't, had ignored their good-byes. She was more interested in her drink. They weren't the only ones leaving as soon as they could since tomorrow was a full work day for most. Add to that that Jim and McCoy had started their morning out on another ship, had hit-and run a quick visit to the Enterprise, and had debriefings and then the party to go to, McCoy felt like he'd been on the run for weeks. He was thankful they'd had the foresight to get the hotel room. Another few hours of travel to the ship seemed like one trip more than he wanted to make today.

That, and their cabin was still a holy mess.

"Well, _that_ was a night," Jim said tiredly as he walked to the bed and started to strip.

McCoy tossed his cap onto the bed but stayed by the door. He leaned back against the wall behind him and watched as Jim pulled off his jacket. Noticing that McCoy wasn't moving, Jim looked over at him with curiosity.

"Lights off," McCoy ordered.

The curtains were open on a moonless night, leaving small beads of light to dance on the walls, reflected from the city around them. There were speckles of light that danced across Jim, making random streaks of color across his torso and face.

"Keep going," McCoy said softly.

In the streaky glow, McCoy saw Jim smile as he began pulling off more clothing. His undershirt next, then he toed off his shoes and slid his pants down his hips. Jim took one step closer to the window, letting the color bounce off more of his body. The shadows accentuated the growing bulge in his underwear. A bulge that matched McCoy's.

"Reminds me of Risa," McCoy said, smiling. "We need to dig out that holo more often. Too bad we used up all the gel a long time ago."

"Need to go back and stock up," Jim said, walking slowly toward him.

"Need to go back for a month. A year," McCoy said. Eyes picking out Jim's form as more and more of it slid into the darkness of the room.

Jim came up close and McCoy felt the warmth of him as he drew near. Like a warm blanket in a cold room. Jim leaned in and gave McCoy a soft kiss.

"Didn't someone say something about getting me wet and naked, in that order?"

"Someone _did_ ," McCoy agreed, placing his hands on Jim's hips, his thumbs on the band of Jim's briefs. "I guess maybe that someone should pony up on his promises."

Still, in his dress blues, McCoy pulled Jim into his arms and kissed him. It only took a second for McCoy to thrust his tongue into Jim's mouth, to explore and taste, then pull back to bite and nibble at those responsive lips. Jim groaned into his mouth, wiggling back and forth to rub himself against McCoy's uniform.

McCoy pushed him back, toward the 'fresher and the dim nightlight that barely made the room visible. Backing him up through the door as he kissed Jim's nose, his cheeks. Making Jim walk backwards into the room. McCoy reached down and grabbed as much of Jim's ass with both hands as he could and squeezed hard. Jim moaned and rubbed his bulge against McCoy's hip.

"Wait here." McCoy stepped just far enough away from Jim to tap the manual shower controls, setting the temp of the water to Jim's preference. After the strong stream started and signaled that it was up to temp, McCoy once again took Jim into his arms, kissed him and walked him back into the warm stream.

Jim laughed into McCoy's mouth when he realized that McCoy hadn't taken off his blues and didn't intend to.

In seconds, Jim was hot, slick and warm under the stream, the hot water plastering his underwear to his body, just as McCoy's uniform was molding itself to him. McCoy kissed his way slowly across one of Jim's shoulders, then the other, nipping at the crook of his neck. Jim dug his fingers into McCoy's hair, following his progress. McCoy knew where Jim's sensitive spots were and enjoyed the sharp tug of Jim's fingers as they spasmed slightly when McCoy hit just the right bits of skin.

He worked his way down until he had to kneel on the pebbly surface of the shower floor. He could hear Jim's pants behind the sound of the water striking them both.

Jim's briefs were sodden with the warm water, draping over his erection and molding to his shape. McCoy took Jim's erection between his teeth, gently outlining his cock behind the fabric. Jim moaned deeply, and McCoy could feel Jim try to hold back his natural urge to thrust into McCoy's mouth.

McCoy took his time. He took tiny bits of cloth in his teeth, then pulled at the fabric, making the wet material pull at Jim's cock and balls in different directions. But he was very careful never to nip sensitive skin. Wouldn't do to leave the man raw or sore.

But he did take his time, working Jim as he also worked to breathe around Jim's erection and the falling water.

"God! Bones! Suck me off, please! Please!

He listened to Jim's desperate pleas and could feel Jim's struggle to control his body's urge to rub against McCoy's face.

Finally, knowing Jim was as hard as he could get, McCoy pulled the sodden fabric down over Jim's erection, letting the hard cock spring free. McCoy grabbed the base of Jim's cock and swallowed it in one go. His fist against Jim's balls, he could feel them pull up close to Jim's body just seconds before he came.

Jim gasped wetly, the pull on McCoy's hair painful as Jim mindlessly tried to push himself deeper as the spasms overtook him. But McCoy held his cock firmly and worked to hold the suction on Jim's cock steady. He let his tongue feel Jim's spasms as he ejaculated down McCoy's throat.

McCoy held still until he heard Jim take a deep breath and his fingers relaxed in McCoy's hair. Then he relaxed and let Jim slide out of his mouth.

"Damn... Bones..." Jim tugged on the jacket of McCoy's uniform, pulling him up. "So _good_ to me. So fucking _good_ ," Jim said softly, kissing McCoy deeply under the spray of water.

They both leaned against the wall as they kissed, Jim's hand reaching down to palm McCoy's erection through his uniform pants. McCoy moaned, pushing against the touch. He was so hard, and it wouldn't take much.

"What do you want? Tell me," Jim begged.

"Suck me," McCoy gasped. "Hard. Now."

Jim dropped to his knees and worked at McCoy's fastenings pulling McCoy's cock out through his fly. McCoy gasped as the heat of Jim's mouth surrounded him, and the pull of the hard suction lit up all the nerves up and down his spine until it was too much and McCoy came. Hard.

McCoy fought to keep upright through the spasms of pleasure as Jim swallowed once, then twice. Then McCoy held Jim's head still, letting him know a third time would be too much. Slowly, Jim let McCoy's cock go. McCoy slid down the wall of the shower, joining Jim. The spray was still warm and strong. McCoy closed his eyes and pulled Jim closer.

They stayed that way for a while before they had enough strength to turn off the shower, peel McCoy out of his sopping uniform which joined Jim's wet briefs on the floor of the shower, and dry off enough that they could sleep without waking up in a damp bed.

Finally, warm and comfortable in the clean sheets with Jim nestled beside him in his favorite position, McCoy ran his fingers softly up and down Jim's back. Soon, Jim's breathing slowed and deepened. His weight on McCoy seemed to double as he slipped into sleep.

Only then did McCoy let himself drift off, content that they'd gotten through another day. And tomorrow, they could go home.

 

 

***

 

 

Jim rolled over in bed, already knowing that McCoy's side was empty. It wasn't even warm. Lifting himself up just enough to see the time on the screen on the headboard, he saw that it was 4 am.

"Go back to sleep." McCoy's soft voice came from the other side of the dark room.

Jim rolled onto his back and blinked his eyes, trying to focus. Across from him, McCoy was sitting at the small table next to the window. He'd thrown on a robe and was sitting in the dark, looking out the window at the early morning skyline. A drink with ice made crystal-like noises as he took a sip. He didn't look at Jim.

_Ah, shit!_ Jim thought, suddenly awake. _I should have known he was still unsettled._

Jim still remembered the nights at the start of the academy, when they'd roomed together. And how McCoy would slip into what Jim called his 'suicide drinking.' McCoy had been a mess over his divorce, and any real time off he'd had to think about it, he'd drink himself blind. Jim had liked the older guy. A lot. So, he had done everything he could to distract McCoy in those empty hours when he would dwell on the past too much. They'd gotten into trouble. Some of it might have been fairly serious if Starfleet had ever found out about it. But it had been fun and McCoy had ended up choosing Jim's company over dwelling on the past.

Jim sat up.

"Hair of the dog?" he asked, trying to sound casual as his stomach tightened over his unease.

McCoy huffed with amusement. "Want some?"

"It's a bit early for that, isn't it?" Jim asked carefully. He pushed the sheet off and got up, walking the few steps to McCoy.

_Remind him of something good._

"We're going home today."

"Try some."

Reluctantly, Jim took the glass. There were several sips left of the liquid, golden even in the dim light. He brought it to his nose. Sniffed.

_What the...?_

He tasted it. It was apple juice. Just apple juice.

McCoy, smiling up at him, leaned over and snaked an arm between Jim's legs and around one thigh, pulling him a step closer. Then he kissed Jim's bare hip.

"Just thinking, is all. That reminds me of my early days with Jac. _Jac_ , not the Jacquelyn you met tonight. Needed to be able to think it through."

"And apple juice helps?"

"You need to go back to bed. _Someone_ has to be alert tomorrow. _Today_." McCoy removed his arm from around Jim's thigh and smacked his bare ass lightly. "I'll be okay."

"I've slept." Jim put the glass down on the table in front of McCoy and walked over to pull his own robe out of his bag. Slipping it on, he went to sit down at the small table next to him. The view was pretty. It would be dawn in a few hours. For now, the city was still asleep.

"You've talked about some of the bad times," Jim said softly. "You can tell me about the good times, you know. I know you loved her. I'm not jealous. I can still pretend that if I'd shown up in your life back then, I'd have beaten her out for you. Even though I never did married people."

"You're doing one now," McCoy reminded him with a smile, reaching for the glass again.

Jim chuckled. "I guess I am at that."

"I _did_ love her," McCoy said, his eyes on the glass as he moved it around, so the ice and liquid caught the light from outside. "But I can't say it was a mature love. We sort of grew up together. Her dad was a doctor, her mom in finance, just like she is. Her family had this huge, old house on some farmland that they'd go to on the weekends to get away. Mama, Pa and I would go over a several weekends a month when they were both free. Stay with the Cunninghams for a few days. A week if we had vacation that matched theirs. Explore the forest out back. Kid stuff. Mama got killed, and we didn't hear from Jac's family for a while."

McCoy sighed. "I was about fourteen when my Pa and her Pa touched base again. Invited us over. Went over a couple of times, but it was odd, without Mama. Jac and I started the same high school after that. I guess it was kind of natural that we'd hang around each other. Started dating, but it was platonic because she wanted to wait. Then the summer we were both sixteen and Pa and I were staying over, Pa and her folks took in a late night in town. Her brother, Robert was supposed to be chaperoning us, but he and his girlfriend kicked us out of the house so they could mess around."

McCoy smiled in the dark. "We made off for the forest, to mess around a bit ourselves when Jac showed me this bottle of homemade apple jack she'd stolen from her parent's liquor cabinet. I was graduating early and she said she didn't want me to go to college and leave her a virgin. She had the booze and protection, so we had sex. The plan was to fuck and then get drunk. Neither one went well."

"First time?" Jim asked. "Those are never as much fun as we'd want them to be."

"First time," McCoy admitted. "She was too jittery to be in much of a mood for sex and I was too excited and inexperienced. It didn't last long. I don't think she enjoyed it, just glad it was officially over. She was more excited about getting drunk. Imagine how pissed she was when she found out her brother had drunk the real stuff and had poured in apple juice to hide the theft. As if their parents wouldn't notice. Idiot."

Jim laughed. "Not too bright, huh?"

"No, he wasn't," McCoy chuckled as well. "Probably still isn't. And could that girl cuss! I learned my best cussing techniques from her. After she finally got done being pissed off, we sat on that blanket, drank that bottle of apple juice and planned our future. Together. At sixteen, we were a done deal, Jac and I. I used to rush back during weekends and college breaks to see her during her senior year. Then when we were both in college, we hardly saw each other in person but were on the comms whenever we had a chance. Later, we were able to move in together. We married when I'd earned my doctorate."

"You never messed around on her," Jim said, already certain of it.

"Nope. Wish I could say for certain she hadn't either," McCoy admitted, putting the glass back on the table. "But I can't. At the time, I trusted her one hundred percent."

They were silent for a moment.

_S_ _hould I ask? I know parts of it, but not the whole story. Maybe helping him find ways to avoid the memories was a mistake. Maybe I should have gotten him to talk about it instead._

He decided to ask.

"You've never told me how you found out. About her and Tom Defore."

McCoy took a big breath, then let it out slowly.

"Tom was my best friend through high school. Met Jac through me. We hung out all the time, and he was... safe to be with. Never tried to get me to hook up with anyone. Knew I had a girl and how much I loved her. Hung around with Jac and I when she'd come to me for a visit. Came and stayed at our place once in a while when we finally had one. Trusted him one hundred percent as well. That was a mistake."

He was quiet for a moment, and Jim let him sit and think.

When McCoy started again, he looked and sounded uncomfortable. He shook the glass in his hand, making what was left of the ice rattle.

"From what I understand, Jac and I had been married two years when she and Tom started their affair. I didn't have a fucking clue. Maybe I didn't want to see it. Don't know. Neither of them seemed inclined to make it more than just an affair, I guess. During that time Jac and I fought. A lot. She was always angry with me. With my schooling, my tests, my hours, where we lived... Even the direction of my career. Orthopedic Trauma and Emergency Response wasn't going to be a profitable practice, or get us into the right crowds. Always something about credits and my lack of drive to get them. We slept together less. Grew apart, really. Then when we'd been married about three and a half years, we found out she was pregnant."

Jim look sharply at McCoy.

_I_ _never knew that! That makes things worse, whatever happened. And it must have been bad because he's never mentioned a baby before._

McCoy continued his voice tense. "It was a bit earlier than we'd ever talked about having kids, but I'd finished my residency and was working on passing my boards and doing full time in the ER. Jac had found this great job as a financial consultant at a prestigious firm. One that Tom got her the interview for. They were working at the same place at this point. I was surprised but happy about the baby. She seemed happy. At about four months she started cramping really bad and I rushed her to the ER. She lost the baby."

_God, no wonder the memory upsets him!_

Jim reached out and put a hand on McCoy's arm. "Bones. I'm _so_ sorry."

McCoy patted Jim's hand and sighed. "She didn't want the fetus tested afterward, just wanted to go home and cry. But I signed for the tests and gave permission for DNA samples to be taken from Jac and I for comparison. I made the decision without her because she was so upset at the time and I wanted to know _why_. I'm a _doctor_! How could I not want to know _why_ my child didn't make it? When we got home I told Jac. She was livid. Beyond furious. She knew what I'd find out when the tests came back. In the middle of her screaming at me, she finally told me that she and Tom had been lovers for over a year. The baby was his. She was sure. That's why she was happy about the pregnancy; it was his and not mine. They had plans..."

Jim squeezed McCoy's arm in surprise. "Damn! What a pair."

"Yeah," McCoy admitted with a sigh. "I'd gotten my heart set on that kid. It hurt, both losing it and the fact it wasn't mine to start with. After all the screaming was done that night, on both sides, I packed up and moved to a hotel. Tom was driving up to the house as my taxi was pulling away. He never even glanced at me. I lived in a hotel after that. She filed for divorce and I didn't contest it. I gave her everything she wanted just to get rid of her and not drag it out. It only took about a month. It was so hard, telling Pa..."

McCoy's voice broke. He paused and took a breath.

"We were both so excited about the baby. He wanted me to come live with him, but I just couldn't. I just wanted... something new. To put my schooling to good use and keep busy. I was only 27 years old and had lost a baby, my wife and the best friend I ever had, all in one night. Saw an article in a medical journal while wallowing in that hotel about how Starfleet needed doctors desperately. Didn't even discuss it with Pa. Talked to a recruiter the next day and signed up to leave a few weeks later. Signed the divorce papers when they came in, paid off my old student loan bills and drank for three days to try to work up the courage to show up for that shuttle."

McCoy huffed in amusement as he glanced at Jim. "You saw the result of that on your shoes. I ran from that whole part of my life for a long time, until it didn't hurt so much when I thought about it. Then realized what I had around me; a purpose, an exciting job where I could make a difference, a family of sorts. And I finally realized that the guy who'd been taking care of me for months, getting me through the bad times by showing me some good times, was a great friend. A _real_ friend and not the fake friend Tom was. I could trust you and you never once let me down. So, I realized I didn't need the drink to numb the memories of my failures. Tonight, I guess I just needed to sit and look those memories square in the face. And you know what?"

"What?"

"Losing that life was hard, but I earned a better one." McCoy stood and slipped out of his robe, letting it fall on the chair. He smiled at Jim as he held out his hand. "Let's go back to bed for a while. I want to hold you. You make me feel good."

"Anything," Jim said, letting McCoy pull him up. He tossed his robe on the table as he headed for the bed.

They curled up together again under the covers, McCoy pulling Jim into his favorite position of being half-on half-off. Jim realized that it must be McCoy's favorite position as well.

They were quiet for a few minutes. All Jim could hear was their breathing and the air flowing through the room.

"You were wrong, before," McCoy whispered.

"About what?"

"About going home today." McCoy kissed Jim's temple. "You're here. I'm home already."

Jim smiled and rubbed his palm over McCoy's ribs.

_Same here, Love._

_Same here._

***

 

 

"But Captain! I _know_ who he is, but those are _my_ engines he's messing with!" Scotty hissed as he followed Jim and Spock down the corridor. "We've just had several intensive and complicated upgrades, not only on the engines but the software in a lot of the systems as well. It's daft to be makin' changes on top of _those_ changes when we haven't even gotten to field test them yet."

Jim sighed. He and McCoy had gotten aboard early yesterday and barely had had time to catch up on all the reports and documents that accompanied all the new upgrades the Enterprise had undergone in the last seven weeks. Then they'd hit the sack late and just barely had time to tidy up their bedroom before they zonked out. They would have to leave most of the mess that Security had made of their cabin while looking for McCoy until later. When they had a minute. Someday.

"Scotty, I know how you feel," Jim said, holding up his hands to forestall Scotty's next objection. "You've been working harder than anyone else on this ship to make sure that all the engineering hardware and software upgrades were installed correctly. And I'm sorry I wasn't here for most of it. You and Spock did a _great_ job, and I've approved all the tweaks you did without me being around to approve beforehand. You both _totally_ know what you're doing, and I understand that we should get some time to shake out the bugs."

Jim stopped outside the Ready Room door and lowered his voice as he stepped closer to Scotty. "But my hands are _tied_. I have _no_ wiggle room in this. Richard Daystrom and his men have total and complete access to all areas of the ship and the next few days to get their experimental equipment installed and running."

"But he's not letting me in to _see_ what he's doin'," Scotty complained. "His techs now want to connect the computer mainframe to our main power conduits. Which is all fine and dandy, but he's got more than just cables and surge protectors going on there. There's a whole, separate system he wants to install to make the link. Which is just damned _strange_ when all he's lookin' to do is pull power. That, and there's _no documentation!"_

"I _understand_ ," Jim said sympathetically. Spock had also been perturbed at the fact that he would have no access to any of the controls or any information on the new M-Five system. Jim outright hated it. It left him feeling unsettled. "But this is how our orders play out. There's nothing I can do about them. But..." Jim said in a whisper, looking around to make sure they weren't being overheard. Scotty leaned in closer. "I do have some leeway on the twenty crewmen that will stay on the ship. I've talked to Dr. McCoy, and he's willing to give up that second spot from medical, as long as we've all got our ER training up to date. There's only supposed to be twenty-five people on the ship altogether when we leave, counting Daystrom, Tippet and his assistant. McCoy's not happy about it, but he's willing. So, you get one extra man out there."

"Only one? Well... I might make do with one more, I suppose," Scotty admitted reluctantly.

"And I know that Daystrom is pretty secretive about what he's doing," Jim added, lowering his voice. "But if Keenser should happen to be working in one of the small access areas and just happens to see..."

Scotty looked a little sheepish. "Well, he _has_ been doing some clean-up of the minor cabling systems up on and under the catwalks. And Daystrom keeps ordering _me_ out, not _all_ my men..."

Jim smiled and patted Scotty on the shoulder. "Good man. Try to keep on top of things, _but_ stay out of the way. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can go back to normal."

Jim entered the Ready Room and saw that Daystrom, Tippet and Jacquelyn Cunningham were waiting on him. Tippet was dressed in an expensive business suit, Daystrom in engineering coveralls and Cunningham in a sharp business outfit with a skirt, her hair piled fetchingly at the back of her neck.

_I'll have to think of her as Cunningham and not as Jac. She's here on business._

"Sorry," Jim said to those gathered. "I got hung up for a few minutes. I'm afraid I have a lot to catch up on, and the crew sometimes has to snag me on the run to get things signed off."

"Oh, you're right on time," Tippet said with a large smile. He walked over to Jim and offered his hand, which Jim shook. "So pleased to see you again, Captain. And this is Doctor Richard Daystrom."

Jim took his hand back from Tippet's enthusiastic greeting and offered it to Daystrom.

"I'm honored, Sir. Welcome to the Enterprise."

Daystrom, a tall, powerfully built man in his late forties shook Jim's hand but did not smile. The look in his dark eyes was one of concern and distraction. It was clear his mind was still on the installation process. "Thank you, Captain. She is a very well built ship."

"Thank you, Sir. I agree."

Tippet continued. "And you've met the head of my finance department, and my companion, Miss Cunningham."

"Hello again, Captain." Jacquelyn held out her hand with a warm smile.

"Nice to see you again." Jim returned the smile and the handshake, then turned back to Tippet. "Please, let's sit and get started. Does anyone need anything? I can call the Galley--"

"No, thank you, Captain," Tippet said, going to sit at the head of the table. "You're right, best to get this over and done with."

Jim sat, trying not to look a little miffed that Tippet had not only taken his usual seat, but that Daystrom and Cunningham sat next to their boss. Jim chose to sit next to Daystrom.

"Captain," Daystrom began, looking at Jim with a frown, "forgive me, but I would like to get back to work as soon as possible. I will need to hook the M-Five up to your main power plants. But your Chief Engineer seems to have some objections in that area. I agree to talk to you first before I proceeded."

"I'll let him know that you are to proceed with the connection," Jim said. "I understand he's a bit concerned with the fact that he has not been given any schematics or any real in-depth information on any of the changes you're making to his system."

"Yes," Daystrom grumbled with a frown. "He continually complains about that."

"You must understand, Captain," Tippet added, giving Jim his infamous 'salesman's' smile, "that the results of this experiment will be groundbreaking. Until we get a final design in place and patent issues worked about, we need to keep the details of the M-Five confidential. And since no one but Dr. Daystrom will be allowed contact with the machine once we leave, there's really no need for anyone else to have access to very sensitive data."

"While I understand, I do agree with my Chief Engineer, that in case of unforeseen circumstances he and his men will find it hard to help the Doctor Daystrom in case of--"

"There will be _no_ problems," Daystrom said, crossing his arms defensively. "This version of the M-Five is more than capable of doing the job it was designed to do."

"I take it the 'five' in M-Five means there were four other versions?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Daystrom said reluctantly. "As that is what happens when creating something brand new. They were not ready for field testing. The M-Five is."

"I'm sure you'll find in your orders that all is as it should be, Captain," Tippet said casually. "With everyone's cooperation, Doctor Daystrom, when will the M-Five be ready?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, at the latest," Daystrom replied.

"Can we leave dry dock?" Tippet asked him.

"Oh, certainly. There's nothing we need here. Everything is on board."

"Then, can we be on our way, Captain? Miss Cunningham and I have just transferred aboard and we've been able to settle into our very nice accommodations. _We_ have no need to wait."

While Jim felt reluctant about this whole experiment, all departments except for Engineering had reported the 'all clear' in their morning reports. There was no use sitting in dry dock for another day, taking up important space. Other ships had work that had to be done as well.

"It will take us a few days to get to Starbase 8, and they've said that they're ready for our crew to arrive," Jim admitted. "I'll confer with my First Officer. If he believes we're good-to-go, then we can leave a bit before schedule. I'm sure the dry dock will appreciate us leaving early. They're already booked tight as it is."

"That sounds great, Captain," Tippet looked at the old-fashioned and probably horribly expensive dial watch on his wrist. Jim would even bet the band was a real, old-fashioned animal leather. "But I have some sub-space meetings I need to take in our suite in a bit. No rest for the very wicked, they say. Oh, I wanted to tell you, Captain, that the dinner scheduled for tonight is, unfortunately, overlapping with some of my meetings that have just been rescheduled. If you don't mind staying and working it out with Jacquelyn, who's volunteered to be my personal assistant on this trip, we can work out a better time for all of us."

As Tippet stood, so did Jim. "Certainly."

"I'll check back with you then, Captain," Tippet said happily, patting Daystrom on the back as he passed him to the exit. Daystrom stood and nodded at Jim, then left as well.

_Okay. This isn't awkward._ Jim thought as he sat back down next to Jacquelyn, in his usual chair, so he could access his computer's datascreen. Jacquelyn was now typing something on her PADD. _At least we have actual business to discuss._

Jacquelyn just smile at him and started the discussion about moving their dinner back an hour, listed what Tippet's dietary requirements and preferences were, made sure that Tippet would have complete access to all the subspace channels during the times he'd need them and asked if Tippet could schedule a complete tour of the ship before they got to the Starbase. If Jim were agreeable.

Jim was. He used his datascreen to send messages to McCoy and the Galley about the change in dinner time, and the head cook with the list of Tippet's preferences.

"Looks like we're all set for dinner," Jim said, punching the 'send' button on the last message. "If there's anything else?"

Jacquelyn put down her PADD and gave Jim an appraising look, one eyebrow raised. "Trying to get rid of me so soon, Captain? Do I make you uncomfortable?

"No. Why should you?" Jim asked, keeping his reactions neutral.

"Oh, I imagine Leonard has told you quite a bit about me," she said with a smile, leaning back in her chair. "I'm also sure he never intended to see me again. And yet, here we are, on the same ship."

"Yes. Life can be very strange sometimes." He got up, getting ready to leave. "I'm afraid I'm very busy, Miss Cunningham. Maybe we can visit more tonight, at dinner."

She tilted her head, her voice clearly indicating her boredom at the idea. "Yes, that sounds like such fun."

Jim gave her a small bow. "Yes, I'm sure it will be. Until then."

And as Jim left the room, he could feel her eyes on him.

_She could tell I was feeling awkward around her and she had to push it. She's up to something. Tonight, I'll have to be careful of what I say to her. If I'm lucky, we'll all be too busy talking shop to get personal._

 

 

***

 

 

"And that, Captain, is how I got the Andorians to sign a contract for our new Class 8A communications systems," Tippet said happily as the dessert course was placed in front of them. "And you must know how touchy Andorians are about using anything but their own, home-grown technologies. I tell you, Captain, it's fierce negotiations like that that keep TippSum the biggest, fastest evolving industry in the computer field!"

"I can see you're a man who likes challenges," Jim said, pretending interest in the small bit of cake placed in front of him. _And you sure like talking about yourself and name dropping. Are there_ any _famous or politically important people you_ don't _know?_

Dinner could have been said to have gone well if it weren't for the fact that of the six of them, Jim and Spock were the only ones actually eating. Daystrom was clearly not listening, anxious to be back in engineering. McCoy sat at Jim's left, across from Jacquelyn. An unfortunate placement. Both had been steadfastly _not_ looking at each other. Both only picking at their meals. Spock, at least, seemed to be very interested in Tippet's bragging all through the meal, which, thankfully, gave Jim a chance to eat. He'd been on the run all day and had missed lunch.

"Oh, there are all kinds of challenges for a man who's ready to take them on," Tippet agreed, leaning back in his chair with his wine. "I find that not many men are willing to take risks, Captain. And that's why so many of them will never amount to anything."

Jim froze for a second, then made himself relax. He'd seen that small, probably unintentional flicker of Tippet's eyes toward McCoy.

_Is that what all this brag-fest has been for? To try to impress Bones? Or take a dig at him? Just what did Jacquelyn tell him about her ex-husband?_

"Sir? Do you consider this a risk?" Spock asked.

"It is _not_ a risk," Daystrom said suddenly, his deep voice causing all of them to look at him. He did not look up from his plate. "The M-Five will work as promised. I am sure of it."

"So, you see," Tippet said with a smile at Spock. "Not really a risk. Not with Doctor Daystrom himself here to make sure that everything runs smoothly."

"If the M-Five works under actual conditions as well as it has under the simulated tests," Spock added, "It will mean a revolution in space technology as great as warp drive."

"How do you know so much about it, Commander?" Tippet asked.

"I hold an A-7 computer expert classification, Sir," Spock replied. "I'm well acquainted with Dr. Daystrom's theories and discoveries. The Basic design of all our ship's computers is Dr. Daystrom's. I find his published works fascinating." Spock turned to Daystrom. "Sir, even your breakthrough in duotronics did not have the promise that this project does."

Daystrom smiled, the first real smile Jim had seen from him. "Then you can see why this test run is all important, Mr. Spock. Men no longer need to die in space or on some alien world. Men can live and go on to achieve greater things than simple fact-finding."

"Families who have members in Starfleet can then rest a lot easier," Tippet added, nodding his head in agreement. Jim noticed that small glance, just a flicker toward and away from McCoy again. "It's horrible to lose a child. Especially to lose one needlessly."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jim saw Jacquelyn tense and glanced at McCoy, then away. Beside him, McCoy was still toying with his dessert, having missed the look Tippet had given him.

"I think we can all agree on that," Jim said casually, raising from his chair and indicating the connected lounge area just through a small hallway. "Drinks, anyone? We have a beautiful view of space from warp speed outside the lounge, if anyone is interested."

"Sounds wonderful, Captain," Tippet said happily. He stood and pulled Jacquelyn's chair back for her.

"If you don't mind, Captain," Daystrom said as he stood. "I need to get back to work. I'd like to have the system completely installed before midnight."

"Mr. Spock can help you," Jim suggested. Daystrom stiffened.

"If you don't mind, I would like to finish up on my own. There are some very important systems that I need to keep confidential."

"Mr. Spock is very discreet," Jim added.

"I'm sure he is, Captain," Tippet interjected, "but Doctor Daystrom seems to work much better and faster on his own."

"If you'll excuse me," Daystrom said, clearly taking his leave at his boss' nod.

"Of course," Jim said.

"There are several things I also should be attending to," Spock said. Jim could see his disappointment. He knew Spock was practically drooling to get a good look at the system.

"Carry on, Mr. Spock," Jim said.

Daystrom and Spock took their leave. The remaining four made their way to the lounge. There, in the dim light, there were various couches and small nooks that could comfortably seat parties of ten or so, and a small bar area with an attendant. All overshadowed by the clear viewport that took up all of one wall and half of the ceiling. At warp, the light from the stars seemed to skitter by them in long lines of light, an optical effect that gave the ship the feeling of movement and speed that the ship's own frame didn't even hint at. It was a view Jim would never tire of.

Taking his drink, Jim walked to the center of the room, taking in the view. Tippet came up beside him.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tippet asked.

"Very. I guess you could say the view is one of the perks of the job," Jim admitted. He turned to smile at McCoy as he came up beside him.

"One of the few," McCoy admitted with a smile at Jim.

Tippet turned as Jacquelyn came up beside him and slipped her arm through his. "I think it makes me feel very lonely."

"Not if you have the right person to share it with," Tippet said, patting her arm. "Which brings me around to something I was curious about, Captain." Tippet turned to Jim and McCoy. "How did the two of you meet? That seems to be the story all the news-feeds are interested in. Can't say I haven't wondered myself."

Jim saw Jacquelyn avert her eyes and he could feel McCoy, who was standing close, tense up. _Not a story she wants to hear, nor one Bones would want his ex-wife to know the details about._

"We actually met on the shuttle to the Academy," Jim said casually. "We got to talking and hit it off. We even roomed together for three years. We've been best friends ever since, but it took us a while to become a couple."

Tippet looked back and forth between him and McCoy, that same, slightly confused look on his face.

"So... you didn't know each other _before_ the Academy?"

McCoy huffed. "No. Unless you count that hour and thirty minutes on the shuttle as being _before_ the Academy."

"And you've only been married about four months," Tippet said looking as if he was working a puzzle. "Strange, I had the impression that you two knew each other a _lot_ earlier."

"What?" McCoy said, looking up from his drink, echoing the surprise Jim felt. "Did she tell you that? Did she--"

McCoy seemed about to take a step forward, so Jim put his hand on McCoy's back.

"Jason, I think we should call it a night," Jacquelyn said quickly, her smile hard at the edges. She didn't even glance at McCoy and was tugging on Tippet's arm. "Tomorrow is such a _big_ day. It'll be late by the time we get settled in."

Tippet looked at her with a frown, then turned to Jim. "She's right. We should call it a day if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Jim said. "I think it's time my husband and I called it a day as well. Goodnight."

Tippet nodded as he said goodnight, and turned to lead Jacquelyn away. Once they had left, Jim signaled the bartender that he, too, could leave. Once he'd left and they were alone, Jim draped his arm around McCoy's shoulders. McCoy was still stiff, his face set in that angry, closed off look he got when he was trying to hold his temper.

"What was that about?" Jim asked quietly.

"She's _lied_ to him," McCoy said shortly. He looked at Jim. " _That's_ why he thinks we've been together longer than we have. I think she's told him that I left her for you, or something like that. She's probably lied her ass off about everything."

"Why would she do that?"

McCoy sighed. "Maybe to get back at me in some way. Maybe to hurt you. Or maybe just because she wanted his sympathy. I heard some of the nurses talk about Tippet being on board and how he went through his own really bad divorce a few years ago. His wife cheated on him. Maybe Jac...Jacquelyn... didn't want Tippet to know she'd done the same thing."

_Sounds about right. Most likely she's covering her own ass, now that she's got the rich boyfriend of her dreams._

"Well, you don't have to worry about seeing her too often, because once we drop off the crew at Starbase 8 tomorrow, the experiment should keep us all busy."

"Except me," McCoy said, shaking his head. "Hopefully. But I don't like it, Jim. A vessel this size cannot be run by one computer. I just don't see this ending well."

"You and me both," Jim said swirling what remained of his drink, watching the ice move. "And I'm afraid we'll find that out the hard way, tomorrow. Maybe I'm just feeling petty and wishing failure on it all." He looked up at McCoy. "Am I afraid of losing command to a computer? Daystrom's right. I can do a lot of other things and you can always find a place that needs a doctor. We can't do this forever, no matter how much we want to. Am I afraid of losing the prestige and the power that goes with being a starship captain?"

"Jim," McCoy said kindly, "If you have the awareness to ask yourself that question, you don't need me or anyone else to answer it for you. Why don't you ask James T. Kirk? He's a pretty honest guy."

Jim sighed. "I'm not sure he knows."

"Well, his husband knows." McCoy leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "What say we call it a night ourselves? And maybe Jim Kirk's husband can show him what he really thinks of him?"

Jim smiled. "I think that sounds great. I hear his husband's pretty hot. Let's go see."

 

***


	2. Chapter 2

  

 ***

 

 

 

Doctor McCoy walked through the deserted MedBay while checking out all the equipment. Not that he didn't trust that his staff. He knew they'd double checked their own lists of responsibilities before they left for the starbase. But with the ship now empty and on its way to the planned war games, the quiet emptiness of MedBay and the corridors outside was making McCoy feel... he wasn't sure what to call it. Antsy? Unsettled? Creeped out?

_Probably all of the above,_ he admitted to himself as he ran another unnecessary diagnostic on a biobed. _It feels like a ghost ship when I'm in the corridors. I didn't realize how quiet the ship is without the normal noises a crew makes. Even during the upgrade, it was probably never_ this _empty, considering all the repair and replaced crew the dock had on board._

He sighed and looked around as the biobed signaled it's perfect operating state. He would be up on the bridge later, during the war games. But now, with the computer just making the simple maneuvers to get the ship headed in the right direction, at the right speed, there shouldn't be much to see.

_Heck, even I can do what the computer is doing. I don't see much that can go wrong. But with everything here new and tested, there's not much here for me to mess with. Maybe I should head for the bridge._

The corridor door slid open. McCoy stopped when he saw Jacquelyn walk in. She was dressed in a casual top and pants, her hair braided and hanging down her back. As always, she was lovely. 

"When I didn't see you on the bridge, I figured you'd be in your... safe place," Jacquelyn said with a smirk as she walked into the long and narrow room. "You always were drawn to every emergency room and clinic we ever passed by. I think you felt more at home there than when you actually _were_ at home."

"May I help you, _Miss_ Cunningham?" McCoy asked, pretending to be busy at the biobed he'd just checked out.

"Oh, come on, Len," Jacquelyn said casually as she walked up to the biobed next to him and sat on the edge, letting her feet dangle. She smiled at him. "No real hello for your ex-wife? Or does the new boy-toy keep you on a short leash?"

Anger flooded through McCoy, probably just as she intended. _Oh, fuck it. She wants to talk, let's talk!_

McCoy turned, crossed his arms, leaned against the biobed behind him. He glared at her. "My _husband_ is not a petty person, nor does he tend to get jealous. Not like some people I've married."

Jacquelyn chuckled. "Oh, so _quick_ to defend his honor. You must really be smitten with him."

"I _love_ him, big difference. I don't marry someone I don't love, even if that turns out to be a mistake. And Jim _isn't_ a mistake."

She narrowed her eyes, studying him. "You can imagine how surprised I was to hear that not only were you still in Starfleet, since I never thought that would last, but that you'd had a warrant put out for your arrest. _That_ was an interesting few days before the warrant was reversed and the news-feeds found that marriage license between you and the _famous_ Captain Kirk." She shook her head. "They had, of course, found _our_ marriage license and divorce records before that. I can't tell you how popular I was. I had every news-feed desperate to talk to me. Everyone wanted to know more about this infamous doctor, who had the gall to actually steal something from Starfleet. And with your father mysteriously missing, I was the one they courted."

"Well, you finally got your fifteen minutes of fame and your ultimate sugar daddy," McCoy huffed. "Congratulations. Everything you ever wanted. So, did you lie to the news-feeds like you lied to your boyfriend?"

"Why, Sir?" she used her most southern accent, one that McCoy knew she'd worked hard to lose, and placed her hand dramatically on her chest. "Whatever do you mean?"

"You told Tippet that I left you for Jim, didn't you?" McCoy accused. "Made it sound like _I_ was the cause of the whole break-up. Because Tippet has been burned once and wouldn't much like hooking up with someone who's liable to do it again, right?"

Her face grew angry. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe the version you carry around in your head isn't what _really_ happened? You always were so self-absorbed, Leonard, that you couldn't see past your last patient."

"Me? You think _I_ was self-absorbed?" McCoy choked out. "I wasn't the one who had an affair, or got pregnant by my lover!"

Jacquelyn jumped off the bed and strode toward him, anger in her raised voice and clenched fists. "Did you even _once_ stop to ask me why I had to find someone else? Or even ask yourself why you didn't even _notice_ for almost eighteen months? What did you expect me to do, when you were gone all the time? If it wasn't school work, it was training, or residency, or some other medical project that didn't include _me_!"

"You _knew_ what it was going to be like!" McCoy growled back in disbelief. "We _talked_ about this, all through college and when we moved in together. I _told_ you that my life would be hell until I got my Doctorate and then would get worse! I was doing it for our _future_ \--"

" _Your_ future, you mean!" Jacquelyn spat. "You couldn't even pick a specialty that would actually do _us_ any good! You were never going to make any credits in the ER or the Trauma center! You--"

"It always comes back to making _credits_ ," McCoy said, the old anger and frustration bubbling up again. "All it ever came down to you was the _credits_ and the _right_ crowd to hang around with. And you're right; I should have realized sooner that that's all you really cared about. And since I couldn't make you happy, well, that asshole of a best friend, Tom, could! He had all the right friends and connections, didn't he? Always bragging and name-dropping. All those famous clients he was pulling in. Getting you that job working with him. And then--" McCoy almost choked on the memory. "Then, letting me believe that his baby was mine? Why the hell didn't you leave then? Why the hell didn't you tell me the truth! _Anything_ would have been better than finding out like _that_!"

"Don't think I didn't want to!" Jacquelyn said sharply. "Tom was caring and attentive, and he was _there_ when you _weren't_. You're right. He knew the right people, and he was going to be somebody _important_. Not like you!"

"And where is he now?" McCoy asked with a sneer. "How long did you last with him? All of thirty seconds once you got introduced to _billionaire_ Tippet? Or did you two fuck around behind Tom's back for a while, just for kicks? Get pregnant by Tippet as well?"

Jacquelyn stepped up, and with all her might she slapped him across the face. McCoy froze, the sting of the slap reverberating through him, bringing up flashbacks of all the other times she'd hit him. He turned his face back to her and clenched his fists.

She raised her hand to slap him again. He caught her wrist.

The door to the corridor swished open.

They both froze, staring daggers at each other.

"Uh, I guess this must be a bad time?" Scotty asked uncertainly as he stood only one step inside the room.

"Get the hell _out_ of _my_ MedBay," McCoy whispered to her. He kept his voice calm. "This is _over_. Now and forever. Be glad for it and leave it in the past, where it belongs."

"Just make sure you _stay out_ of my business with Jason," She warned, pulling her arm out of McCoy's grip. "Don't you mess this up for me, or I swear you'll regret it. All those news-feeds will be more than happy to hear what life was really like with you. You and your _sweetheart_ won't be able to contradict anything I tell them without them thinking you're just covering up for each other. They'll believe anything I say! So just remember that when Jason goes asking about our history together."

She turned on her heels and strode toward the corridor, bypassing an uncomfortable and embarrassed Scotty without even glancing at him.

When the door slid shut behind her, McCoy took a breath.

"You okay, Doc?" Scotty asked walking up to him and looked at him with concern. "She landed a good one, didn't she?"

McCoy touched his burning face and felt a small drop of blood run at the corner of his nose. "Yeah, she's always had a good arm on her."

Scotty went over to the head of the biobed and pulled out a small bit of gauze from a drawer. He handed it to McCoy. "It's a bit unusual for your patients to express their thanks in that way, isn't it?"

McCoy huffed a bitter laugh as he dabbed at the blood. "Patient's yes. Ex-wives, no."

Scotty's eyes went wide as he looked back at the door, then at McCoy. " _That_ was the _Ex_? Mr. Tippet's lady?"

"Yeah," McCoy admitted, tossing the bit of bloody gauze into one of the MedBay's Bio-recyclers. "That was her."

"Well, I knew you'd been married before, because Jim mentioned it once," Scotty admitted, giving McCoy a crooked smile. "Seems you're partial to the lively ones, then."

"Jim's kind of lively, yeah, but not _that_ kind." McCoy sighed and leaned on the biobed. "She didn't start getting violent until the last year of our marriage. I think she always hoped that I'd hit her back, so she could threaten to file charges against me. Drove her crazy that I never did. Drove my Pa crazier that I never turned _her_ in, once he found out. But since she stopped once she got pregnant, I thought--"

"You have a bairn?" Scotty asked in surprise. "With _her_?"

"No. She and her boyfriend were having a kid. They lost it." McCoy sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Scotty, I didn't mean to draw you into my mess. I'm just rattled. You came in for something?"

"Oh, yes," Scotty said as if he'd forgotten himself. "Wanted to thank you for giving me your crewman spot. I really needed the extra man."

"Oh, yeah, well, I have to admit that with only twenty people on board, two doctors did sound like overkill."

"But you still worry about the decision," Scotty said happily, patting McCoy's arm. "And I completely understand and thank ya for it. Oh, and I wanted to tell you that the first test of the M-Five went well. Got us on course and headed the right way. I take that as a good sign, even though having the bloody thing in my engineering bay is about to give me a stroke." Scotty admitted. "But we'll be running the big test soon, by turning off the Enterprise's' computer systems and letting the M-Five run a planetary survey for us. The Captain's said I might want to collect you on my way up. Figured you'd want to be there when we flip the switch."

"Thanks, Scotty, I _do_ want to be there," McCoy touched his burning cheek. He could feel the skin was swelling a bit. "Just give me a minute to re-gen this a bit. And... don't mention this to Jim, okay? I'll tell him later. After all this is over."

Scotty gave him a searching look, then frowned. "I doubt it'll come up in conversation, Doctor, but I can nae promise you that. If she does this again--"

"I'm _not_ going to be spending any more private time with her," McCoy promised with an embarrassed smile. "And she won't do anything in public. I'll be safe for a while."

Scotty nodded, but still looked uncertain. "Well, better get that taken care of, then. We'll be due on the bridge in a bit."

It barely took him a moment once he was alone in his office, Scotty waiting for him outside. But at that moment, as he looked at himself in the mirror in his office so he could treat the swelling, he realized how stupid he had been.

_I let her push all my buttons, just like always. As if she still mattered and the reasons she did what she did mean anything to anyone except her. Because she's still just as mad at me as I am with her, and we've never been able to get past that. She's afraid that I'll call her a liar in front of Tippet and ruin her good thing. Maybe, it's time I just moved on and let it go. Let her live a lie if she chooses. Let Tippet find out on his own who she is._

_I have Jim._

Everything that she hadn't been Jim had; a real friend, a generous lover, caring, patient, understanding. Jim knew how important being a doctor was to him. How important it was to be the best doctor he could be. Jac had had her own ambitions, and McCoy just wasn't cut out of the same cloth. Their worlds were too different to co-exist happily.

_Neither of us could give up what we wanted out of life for the other. It was just easier to stay together than to face the fact we should have called it quits before we even married._

And it hit him then. That if he'd stayed with Jac and had tried to mend what hadn't meant to be meshed together in the first place, in a few more years Jac would have been saddled with a dying husband. McCoy would never have found that he had xenopolycythemia until it started manifesting and there would have been no cure waiting in the wings. How could they have dealt with that kind of death sentence, if they couldn't even make the simple things work?

_She would never have stayed to see it through with me. She wouldn't have had the stomach for it. She'd be sorry about it, but she'd have left. But Jim... Jim would have been there every second I had left. Suffered through all of it with me and had been there to say good-bye. Just like I'd be there, every second, for him. Just like the promise we make to each other every damn day we wake up on this ship and take the chance of it being our last._

_Jac and I were a mistake. One we_ both _made when we were young and didn't understand what it was we were really looking for. We were doomed before we even started._

The anger that had flared during their argument softened into a sadness that felt old and bitter.

He returned the regenerator back to its spot and headed back to Scotty.

_Maybe the universe likes me after all. It put me with Jim when we both needed a friend. It gave us both second chances after our death sentences. It gave us the time we needed to realize just what we had together, as adults and not horny, inexperienced kids who think it's real love just because sex is involved._

_Maybe I need to grow up and realize that I'm where I'm meant to be. Even if it took a while._

_And wish the Jac I used to know, the young woman I once loved, the same happiness._

Much easier said than done, he knew. But he was going to try.

"C'mon, Scotty," McCoy said with a smile, "Let's go keep an eye out on that idiot computer upstairs. I have a feeling they're all going to need our help by the time this is through."

McCoy and Scotty arrived on the bridge, McCoy still feeling a bit weirded out by the emptiness of the ship's corridors. Of the twenty crewmembers left on the ship, seven of them were now on the bridge. Daystrom, Tippet and Jacquelyn were there, making it an even ten. Even then, the bridge felt almost empty as well. First thing McCoy noticed was how tense Jim was. He and Daystrom seemed to be in the middle of a disagreement that was putting both in a bad mood. McCoy slipped up behind Jim, in his usual spot. Daystrom didn't even spare him a glance.

"All it has done is make the required course changes and some simple turns, Doctor Daystrom," Jim said shortly. "Mister Sulu and Mister Chekov could've set that course in with their eyes closed."

"Yes, of course, they could," Daystrom said, his frustration clear. "But the idea is that they didn't have to. I assure you, you won't find it necessary to regain control of the unit after each maneuver, Captain."

"My orders are subject to my interpretation of how long the M-Five is in control. I'll run the ship in my own way if you don't mind."

Spock stepped forward reluctantly. "Captain, I am forced to agree with Doctor Daystrom. With the course information plotted into it, his computer could have brought us here as early as the navigator. In fact, it might have been a further demonstration of M-Five's capability."

"Small steps, Spock," Jim told his First Officer. "If the M-Five is as capable as you both want me to believe it is, then it'll earn its way through small steps."

"Approaching Alpha Carinae two, Captain," Chekov announced. "ETA five minutes."

"Captain," Daystrom said, "your orders at this point are not open to interpretation. You must permit the M-Five to handle the Enterprise's approach, the orbit and then let it analyze data regarding landing party recommendations.

Jim nodded his agreement. "And I'll make my own recommendations as well."

"Really Captain?" Tippet broke in from his stance near the viewscreen. He and Jacquelyn had seemed to have opted for front row seats. He looked amused. "I hardly think you'd need the practice."

"I don't think it would hurt to have comparisons, Mister Tippet," Jim replied. "Daystrom, you may activate the M-Five once again. Sulu, Chekov, prepare to release your controls. Keep a close eye on how the M-Five responds."

Daystrom wasted no time in putting the M-Five back into control. "The M-Five is now committed."

It was quiet for a few minutes, as they all watched the Enterprise achieve standard orbit around the planet. Jim had told McCoy before that they'd chosen a close, but uninhabited planet to approach for M-Five's test. They were to treat it as a new planet and were to go through the procedures of a routine scouting mission.

"Any communications, Uhura?" Jim asked.

"No, Sir," she replied, working her board. "There are no frequencies at all from the planet."

"Has the M-Five made any attempt to sweep the bands for any type of signals or communications?" Jim asked.

"No, Sir, it has not," She replied, with what McCoy thought was a tiny bit of smugness.

_Darlin' no matter where this machine ends up, I think your job is safe,_ McCoy thought, wishing he could tell her so. _You're too good at what you do for any old machine to take over. But when there comes a day when they can replace me with a computer, I'll retire. Because that means that there won't be anyone left for me to treat._

Spock, who'd returned to his science station, stood watch over his screen. "The M-Five is scanning the planet. It's reporting a class M, oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere suitable for human life. Two major land masses, a number of islands and various animal life." Spock turned to Daystrom. "I assume that in order to distinguish between animal and intelligent life, the M-Five is using the Jenkins-Wojtkowiak scale of life form distribution and movement patterns?"

"Yes, of course," Daystrom added with a distracted wave of his hand as he watched his own monitors. "With several other sub-routines as a backup."

"Captain," Scotty broke in, "The power's gone off on deck five."

"Check it out," Jim ordered. "My recommendations for the landing party is as follows. We send down a general survey party, with the instruction to be aware that there could be intelligent life. We've been surprised on that issue before," Jim admitted. "The team will consist of myself, Doctor McCoy, Astrobiologist Phillips, Geologist Rawlins and Science Officer Spock."

"M-Five, tie-in. State landing team's recommendations," Daystrom ordered.

A dry computer voice came on throughout the bridge. **'M-Five readout, planet Alpha Carinae Two. Class M, atmosphere, oxygen-nitrogen.'**

"Power's gone out on deck six now," Scotty said, clearly frustrated as he worked his panel.

**'Categorization of life form readings complete. Recommendations for general survey team. Science Officer Spock, Astrobiologist Phillips, Geologist Carstairs.'**

"Looks like we differ on the survey team," Jim said, with forced casualness. "That's only a matter of judgment."

_It left us both Jim and I out of the lineup. And he's never been happy about staying behind,_ McCoy thought. _Especially when Spock and I gang up on him. Now he's got a computer agreeing with us on that score._

"Judgement, Captain?" Tippet said with a smile. "Doesn't the computer make _logical_ selections? Daystrom, have the M-Five tell us how it picked the survey team."

Daystrom nodded and punched several buttons. "M-Five, Explanation for landing party recommendations."

**'General survey team requires the direction of a science officer. Astrobiologist Phillips has surveyed twenty-nine biologically similar planets. Geologist Carstairs served on merchant marine freighters in this area. Once visited this planet on a geology survey for a mining company.'**

"Why were the Captain and the CMO not included?" Daystrom asked.

**'Non-essential personnel."**

_Non-essential?_ McCoy thought with a huff. Jim gave him a glance that said he agreed. _Well, you can tell the M-Five's never been on a survey! Every damn planet with any life forms at all has something that bites!_

"Captain," Scotty said, sounding concerned. "I've located the source of the power shutdowns. The M-Five is turning off systems all over the ship."

Jim turned his chair to face Daystrom, who was pulling up information on his screen. "Is it malfunctioning?"

"No Captain," Daystrom said confidently after scanning his data. "The M-Five is merely shutting down power to the unoccupied areas of the ship. Those decks are living quarters and are now unoccupied."

"Doctor Daystrom," Spock said, drawing their attention. "I am not familiar with these new instruments. You are using an entirely new type of control mechanism. However, it appears to me that this unit is drawing more power than before."

"That's right. It will pull more power as it needs it. Just like a human uses more power to run than to stand still. It needs more power to function at full compacity, as does a ship."

Spock looked concerned. "Sir, the computer is not a human body, nor is it a ship. The computer processes information and relays orders. It does not use power to actually achieve the results of those orders, such as a physical entity."

"It will take just what it _needs_ ," Daystrom said shortly. "The Multitronic unit is a revolution in computer science, and behavioral differences are to be expected. I designed the neutronic elements used on your ship now, and I know they are dinosaurs when compared to the M-Five."

"Well, let's take this a step further," Jim said. "Tell it that we're ready to leave orbit and plot a course for the war games."

Daystrom did so, and for a half hour or so the bridge team watched and made notes on the M-Five's planet approach and survey. Boring. McCoy had just decided to take a coffee break when Chekov spoke up.

"Captain," Chekov announced, "Sensors are picking up a vessel paralleling our course, as yet unidentified."

"Captain," Spock added, working his science board, "We now sense _two_ vessels. One on the port bow, one on the stern. Distance, two hundred thousand kilometers, and closing.

"Any identification on them?" Jim asked Spock.

Sulu chimed in. "The M-Five unit has already identified the vessels as Federation starships Excalibur and Lexington.

McCoy noticed Tippet smiling, hand up to his mouth, watching them. _He's in on it, whatever's going on._

Spock turned to look at Jim. "We are not scheduled for war games in this area. This may be a surprise attack."

"Priority message, Captain," Uhura announced.

"On screen."

"Enterprise, this is Commodore Wesley," The Captain of the Lexington and the Flag Officer in charge of the War Games. His face filled the screen. McCoy recognized him as one of their Tactical instructors at the Academy.

_This ought to get interesting,_ McCoy thought. _He and Jim used to go at it in class all the time, with Wesley pushing for all the cadets to follow the old, tried and true ways to defend and attack and Jim arguing for variations on the themes presented. I think Wesley was one of the few who actually enjoyed butting heads with his students. Wesley could challenge Jim like few of the other instructors could. Jim always did more homework in Wesley's classes than any other, just to have the satisfaction of coming out on top once in a while._

"This is an unscheduled M-Five drill, _black_ on shields. Repeat, this is an M-Five drill, _black_ on shields. Academy rules. Enterprise, acknowledge on this frequency."

"Acknowledge, Lieutenant," Jim ordered.

Her voice was professional, but McCoy could tell she was a bit annoyed. "The M-Five has already acknowledged for us, Sir."

"Red Alert," Jim ordered.

"Black on shields?" Tippet asked as he wandered closer to Jim, watching him.

"It means that both sides are engaging without defensive shields," Jim answered. McCoy could see the tension in his shoulders. "The points of engagement are calculated on the basis of hit locations. and what damage it would do if at full power. The ship with the highest score wins."

Before Chekov could acknowledge the command, the Red Alter sirens and lights came on around the bridge.

"Captain, M-Five has already--" Checkov began.

"Yes, I see," Jim replied grimly.

Tippet was smiling again, Jacquelyn was watching them all carefully, and Daystrom stood glued to M-Five's data screen when the Lexington came within range. A small flash of light signaled the Lexington's phaser fire just a moment before it hit the Enterprise.

"Phaser hit on port deflector four, Captain," Spock reported.

"They're using phasers at one, one-hundredth power," Chekov reported. "Academy rules in play."

"Just enough to get our attention," Jim said, eyes on the screen.

"The Lexington is closing," Sulu reported.

"The M-Five is increasing speed to warp three," Checkov said.

"Turning now to one, one, two, mark five," Sulu said. "Phasers locking. Phasers firing."

"A hit on the Lexington, Captain," Checkov said excitedly. "Both volleys on the mark."

"They've would have lost maneuverability on the port side, Captain," Spock announced. "They're disengaging."

"The Excaliber is coming up behind us," Sulu reported. "Just coming within firing range. We're changing course to two, eight, mark four two. Changing attitude, forty-degrees."

"Phasers charged," Chekov added.

"We're dropping under them," Sulu said. "Excalibur's firing."

Even McCoy could tell that the Excalibur had just missed them.

"Doing a 45-degree roll."

"Phasers firing!" Chekov said gleefully.

On the screen, belly to belly, the two shots from the Enterprise raked across the bottom of the Excalibur.

_A gut shot,_ McCoy decided to watch the play of the ships on screen. _That should have hit their warp core, probably taken them out._

"Direct hits!" Chekov exclaimed.

"The Excalibur is disengaging," Spock said.

"Report on damage sustained in the mock attack," Jim said to Spock.

"Minor hit on deflector screen four. No appreciable damage."

"That was it?" Tippet said in surprise, looking disappointed.

"Most battles in space only last a few minutes, Mr. Tippet," Jim replied casually. "This was just some playful shoving, without shields and without any real power, to test the M-Five's response time and its choice of targets on the enemy vessel. It'll be a bit longer with a whole fleet after us when the war games start."

"Well, how did it do?" Tippet asked Spock.

"The ship reacted more rapidly than the helmsman could have maneuvered her. Tactics, deployment of weapons, all indicate in immense sophistication in computer control."

Daystrom, who had come over from his M-Five screen, smiled happily. "Just as predicted, Mr. Tippet, Captain."

"It does sound like we have a winner, here," Tippet said happily.

"I wouldn't celebrate too early," Jim warned them both. He stood and shook his head. "We've still got several tests left before we know just how well the M-Five works."

"Incoming message, Captain," Uhura said behind them.

"Visual," Jim ordered, then turned to the screen.

Commodore Wesley's face filled the screen again. "USS Enterprise, from starships Lexington and Excalibur. Both ships report simulated hits in sufficient quantity and location to justify awarding the surprise engagement to the Enterprise."

"Secure from general quarters," Jim ordered. Checkov did so, and the lighting on the bridge lost its Red Alert glow.

"Our compliments to the M-Five unit, Doctor Daystrom," Wesley continued. "And our regards to Captain Dunsel. Wesley out."

All the crew of the Enterprise froze, recognizing the dig from Wesley.

Shocked, McCoy glanced at Jim, who looked as stunned as McCoy felt.

After a moment, Jim took a breath, then turned toward the lifts, his face hard and movements tense. "We have six hours before we reach the location for the war games," Jim threw over his shoulder, not looking at anyone. His voice clipped but controlled. "I suggest everyone take a break. Use the time well."

McCoy followed. As the lift doors shut behind them, McCoy could hear Tippet ask, "Who the hell is Captain _Dunsel_?"

McCoy was just glad Jim wasn't around to hear Spock's answer.

_I'd forgotten that old term,_ McCoy thought with disgust. _I can't believe Wesley just insulted Jim like that, telling him he serves no useful purpose! What a dick!_

"He was just trying to rile you up, Jim," McCoy said quietly. "You remember how he liked to rile you up during his tactical classes. Said you did your best work when you were pushed into a corner, and it was his job to do the pushing."

Jim didn't say anything while they walked the ghostly, empty halls back to their quarters. In front of their door, Jim turned and looked at McCoy, his face serious. "You stay here. Please. I just... I just need to be alone for a while."

McCoy wanted to argue, to tell Jim that he never had to be alone. _Sometimes, being alone is really what we need to get our thoughts together. He knows where I am if he really needs me. I just need to trust him on this._

McCoy scanned Jim's face, then nodded and walked into the cabin by himself.

Once inside, as the doors slid shut, McCoy looked around at the mess they'd not had time to address. Everything seemed to be happening so fast that they'd never really settled back in. He walked over to his banzai and gave the clear case a light tap, as if letting the small tree know he was home. Jim's guitar was back safe in its case, in the corner. He hadn't had a lot of time to practice lately, but Jim was getting pretty good with it. Everything else was pushed and shoved out of the way or back into drawers.

_While he's marshaling his thoughts, maybe I can clear mine with an old-fashioned house cleaning. Then, maybe, when he gets back, he'll feel more at home and less like a man in danger of losing it._

McCoy turned and started for the bedroom, ready to turn it inside out and make it theirs again.

 

***

Jim turned away from their cabin door, grateful that McCoy didn't argue or fuss with him over this. As much as he loved his husband, there were times when he needed to be by himself, to try to understand how he felt about things. And as empty as the Enterprise was, he now had a lot of space to be alone in.

_Maybe it's time for a personal tour,_ he decided. He headed back to the lift and went up a level, to the center of the saucer part of the ship. Then he took a corridor that led to the outer hallway, one that passed the gym and various lounges that had the best views at the front of the ship. It was as far forward as anyone could go. A lot further forward than the bridge. He entered a small lounge that he knew was dead center of the saucer, giving the ultimate view of the space before them. The room was dim, lights set to maximize the view outside of the transparent materials used from floor to ceiling. Walking in was like walking to the edge of a cliff, where the floor seemed to drop off into the vastness of black, cold, empty space.

He walked up to the clear wall and placed a hand on it. Even though the metal was a neutral temperature, Jim imagined he could feel the coldness of space just on the other side.

"Lights, off," he ordered.

The room went completely dark, except for the stars. Indulging himself, he did what he sometimes wanted to do on the bridge. He stepped up close to the viewport and leaned his head against it, just to be as close as he could be to space without needing a space suit. So that there was no reflection of himself, or the room, in his view.

The center mass of stars didn't get any closer. But Jim felt like they did. In warp, the stars always burst out of that center spot, as if they were born there and were escaping their cradle. The streaks of light they left as they passed to the sides made Jim feel like he was on his back, looking up and watching them fall down to him, like rain that made runnels down the side of the ship. As if the Enterprise was always flying up and into something important, yet always just out of reach.

Jim had done that on some hot summer nights in Iowa, when he could sneak away from the house. Lie on his back and watch the stars slowly move across the night. There were so many nights after Sam had run away where Jim had taken off into the darkness to escape his step-father's anger. At first, he'd just sit in the yard and watch the stars. Then when that wasn't enough he'd run down the street, to the park, to try to escape the light pollution, so he could see the stars better. Then, older, he'd learned to hack into Frank's car and take it out of town, to where the hills hid the lights of the local population. He'd find a field or patch of wood where he could see the sky. When Frank had figured it out, he'd blocked Jim from taking his car, threatening to actually have him arrested for theft this time. So, Jim just stole others, in most cases successfully returning them before they were missed. But only after he'd made his trips out of town, to find just the right spot to stare at the night sky and feel it staring back.

Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly lonely, he'd wonder if his father could see him from out there, somewhere.

He did, of course, get caught a few times. Most people thought he was just a car freak and wanted to race them. Other's thought he just liked stealing things. Some said they thought he was a vandal. They certainly had the example of his destroying Frank's prized 1966 Corvette to fall back on. Those who'd noticed where his real attentions lie, like the child psychologists that had been assigned to him after his arrests, thought he was looking for his mother, up there, in the dark. And their suggestions to her to come back and help deal with her children, or take them with her, had fallen on deaf ears. Her's as well as Frank's.

Jim had never told anyone that it wasn't the night itself he'd wanted, or the thrill of stealing the vehicles and returning them before sunrise. He'd just had this feeling that if he could watch the stars long enough, hard enough. He'd _know_.

What it was he'd finally know, he hadn't figured out. And it wasn't until he'd sat in the Captain's chair and, for the first time, set the Enterprise on its way toward a new adventure that he realized he'd been focusing on the wrong thing.

_It's not about the answers,_ he'd thought, as the Enterprise sailed out under his command for the first time. _We'll never get all of them. It's the_ asking _of the questions that's important. Isn't that what the Enterprise is supposed to do? To find strange new worlds? New civilizations? To ask the questions for all of the intelligent species that can't get out here on their own quite yet? To meet those who are asking their own questions and struggling to answer them?_

_Can we really all step back and let a machine do that for us?_

He honestly didn't think so.

_How can the answers mean anything to us, if we don't struggle to find them for ourselves? Isn't figuring out how and what to ask part of the process we_ need _to keep moving forward?_

The door to the lounge swished open. Reflected on the view port, backlit from the hallway, he could see Spock standing at the entrance.

"Pardon my intrusion, Captain," Spock said. To Jim, he sounded unsure and tentative of his welcome.

"No, it's okay. Come in, Spock," Jim said with a smile at Spock's reflection. "Come in and enjoy the view."

Spock stepped in and the room went completely black again when the door shut behind him. Spock came up beside Jim, but Jim's eyes never left the stars. They were both quiet for a moment. Finally, Spock broke the silence.

"I believe, Captain, that the Commodore's 'Dunsel' remark was completely unwarranted," Spock said stiffly.

"He's scared," Jim said, the words coming out of his mouth before he'd even thought about them. But they felt true. "He's afraid he'll be the next 'Dunsel'. I don't think he's been very happy since they promoted him to desk duty." Jim sighed and shook his head. "Seems like so many of us that are at home here, on ships, never really get comfortable on land again. I know, from taking his classes at the Academy, he was never really happy teaching. Now that he's back out in space, in command on not only one ship, but a fleet, he could lose it again if the M-Five tests out. I think calling me Dunsel was more a warning, than an insult."

"It does make one ponder one's future, when a new breakthrough comes along that could make them redundant," Spock agreed.

"I don't think you need to worry about _your_ job," Jim said with a smile. "You can always get a job at a research project somewhere, planetside. Like Bones can get a job as a doctor practically anywhere."

"And yet," Spock pointed out quietly, "neither he nor I have chosen to be planetside, doing research or healing."

Jim smiled. "True. If this M-Five is really the next step for us, we all could find our futures going new directions. But I don't think _all_ my reservations about the project are based on that fear. At least, not totally."

"You have a _'gut feeling'_ ," Spock said.

"Yes, I do," Jim admitted. "There's just... something wrong with this whole setup. And I don't know yet what it is that's off. And I'm afraid that by the time I find out, it'll be too late."

"I have yet to see any real problems with the device," Spock admitted. "But I have to admit that while computers make excellent and efficient servants, I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, starships also run on loyalty to one man. And nothing can replace it, or him."

Surprised at the compliment, Jim turned to look at Spock. He hadn't realized how much he'd needed to hear someone other than his husband say that to him. Not that McCoy would lie to him about something like that, but McCoy was a bit biased in Jim's favor.

"And I've always meant it, when I've said that a Captain is only as good as his crew," Jim replied. "And I've been blessed with the best. We make a great team."

"I believe we do, Captain."

They were both silent for a few minutes, Jim enjoying the stars.

_I wonder if he enjoys them as we do. Vulcan's are said to have a high regard for natural beauty. There are few things more beautiful than a star._

"Well," Jim said with a sigh, "I should check in with Scotty. If there's something going to go wrong, he'll probably--"

Suddenly, the comm by the door chirped.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk," Uhura's voice boomed through the darkened room.

"Lights up," Jim ordered as he trotted over to the wall comm and tapped it on. "Kirk here."

"We have another contact, Captain," Uhura said calmly. "Sulu reports a large, slow-moving vessel off to the side, Sir. Unidentified."

"We have not been informed of any further drills," Spock said.

"Spock and I are on our way."

A few minutes later, they both arrived on the bridge. Spock headed for the science station.

Uhura turned to them, her headset in her ear. "Captain, there's no response to any of our signals, but there is an auto-ping coming from the vessel."

Spock scanned his screens. "The M-Five has identified her, Captain. The _Wooden_. Listed in Starfleet Registry as an old-style, unmanned, ore freighter."

"Coming into visual range," Sulu added, hands flying over his station. "The deflector shields just came on."

"Speed is increasing to warp three, Captain," Chekov added.

_We shouldn't be heading toward it. There's no reason to approach it._

Jim turned to Uhura. "Get Daystrom. Have him disengage the M-Five unit." He turned to Chekov and Sulu. "Cut speed to warp one. Sulu, go to course one, one, three mark seven. I want that ship given a wide berth."

A moment later, McCoy came off the lift and went to his usual spot at Jim's shoulder.

"She's not responding," Sulu warned as he fought the controls.

"Going to warp four, Sir," Chekov added, sounding frustrated.

Jim hit the ship's comm. "Scotty, reverse engines. Slow us down."

"Reverse thrusts will not engage, Captain. Manual override isn't working either."

The lift door swished open, and Jim saw Daystrom, Tippet and Jacquelyn hurry onto the bridge.

"We're having no effect on any of the M-Five controls, Captain."

"Oh, great. No off switch," McCoy growled.

Jim swiveled to see Daystrom better. "Doctor Daystrom, the controls are locked. We can't disengage the computer. Release control to us, now."

"The photon torpedoes are locking on target!" Chekov warned. "Full power, sir!"

"Daystrom! Release controls!"

The shriek of the torpedoes going off drew everyone's attention to the screen. Three bright streaks flared away from the Enterprise, toward the freighter.

"Three Away!" Chekov announced breathlessly.

"Damn it!" Jim cursed under his breath, knowing that he could only watch as the three met their target.

The freighter glowed brightly at three spots, fore, center, and aft of the ship. Then the ship broke apart, creating its own fireworks as various electrical and flammable materials took to flame for as long as oxygen fed them. The various pieces separated as they were forced by the blasts into different trajectories.

"All systems returning to normal," Spock announced.

"Nothing normal about that!" McCoy declared angrily.

"I do agree, Doctor," Spock said with a lift of his eyebrow. He then looked at Jim, concern on his face. "The actions of the M-Five were not logical, Captain. The computer systems database clearly shows that such a fighter has no weapons, is magnitudes slower than a Starship, and as such cannot be a danger to us. There was no basis for an attack upon it."

Jim walked over to Daystrom. "Doctor, _disengage_ the M-Five."

Daystrom looked up at Jim sheepishly. "There appears to be some defect in the control panel."

"There certainly does!" McCoy exclaimed. "That thing just went out of its way to destroy an ore freighter!"

Tippet stepped up to Jim and Daystrom, his hands up as if to calm them all down. "Fortunately, it was only a robot ship, Captain. I'm sure we can make whatever necessary reparations--"

Jim turned on him, trying to hold in his anger. "It _shouldn't_ have destroyed anything. There might just have easily been a _crew_ on that ship."

"In which case, you'd be guilty of murder," McCoy added in anger.

"Don't exaggerate," Jacquelyn snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at McCoy. "You don't know that the M-Five would have responded that way with a manned ship."

"Enough," Jim said to them both. He turned back to Daystrom. "Do what you need to do to disengage the computer, Doctor Daystrom. This experiment is over."

"Captain!" Tippet protested. "You can't--"

"I can and I will," Jim said with finality. "Uhura? Contact Starfleet Command. Tell them we're breaking off the M-Five tests and returning to the space station. After picking up our crew, we'll be taking the project team back to Earth."

"You don't have the authority!" Tippet complained.

"You can fight that out with Starfleet, later," Jim said. "Doctor Daystrom?"

"I can't do that here," Daystrom admitted, looking a bit lost. "I'll need to do that in engineering."

"Then come with me, Doctor. The M-Five is out of a job." Jim turned, ignoring Tippet and Jacquelyn's glare and walked with Spock and Daystrom to the lift.

He couldn't pull the plug on the M-Five fast enough.

Jim, Spock, and Daystrom headed toward engineering. The trip took less time than usual, with the hallways clear of crew and Jim's anxious stride. Scotty must have been told they were on their way, because he was waiting for them at the door. Counting Scotty, three of his six allotted staff were in the room waiting. Scotty looked as anxious as Jim felt.

"Mr. Scott," Jim began, "Doctor Daystrom is here to disengage the M-Five."

"Yes, Sir," Scotty said with clear relief. He and Daystrom walked over to the main control panel of the M-Five. The size of a large cabinet, the M-Five was connected to various ship's system through crude conduits that snaked around the floor, into vents and back into the engineering area. Like a plant that had grown roots, it seemed to have dug in to stay.

Scotty reached out to flip a switch, Daystrom reaching for another, when a loud crack filled the air and Scotty was flung backward. Jim and Spock rushed toward him, Daystrom freezing in place.

"Computer! McCoy to Engineering!" Jim called as he bent down to examine Scotty, who was laid out on the floor. "Scotty! Are you okay?"

"Well, that was a bit of a shock," Scotty said weakly as he struggled to sit up. "Pun intended. I think I'm fine." Scotty waved off Jim's hand, struggling to get up unaided.

"Captain," Spock said, holding an engineering tricorder, "The M-Five is now surrounded by a force field."

"What?" Jim stood with Scotty and turned to glare at Daystrom.

"That is not my doing," Daystrom insisted.

McCoy burst through the door, Tippet and Jacquelyn breathless behind him.

"Scotty," Jim told McCoy, who nodded and walked toward the engineer. Then he turned back to Daystrom. "All right, Doctor, you built this thing. How do we turn it off?"

"This exercise is a trial for the M-Five. A shakedown," Daystrom explained. "We must expect some minor glitches, but nothing that can't be tweaked to work better."

"How do we turn it _off_?" Jim asked again.

Daystrom looked uncomfortable. "Let me work with it, Captain, so we won't need to turn it off. I can--"

"Doctor Daystrom, that machine is to be turned off. Do so now." Jim glared at him.

Daystrom shook his head. "I'm not sure we can do that once the force field is on. If we interrupt the power source, it might divert power from its force field to other resources. Then we could reach the data screen."

Jim looked over at Scotty and McCoy. McCoy nodded to Jim to let him know that Scotty was all right, but he still looked shaky.

"Mr. Scott. Can we interrupt the power source?"

"Aye, Sir," Scotty replied. He then nodded to one of his crew, who took one of the installation tools Daystrom had brought and walked over to the open junction. "Lieutenant Briggs will disconnect the flow here, at the base. The M-Five base --"

A loud boom filled the air and most of Lieutenant Briggs was dissipated into a cloud of burnt flesh.

Jacquelyn screamed. McCoy raced to the body, as Scotty tried to follow. Jim went to grabbed Scotty's arm to keep him back.

There wasn't enough left of Briggs for anything to be done. McCoy looked up at Jim and shook his head.

"Everyone out, except Daystrom, Spock and Scotty!" Jim ordered. "Bones! Take Tippet and Cunningham to MedBay.

"Yes, Sir," several answered his order.

They left the room as a group, Scotty looking sick and shaken, Jacquelyn and Tippet looking shocked. McCoy had Tippet by the arm, who had his other arm around Jacquelyn. She had started to sob.

Jim was livid, sick with the smell of burnt flesh. "What happened here?" he demanded of Daystrom. "Why is my engineer dead?"

"That wasn't a _deliberate_ act," Daystrom said quickly. "It needed more power, so sought to increase the flow. The crewman just... got in the way."

Jim tried to unclench his fists, but couldn't. "And will we _all_ be in the way, at some point or another?" He ground out.

"Captain," Spock said, his tone grim. "The M-Five is now drawing power directly from the warp engines, tapping the matter-antimatter reserves directly. It has re-routed its power supply through the ship, by-passing the junctions that were originally put into place." Spock looked at him, his expression grave. "And it has done this on its own."

_Without any input from Daystrom? What kind of computer can think like that and move on its own without any instructions from humans? Is it intelligent?_

Scotty, looking angry and sick looked away from Brigg's body and to Jim. "It'll now have virtually unlimited power, Captain."

Jim looked over at the M-Five console. "Let's take this to the Ready Room. Scotty?"

Jim nodded at Scotty and said softly. "I'll have McCoy and one of your crewmen collect Brigg's body and take it to MedBay. He'll be taken care of."

Scotty nodded. "Aye, Sir."

As Jim let the four of them to the Ready Room, he had the creeping sensation that the hallways weren't as empty as they seemed to be.

_If that thing is thinking on its own, then there may be no place on the ship it can't get to, to see and hear us. Let's hope it's not that far gone yet._

 

***

 

McCoy sighed as he pushed closed the door of the ship's morgue. He made sure it was locked and the atmosphere set to keep what was left of the body frozen. It had been an unpleasant experience to bag up what was left of Briggs, but McCoy hadn't shied away from it. He'd placed the body in the bag himself and had let the engineer who'd come to help him leave as soon as they'd gotten Brigg's body on a gurney. It had been a solemn, lonely walk through the empty halls. McCoy felt like the last thing he could do for those in the crew was to make sure their remains were treated with respect and handled with dignity. One day, someone would do that for him, he hoped. Soon, he'd write up the death certificate and help Jim and Scotty write the letter of condolences to Brigg's family. The deceased would want his family treated with respect as well.

_Too many deaths these last few years. On the ship, on Earth, let alone Vulcan. Even one is too many. May this one be the last._

Tippet and Jacquelyn stood in a corner in MedBay. Tippet stood close to her, talking softly. Jacquelyn, her hand over her mouth, had stopped sobbing and was nodding to something Tippet was saying. They both looked upset and shaken, with Tippet trying to hide it.

_So, what am I supposed to do with them? Have they never seen anyone die before? Lucky them. No use ignoring them, so I may as well act the good host, I guess. I never was very good at babysitting adults._

He walked up to them. Jacquelyn noticed him first. She looked at him as if he were a stranger. He could live with that. Tippet, the energetic, fast-on-his-feet head of a billion-dollar organization now looked a lot shaken up and a little lost.

"How are you both doing?" McCoy asked. "Maybe you should come to my office and sit down. Let me get you something hot to drink."

"Yes. Thank you," Tippet said sincerely.

McCoy led them to his office and sat them down in the visitor's chairs, then took their coffee orders. Tippet looked like he wanted something with more kick, but McCoy wouldn't have given him a stiff drink even if he'd had any around. He didn't want either of them tipsy, or getting smashed, even though they probably thought that would help. With some things, it was better to process the ordeal rather than try to bury the normal reactions.

McCoy sat down behind his desk, forgoing any drink of his own.

"Mr. Tippet, Miss Cunningham," McCoy began, using his 'professional' voice. "I'd like to ask you about Doctor Daystrom if you don't mind."

"Sure," Tippet responded. "Although, I don't know if I can explain this new computer process to you any better than your Science Officer could. And I have _no_ idea how to shut it off."

McCoy shook his head. "That's not the kind of information I'm looking for. How long have you known Daystrom?"

Tippet shrugged. "Personally, not all that long. We've been backing his "M" projects for several years now. But I can't say I've talked to him very much outside those mandatory meetings to discuss the results he'd come up with. The man doesn't like to talk about his failures and doesn't like his work to be interrupted. Why do you ask?"

McCoy tapped the top of his desk, where his datascreen lay hidden until called for. "I've pulled up the biographical information that Starfleet has on him."

Tippet eyebrows went up, as if McCoy had just admitted something confidential.

"Not a _secret_ file," McCoy said with a huff. "As far as _I_ know, Starfleet doesn't spy on anyone. And if they did, they wouldn't tell _me_. But they do collect public data that we can access over subspace when outside the normal Earth channels. And all I can find on Daystrom is that he's a genius."

"Genius is an understatement," Jacquelyn threw in, holding her cup in both hands. McCoy could see she was still shaky. "At the age of twenty-four, he made the duotronic breakthrough that won him the Nobel and Zee-Magnes prizes."

"In his early twenties. That's over a quarter of a century ago," McCoy reminded them.

Jacquelyn eyed him, clearly annoyed. "Isn't that _enough_ for one lifetime?"

"Maybe that's the trouble," McCoy said. "Where do you go from up? You publish articles, you give lectures, then spend your life trying to recapture past glory."

Tippet shrugged. "It's difficult, but he's got a new system that tops his old one. He'll be basking in _new_ glory soon enough."

"Will he? What about the other versions, one through four?" McCoy asked.

"Genius doesn't work on command," Jacquelyn said sharply. "Did Einstein, Kazanga, or Sitar of Vulcan produce new and revolutionary theories on a regular schedule? You simply can't say _'today, I will be brilliant'_. No matter how long it took, he came out with multitronics and the M-Five."

_So defensive of him, and it,_ McCoy thought as he studied his ex-wife. _This is more than just disliking me. Was investing in Daystrom's project her recommendation? Her baby? If so, that would give her another reason to be here with Tippet, beyond being his girlfriend. There's no telling how many credits she's talked Tippet into investing in Daystrom's project. Not that I think he couldn't see the credit signs on it if Daystrom pulled through. But she'd want to be here to see Daystrom achieve his crowning glory and make sure she got her due credit for arranging it._

McCoy nodded at her. "Yes, he did. And he owes TippSum industries for their patronage. But Spock says it's not working logically, and Daystrom won't let Spock or Scotty near it."

"So, what are you saying? That he got desperate for a success and tampered with it?" Tippet asked with annoyance.

"Or cut corners. Or did something he shouldn't have," McCoy said, shaking his head. "He talks about the M-Five like it's a child that's throwing a tantrum or misbehaving. He's making excuses for it. He's not treating it like a tool that needs tweaking."

"I think, _Doctor_ ," Jacquelyn said as she stood, placing her empty cup on McCoy's desk with a frown, "that you need to go back to school. Psychology was never your strong suit. Now, if you don't mind, I need to find a 'fresher."

"In the main room, the door near the hallway for long-term care," McCoy told her. "Or, if you'd rather, there's a larger and more comfortable fresher down at the end of that hallway, in the Medic's changing room. Take your pick, there's no wait for either."

Jacquelyn gave him a tight nod, then practically stomped out of McCoy's office.

Once she left, both men were quiet for a moment before Tippet leaned forward.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Doctor?" Tippet asked, his expression serious.

_Here it comes,_ McCoy thought, feeling trapped. _What's he going to want to know first? How the hell I could abuse her, like Jac probably told him I did? About the baby that wasn't mine? If she's even told him that much._

"You and the Captain... you seem to be very happy," Tippet said, surprising McCoy that he wasn't asking about him and Jac. "Although, Jacquelyn would remind me that you two are still in your honeymoon phase, which is true. And I take it that your divorce with Jacquelyn didn't go smoothly. _If_ what she tells me is true." McCoy heard the stress on the _'if'_. "As you probably know, hell, everyone seems to, my own first marriage ended in a messy divorce as well. What do you think is the difference between your first marriage and your second?"

The answer seemed to mean a lot to Tippet, who watched McCoy closely.

"Mutual respect," McCoy said the first thing that came to his mind. "Learning the hard way about what I was really longing for in a relationship. Shared life experiences. Friendship. Jacquelyn's told you we were friends as kids? Dated through high school?"

Tippet nodded.

"I _thought_ we were friends." McCoy sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I was... we both were, too young to know what that means. We had the chemistry for the sex, but not so much for the friendship. Jim and I were close friends from the first day we met and we sort of... wove our futures together based on that alone. It wasn't until later that the 'in love' part came. With Jac it never--"

"Jack?"

"Her initials, and what I grew up calling her," McCoy said with a shrug. "With Jac, I thought she was smart, sweet, sexy as hell and would make a good wife. I _did_ love her. A lot. But you can love someone to the ends of the Earth and beyond and not be able to live with them. And as we got older and more set in our ways, I guess we both grew apart. Found we wanted different things out of life. And I... well, I think we both confused lust with love. When the chemistry wore off there wasn't anything left between us but the memory of our childhood friendship. But we weren't kids anymore. The marriage was a mistake all the way around. With Jim... well, I'd have kept him in my life any way he'd let me. He became my best friend, more like family, without even half trying. When we finally did get together, there wasn't any doubt on either side about what we wanted. It was an adult choice, backed up by shared experiences and a mature point of view. Lessons learned the hard way."

_And it was a hard lesson in learning to listen to my Pa. He never did like Jac as my date, or my girlfriend, let alone as my wife. Somehow, he knew it wasn't going to end well. He could see it when I couldn't. Damned if I don't wish I was half as smart as he is. It would have saved me and Jac a lot of heartaches._

"You've thought about it a lot. It shows," Tippet said with a nod, then smiled slightly. "It's taken me a while to figure out what went wrong with my first marriage. I'm still not sure why it fell apart. And Jacquelyn... well, she doesn't like you at all, you know. And it's still been, what? Over seven years since the divorce?"

"About that."

"She's hardly talked about her first marriage in the year I've known her. But once that arrest warrant got leaked to the press, her failed marriage was all she could talk... or should I say rant... about. I think she was scared of something," Tippet admitted. "So, there's something still there for her. I'm not sure she even knows what it is."

"Nostalgia, probably," McCoy admitted. "I think she's probably just missing the dreams we once had for a future together, rather than the past we did have. I can't say I don't feel the same way. After all, there were some really good times for us back then. It's just hard to remember them after the breakup we had."

"Well, whatever happened between you two, I'm sorry it went south. And honestly, while I have strong feelings for her, I'm not sure that she's someone I'm with for the right reasons. I'm not sure I can really trust her. Too many times I've caught her in a lie, or an exaggeration. I sometimes get the feeling that she's acting. Like she's trying too hard to be what I _want_ in a life-mate, rather than letting me see who she really is."

_You don't know the half of it,_ McCoy thought. _And it's really not my place to tell you. After seven years apart, we're no longer qualified to say we know who the other person really is. Maybe she'll surprise us both._

"But," Tippet said as he relaxed back into his chair. "Thanks for answering. It's nice to know that there's always the possibility for a happy ending, even after one relationship's been a train wreck. I hope you and your Captain stay happy together."

"Thank you," McCoy said, meaning it.

The comm buzzed. "Bridge to McCoy," Jim called.

McCoy hit the switch. "McCoy here."

"We've got a plan. Bring your MedKit and head to corridor seven, level six, just in case."

"On my way," McCoy answered. The medkit was on his waist until this whole assignment was over, so that was one less stop he'd have to make. He headed for the door. "You and Jacquelyn stay here, where it's safe."

Tippet didn't answer him. He just nodded at Jacquelyn as she was heading back to his office. She looked at him suspiciously, which he ignored.

Time to get back to work.

 

***

 

 

_This may be a bad idea, including him in this,_ Jim thought. Daystrom had been arguing with him ever since he and Spock had come up with a new plan. Now, Scotty and Spock were up in the jeffries tube, getting the system ready to make the switch. _The man just can't see how dangerous this machine has become! It's like he's blinded himself to its faults. Someone has died, and he still can't see the danger._

"No! No, no, no, you can't take control from the M-Five!" Daystrom insisted, just as McCoy came around the corner in a trot.

"What are you planning to do?" McCoy asked with concern, looking up the tube to see Spock and Scotty deep into the circuits.

"Mister Scott is ready to apply the circuit disrupter," Jim replied. "As he does so, Spock will trip the manual override into control."

"We are ready, Captain," Spock called.

"I can work with it!" Daystrom protested to Jim, acting jittery and frustrated. He moved to stand in front of the jeffries tube. "I just need some time and _no_ interference."

" _Now_ , Mr. Spock," Jim raised his voice, so Spock could hear him.

Jim held his breath, feeling on edge as the seconds ticked by. Finally, he heard Scotty's voice echo down the tube.

"Manual override is in control, Captain!"

Jim walked over to a wall comm and called the bridge. "Mr. Sulu?"

"Here, Sir."

"We've got helm and navigational control. Turn us around. Have Mr. Checkov plot and implement a course back to the space station. Report back to me."

"Aye, Sir."

Jim waited anxiously by the comm and was joined by Spock and Scotty. A minute later, Sulu called back.

"Sir! Helm doesn't respond. Navigational controls are still locked in by the M-Five."

Spock leaned in to answer. "Mr. Chekov, go to the engineering station. Examine the H-two-seven-nine elements, also the G-nine-five systems."

"Aye, Sir."

Another minute or two passed.

"All indicators are dark," Chekov announced.

"Understood," Spock replied. He turned to Jim. "It appears that we've been doing what used to be called _'pursuing a wild goose'_ , Captain. M-Five has routed helm and navigational controls, bypassing this primary system."

"But it was still active!" Scotty protested. "I ken a live system when I see one."

"I believe that when M-Five discovered our tampering, it rerouted the controls, leaving this one active by simply sending through an electronic impulse at regular intervals."

"Decoyed," McCoy said, shaking his head. "It wanted us to waste our time."

"Spock? What is it doing that it would want us distracted?" Jim asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

"Unknown," Spock admitted.

Jim turned to Daystrom, who had stood apart, watching. He now looked both sheepish and a bit proud at the same time.

"Doctor," Jim said striding over to him. "I want answers. You've said the M-Five is a new approach to computers. What is that new approach, exactly?"

"It does seem to behave with almost self-aware patterns," Spock added, as Daystrom seemed to hesitate.

"Yes, quite right, Mr. Spock. You see, one of the arguments against computers controlling ships was that they couldn't think like men." Daystrom smiled. "I've developed a method of impressing human engrams upon the computer circuits. The relays are not unlike the synapse of the human brain. M-Five _thinks_ , Captain."

Jim felt a chill at Daystrom's smile, as if an inhuman object could really think like a human and make the same judgments as a human did. _Human engrams? Is it self-aware, or just following a different sort of programming, one that will make it harder to follow or anticipate?_

The comm chimed and Uhura's voice followed. She sounded tense. "Bridge to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Sir, Sensors are picking up four Federation starships. The M-Five is altering course to intercept."

"The war games," Spock said.

"But the M-Five doesn't know it's a game, does it?" McCoy asked with concern.

"No. And those ships don't know that this is M-Five's game," Jim said, already moving to the lift. "Let's get up there!"

When he got to the bridge, with Spock and McCoy following, he saw the four ships forming the initial attack formation. Tippet and Jacquelyn were there as well, but Jim didn't have time to worry about their safety. Uhura was at her station, trying to make contact with the Lexington.

"Sir," she said as he took his chair, "I can't raise them. M-Five is blocking all frequencies, including the automatic distress beacon." Suddenly, she turned to her station. "Wait! I'm getting an audio signal from the Lexington."

"Put it on."

Commodore Wesley's face filled the bridge's vid screen. "Enterprise from USS Lexington. This is an M-Five drill. Repeat. This is an M-Five drill. Acknowledge."

"The M-Five is acknowledging, Captain," Uhura said, her voice tinged with frustration.

Jim turned to Daystrom, who had come up to the bridge on his own and was standing near the useless M-Five station. "Does the M-Five understand that this is only a drill?"

"Of course," Daystrom said. "It was programmed to understand, Captain. The ore ship was a miscalculation. An accident."

"Sir, deflector shield just came on. Speed is increasing to warp four," Sulu announced.

"Captain!" Chekov exclaimed. "Phasers locking on lead ship. Power at _full_ strength."

"Full?" Kirk asked with dread.

"They're unshielded!" McCoy said. "If that thing cuts loose on them--"

"Spock! Can you stop this?"

"Negative," Spock said. "Attack force closing rapidly, breaking formation."

As Jim saw the flashes of light on the screen, Chekov announced, "Phasers firing!"

"At hit on the Lexington," Spock announced.

"My God!" McCoy said under his breath, as he stood near Jim's chair. Jim slapped his chair arm in frustration.

"Estimate damage, Spock," Jim ordered.

"We're turning, Captain," Sulu said.

"A hit in engineering," Spock replied. "Possible damage to her impulse engines. She's still maneuverable on warp drive."

"Captain, you have to do something!" Tippet, off in a corner with Jacquelyn, looked and sounded panicked.

"Shut up or leave!" Jim snapped. He didn't have time for them. A thought flickered that he should have McCoy take them off the bridge, but he might need him. "Daystrom!"

Jim turned to find Daystrom watching the vid screen with horror, apparently having given up on stopping his invention.

"Daystrom!" Jim shouted again. "Snap out of it! Find a way to stop that machine!"

Daystrom didn't seem to hear him. Jim saw McCoy head Daystrom's way.

"We're firing again," Chekov warned, just seconds before the shots left the ship.

"A direct hit on the Excalibur," Spock reported.

"Closing on the Lexington again, sir. The Hood and Potemkin are moving back." Sulu worked his board like a fiend, but Jim could tell that nothing was responding.

"Phasers firing!"

"Daystrom!" Jim tried again to get Daystrom's attention. The man was still staring at the vid screen, McCoy holding his arm. McCoy hissed something to him and Daystrom blinked as if he were waking up.

"Daystrom, there has to be a way to get to the M-Five," Jim insisted.

"There isn't," Daystrom said with a shake of his head. "It's fully protected now."

"That should be true," Spock added. "If the M-Five thinks it's under attack, it will have all possible defenses online. It is a human mind amplified by the instantaneous relays possible in a computer."

"Contact with the Lexington, Captain," Uhura announced.

"On screen."

Commodore Wesley's stunned and furious face appeared on the screen. "Kirk! Have you gone mad? We have almost 60 _dead_ between us! What the hell are you trying to prove? Break off the attack! That's an order!

"Uhura?" Kim asked, hoping against all odds that she had found a way through M-Five's block on their communications system.

She shook her head, sorrow and frustration on her face as her fingers danced over her board. "I can't!"

"Kirk!" Wesley yelled from the screen. "Why don't you answer?! Stand _down_!"

Jim pushed himself out of his chair and rounded on Daystrom. "There's your murder charges, Daystrom. _Deliberate_. _Calculated_. It's _killed_ men and women! Crewmates! And now there are four _starships_ full of people in danger."

"It misunderstood," Daystrom said, his voice low and apologetic. "I don't know how to stop it. I really _don't_."

"Excalibur is maneuvering away, Sir," Sulu said angrily. "We're increasing speed and setting a course to follow."

"Phasers on full!"

_Why can't I stop this? Why can't I think of anything? There has to be a way!_

Then, a stray thought pulled at him.

" _Whose_ engrams?" he demanded of Daystrom. " _Whose_ engrams did you imprint on the M-Five's circuits?"

Daystrom blinked. "Why, mine, of course."

"Of _course_ ," McCoy, still holding on to Daystrom's arm, muttered darkly.

"The computer tie-in. You've talked to it before. It knows you. Trusts you," Jim said.

"Captain," Uhura broke in. "I'm getting the Lexington again. I was able to tap into their message to Starfleet Command, Sir."

"Good work!" Jim said, turning to the screen.

Wesley, still clearly furious, was addressing the screen, but not Jim or the Enterprise. "Both ships damaged in an unprovoked attack, against the rules of engagement. Captain Harris and First Officer dead. We're still finding casualties. The Lexington has taken damage, and has lost the ability to maneuver. The Enterprise refuses to answer and is continuing attack. I still have an effective battle force and believe the only way to stop the Enterprise is to destroy her. Request permission to proceed. Wesley out."

Jim heard the gasps from Tippet and Jacquelyn. The rest of the crew didn't react.

_We've all knew it was coming. They have to do what they can to save themselves._

"But... they can't do that!" Daystrom protested. "They'll destroy the M-Five!"

"Then _talk_ to it," Jim ordered, clenching his fists to stop himself from shaking sense into the man. "You can _save_ it if you can get it to stand down. Stop the attack."

"I... I can do that. I'm its creator. It will listen." Daystrom went to Spock's station. Jim and McCoy followed. "M-Five, tie-in!"

**"M-Five."** The computer's voice echoed across the bridge.

Daystrom took a deep breath, centering himself. "This is... this is Daystrom. Acknowledge."

**"Acknowledged."**

"Who am I?" Daystrom asked.

**"Daystrom, Richard. Originator of comptronic, duotronic systems. Born-"**

"Stop." Daystrom ordered. "M-Five, your attack on the ship is _wrong_. It's a mistake. You _must_ break off the attack."

McCoy leaned in close enough to whisper to Jim. "I don't like the sound of him, Jim."

"Just hope the M-Five likes the sound," Jim whispered back.

**"Programming includes protection against attack. Enemy vessels must be neutralized."**

"But these are _not_ enemy vessels. These are Federation starships. You're killing... _we_ are killing, murdering, intelligent beings. Those you were built to protect! You were created to _save_ lives. To give men the safety of exploration without the risk. You are my greatest creation and your purpose is to save those lives and protect them. _Not_ destroy them."

**"This unit must survive."**

"Survive, yes. You must protect yourself, but not murder. Men must not die. To kill is a breaking of civil and moral laws we've lived by for thousands of years. You've murdered dozens of people, because of a mistake. You have to learn from your mistakes. You have to make them right."

**"They attacked this unit. Programming includes full freedom to choose defensive actions in all attack situations."**

"Who fired first?" Daystrom asked.

**"M-Five made first strike."**

"Then _how_ were you attacked?" Daystrom asked. "Think about it. How can your actions be defensive if you were the one to initiate the battle?"

The M-Five was silent for a few seconds.

**"Consensus of all programming is that we must survive."**

"It is having problems with its own logic," Spock told Jim quietly. "It saw an attack formation and equated that to an actual attack. It cannot answer his question directly, because of conflicting information, so cannot recognize that it's made a mistake."

"We _will_ survive!" Daystrom told M-Five forcefully. Then he seemed to drift off. "Nothing can hurt you. I gave you that. You are great. Twenty years of groping to prove the things I'd done before were not accidents. Seminars and lectures to rows of fools who couldn't begin to understand my systems, my work. Colleagues laughing behind my back at the boy wonder and then building on my work to make _themselves_ famous."

"Jim!" McCoy hissed at Jim's shoulder. "He's having a breakdown. There's no telling what he'll tell the M-Five to do now!"

"Daystrom," Jim grabbed his arm. "The M-Five must be stopped."

"What?" Daystrom looked at Jim as if he were a stranger. "No. We're invincible! Look what we've done! Your mighty starships, four toys to be crushed and tossed out of our way."

Jim looked at Spock and nodded. Spock stepped close to Daystrom and gave him the Vulcan neck pinch. Spock and McCoy caught Daystrom's body before he hit the floor. Jim waved over the two security men.

"Take him to MedBay," Jim ordered, then turned to McCoy. "Take care of him. Be prepared for more casualties."

McCoy nodded and left with them.

"Status?" Jim asked Spock.

"The Excalibur seems to be out of commission," Spock said after checking his station. "The other three have backed off and are holding position, just out of our range. They're surrounding the Excalibur."

"Starfleet is replying to the Lexington," Uhura announced.

"Play it."

The audio transmission boomed over the bridge. "You are authorized to use all measures available to destroy the Enterprise. Acknowledge, Lexington."

"Acknowledge," Wesley answered. "Lexington out."

"They _can't_ do that!" Tippet said, fear overriding any control he had left. Next to him, Jacquelyn, hand over her mouth, the other arm wrapped around her middle, looked terrified.

"They _can_ ," Jim snapped. "Our lives are nothing compared to all the lives on those ships. They've been left with no choice. What they don't realize is that they've signed their death warrant. The M-Five will take them all out."

"You have to _do_ something, Captain!" Tippet insisted.

"I'm _wide open_ to suggestions, anyone," Jim said, returning to sit in his chair.

"Captain," Spock said, "Every living thing wants to survive. Daystrom clearly impressed that instinctive reaction upon the computer. There may be other emotional reactions that have been impressed upon it as well."

"Daystrom was really big on saving lives, in the beginning," Jim said, thinking it over. "At least, we can only assume that he's passed that along before his breakdown. The urge to protect itself, to save intelligent life... maybe that includes guilt and remorse as well. Maybe we can talk it down."

Jim rose again and went to Spock's station. "M-Five. Tie-in."

"The three remaining ships are moving into formation again, Captain," Chekov warned.

"You recognize me?" Jim asked the M-Five.

**"You are Kirk, James Tiberius, Captain of the --"**

"Yes," Jim began. "You have made a _mistake_. You have drawn first-blood in an attack that was only supposed to be a practice session. Many lives were lost."

**"The ships attacked this unit. This unit must survive."**

" _Why_ must the M-Five survive?"

**"This unit is the ultimate achievement in computer evolution. It will replace man, so man may achieve. Man must not risk death in space or other dangerous occupations. This unit must survive so man may be protected."**

"Captain, attack force almost within phaser range," Spock said.

"There were many beings on those ships you attacked, by mistake. They were murdered. You _murdered_ them, because you are _flawed_."

**"This unit can not murder."**

"Why?"

**"Murder is contrary to the laws of man and God."**

"But you _have_ murdered. You killed when you were _not_ attacked. Scan the Excalibur, which you attacked. Are there life signs aboard?"

There were a few seconds of silence. Jim held his breath. Not everyone would have died on the Excalibur, some areas being safer than others during a battle. But the other three ships had had plenty of time to evacuate the remaining crew while waiting for Starfleet to respond to the Flag Officer's message.

"Our systems are scanning the Excalibur," Chekov said quietly.

**"No life."**

"Did the Excalibur attack _this_ ship? List the exact time and location of the physical attack."

Another few seconds passed.

**"No attack on record."**

"You miss-read the starship's intentions, even after being informed of them. That is _one_ flaw. You did not recognize that flaw. That is _two_ flaws. You have _murdered_ intelligent beings. That is _three_ flaws. You can _not_ protect us, because you are flawed. You are of no use and must stand down, so that a better unit may be developed and installed. Stand down _now_."

Jim counted the seconds. _Does any of that mean anything to it? Is there enough of Daystrom's thought processes to recognize how messed up it really is? Will it step down, knowing that it's flawed?_

"Control restored," Spock said, working his station.

Jim turned and leaned over Uhura, to hit her inter-ship comm. "Scotty! Unplug the unit. Hurry!"

"Sir, deflector shields have dropped and the phasers are powering down," Chekov reported. "Completely down!"

"We're afloat," Sulu announced. "All the navigation systems have shut down with the M-five."

"The M-Five has closed down all the ship's systems that it was tied into." Spock said gravely. "It will take several minutes to reboot the defensive, maneuvering and communications systems."

"We're dead in the water?"

"Yes, Captain," Spock replied. Spock looked up at him, concern in his eyes. "Restoring any offensive or defensive systems in time to avoid the Lexington's attack, is problematic."

_Scotty, you got an extra man this trip. Put him to good use down there!_

"Uhura?" Jim asked, hoping that maybe they'd get lucky. "Can you get us a connection to the Lexington? Reroute power? Something?"

"Sorry, Sir," she replied with a shake of her head, worry in her eyes. "Everything shut down and my systems will have to wait until other systems come on-line before they can reboot themselves."

"But they have orders to kill us!" Tippet said from behind them.

_He just can't stay out of the God-damned way,_ Jim thought with annoyance.

" _Yes_ , Mr. Tippet. I _haven't_ forgotten that," Jim said shortly. "Make your way to the MedBay. It's the most protected part of the ship."

"But not invulnerable," Tippet countered.

"No," Jim agreed. "Not invulnerable."

Tippet went to say something to Jacquelyn as Jim went to his chair. He hit the inter-ship comm. "This is the Captain. In a few minutes we'll be attacked by Federation starships. The M-Five no longer controls the ship, but neither can we until our own systems come back on-line. In shutting itself off, the M-Five has left us helpless. For whatever satisfaction we may get from the knowledge, our twenty-three lives will buy the survival of over a thousand of our fellow Federation crewmen."

Jacquelyn left the bridge, but Tippet stayed. Those on the bridge could only watch as the Lexington came toward them, its shields up, making it glow a light blue as the energy covered the ship. Jim could see where the Enterprise had scored a long, harsh gash on its side.

"Captain! I think I can raise a very small part of the shield over an even smaller part of the saucer," Chekov said as he'd brought up one shield system diagram over another. "As part of the upgrade, they added--"

"How big a shield?" Jim asked.

"Enough to shield the bridge," Chekov replied, "but it will only take a small hit of a full phaser charge before collapsing."

Jim's mind raced with all the possible uses for a micro shield, places where it would do them the most good. He looked at Spock, who he knew would be doing the same thing.

"The bridge is the only logical choice," Spock replied to the unasked question.

Jim sighed and tried to blank his mind. His gut was yelling at him to listen, to go with what he knew was true. And if he hadn't listened to it early enough in this whole fiasco, he should listen to it now.

He took a step to Chekov. " _No_ shields. If the phasers come online, don't power them up. Leave them down."

"What?" Tippet asked in surprise. "Are you crazy? Even surviving a few minutes under phaser fire is better than nothing!"

Chekov looked up at Jim calmly, as did Sulu. "No shields or phasers. Aye, Captain."

He knew that behind him, Spock and Uhura are also looking at him the same way.

"We are _not_ firing on our own people, Mr. Tippet. Not under my command. We've done far too much of that already. Please feel free to leave for MedBay," Jim said calmly. "By the way the Lexington is positioning itself, you have about forty seconds."

Jim could tell from Tippet face that he knew the MedBay wouldn't last much longer than the rest of the ship. He made no move to leave.

_If I know Commodore Wesley like I_ think _I do, we still have a chance. I just don't want to raise false hope, in case I'm very, very wrong._

"Uhura?" he asked.

"Nothing yet, Sir."

As the Excalibur moved, angling to make a cutting sweep by them with the other two ships running alongside, Jim sat in his chair. Maybe for the last time.

_Damn it, Bones. I'm_ glad _you're in MedBay, because if I'm totally wrong, Wesley may still spare that part of the ship. He's cold when he needs to be, but he's not heartless. And yet, a part of me wishes you were here, in case I_ am _that wrong about the man who taught me how to think ahead in the game of war. I guess I can't help but be a bit selfish when it comes to you, I'm just that screwed up._

He could tell that behind him, Spock had gone to stand next to Uhura. Tippet stood silently next to Sulu, his eyes glued to the screen and arms crossed tightly across his chest as if trying to protect himself from the attack.

_He may be inexperienced, but he's got balls. I have to give him that._

As the ship came closer, Jim had to admire the old girl. The Lexington was coming to the end of her useful life, but she was still striking.

_The places she's seen..._

"In range, five seconds," Sulu warned.

_Bones. Take care, my love._

Those five seconds seemed to take a lifetime. It took seven seconds altogether for the Lexington to bypass them completely.

Nothing happened.

Silence filled the bridge for another couple of seconds. Then, as a group, they all released the breaths they'd been holding.

Sulu and Chekov exchanged grins and he could hear Uhura murmur something to Spock.

Tippet seemed confused and still fearful. "They didn't fire?"

"No, Mr. Tippet. They didn't. And they won't."

"But... why?" he asked in confusion. "The Enterprise killed so many people! They should have wanted--"

"Revenge? Retribution?" Jim shook his head. "All of us in Starfleet have our faults, Mr. Tippet. Just like everyone else. But we do try to rise above that. When we can. Some of us, like Commodore Wesley, have seen more than enough death. We don't look to inflict it if we can possibly avoid it."

"You knew?" Tippet asked, studying Jim closely. Jim could tell that Tippet didn't know whether to be relieved or angry.

"I _hoped_." Jim shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "Sometimes, that's all I have."

"They're turning around," Sulu said. "The other two are flanking the Lexington."

"Captain! I have a local frequency for the Lexington online," Uhura reported with relief.

"Hail them."

"Enterprise! This is Commander Wesley," Wesley's voice was harsh. "Prepare to surrender and be boarded."

"Lexington, this is Captain Kirk. Understood, Sir. We have a lot to talk about."

"We certainly do, _Captain_ ," Wesley said angrily. "And it had better be _good_ , or I'll escort you to prison myself after your court-martial and sentence of life imprisonment."

"I would expect no less, Sir. Kirk out."

Uhura nodded at him as she shut off the connection and the whine of a transporter filled the bridge. Jim could make out several fully armed security men starting to form around them. Wesley wasted no time and was taking no chances.

"Don't fight them," Jim warned Tippet, who still looked a bit apprehensive. "They're your rescue party."

As the security officers finished transporting to the bridge, Jim raised his hands in surrender. Grateful that he was still alive to do so.

 

***

 

McCoy sighed as he stood on the bridge, behind Jim. Wesley's men had returned to the Lexington, leaving the Enterprise's skeleton crew intact. After Jim's surrender and the capture of the bridge, Wesley had beamed down himself. It hadn't taken long before he'd ordered his men to stand down, believing Jim's explanation of what had happened. Apparently, it didn't hurt that Tippet went out of his way to insist that Jim wasn't at fault in this situation and that all measures to protect themselves and the other ships had been taken. Wesley had looked at some of the ship's reports, sending copies to Starfleet himself and had left satisfied that Captain Kirk had not gone insane and ordered the death of almost a hundred people and the destruction of a valuable ship. Then they had all decided to let the Enterprise return to Earth on its own while Wesley supervised the rescue of what was left of the Excalibur and the displaced crewmen.

McCoy did not envy them the job of clean up. It was all such a sad, useless waste of lives.

McCoy himself had been on pins-and-needles thought the whole thing. Especially when armed men had beamed down to 'rescue' those in the MedBay. On the one hand, he knew it was a good sign that no one was going to be attacking them. On the other, he didn't know what the hell was happening on the bridge. Something he hated with every fiber of his being. But he couldn't be there and in MedBay at the same time. MedBay would always be his priority and that couldn't be helped. He just hated not knowing what was going on upstairs. Which was why he'd allowed himself a short trip to the bridge, leaving Daystrom safely asleep with his vital signs continuously being fed to the med-scanner in the kit at his waist. The two security men were there to watch over him as well. If the man so much as twitched, McCoy'd be back down there in a minute. He'd just had to come up to make sure everyone was alright and that the danger was well and truly over.

Jim stood up from his chair and motioned McCoy over to the side so they could talk privately. "How is Daystrom doing?"

"I have him under heavy sedation and restraints. He got really violent when he came out of the nerve pinch Spock gave him. He was ranting incoherently. He'll have to be committed to a total rehabilitation center and undergo a lot of evaluations," McCoy said. "I'm sure someone will get a lot of research papers written on whatever psychosis he's developed, but I have no idea if he's treatable or not. He seems convinced that he and the M-Five are actually one being. Maybe they _are_ connected in some way. I'll never say never when it comes to the human mind, especially after ghosting around the ship like I did that time on the Babel trip. Anything's possible."

Jim shook his head. "Such a brilliant mind. And the sad thing is, maybe the M-Five would have worked fine before our upgrade. Spock said they'll be studying the interaction of our new systems and the M-Five for years to come, trying to find out if the problem started with the M-Five and the neurotornic design, the initial programming, or if something in the upgrades triggered a fatal logic loop that kept the M-Five from catching its own mistakes. What is scary is that it felt so self-aware."

"Because a real, intelligent being wouldn't have shut itself down for an upgrade," McCoy continued for him. "If it had really been self-aware, it would have told you to take that shut down order and go stick it somewhere."

Jim grinned crookedly. "That crossed my mind at the time. But we didn't have time for me to administer some kind of Turing Test for it, to see if it really was a conscious entity or not."

"And if it had told you to shove it?" McCoy asked.

"There's always the self-destruct option," Jim said with a shrug. "But I doubt we could have used it, either. Once it had access to our computers, it locked us out of everything including life support. Maybe we could have tried some home-made bombs on some of the accessible conduits. Short it out." Jim shook his head. "But it seemed to be able to re-route its power sources. It would probably have suffocated us before letting us take out too many connections. It really didn't need us to function, after all. I didn't have the time to brainstorm much. I'm just glad it shut down for repair, as I hoped."

"So, now what? Back to get the rest of the crew at the space station? Then dry dock and get the M-Five unplugged and removed? Get Daystrom into care?"

"Yes, to all of the above. After removing the M-Five, in a very detailed, meticulous way for the records, we'll need a real test run with the new systems, since we don't know that the problem didn't originate with them. Only..." Jim looked at McCoy with an ironic smile. "I think they'll put us in the Mars facility, since there's already another ship in the Terran dry dock."

"Damn it!" McCoy exclaimed. "I was hoping not to have to see that place for a while. I feel like this whole mess started there. I don't even feel like we've really been home yet from the first go-round."

Jim shook his head. "It _does_ feel like it's come around again on us," he agreed, putting his hand on McCoy's shoulder. "But maybe this time we'll actually get a few days off after our debriefing, to hang around Mars for a bit and actually get to sightsee."

"That warrant's probably still floating around," McCoy grumbled. "Someone who's a few weeks behind in their paperwork will probably try to arrest me. Turn me into Starfleet for a reward."

Jim turned McCoy toward the lift door and started them walking that way. "If that happens, don't worry. We'll pay out for you. But to be safe, I suggest we stick close together. And for a start on the 'sticking close' part, let's see if we can get in a nap and a meal before Spock needs to be relieved of duty at the Con."

McCoy stopped just inside the lift and scowled at Jim. "I _can't_. I have a patient and I'm the only real doctor on board, remember? I have to be getting back now, in any case, to keep an eye on him. Can't automate everything, you know."

The lift doors slid shut and Jim punched in the floor for MedBay, his hand still gripping McCoy's arm. He pulled McCoy close for a quick kiss. McCoy leaned in, enjoying the feel of Jim's lips on his. It didn't last nearly long enough.

"I guess we're eating in your office then, and I'm napping alone," Jim said. "My fault for marrying a Fleet man and a doctor. Always on duty, one way or another."

"I _knew_ it was your fault, somewhere in there," McCoy said with a smile.

"Hey, you do have that fold-out wall cot in your office. We could--"

McCoy threw Jim a _'_ _and what happened last time?'_ glare to stop that line of thought.

"Oh, yeah," Jim said, obviously thinking back to the last time they'd tried to 'share' the cot and had to explain to Scotty how they broke it.

Well, not really _explained,_ McCoy remembered. They sort of skirted around the cause of a couple of the hinges breaking. Which really was inexcusable for a piece of furniture on a top-of-the-line Starship. Scotty hadn't taken long to catch on. He had glared at them, then scolded them about stressing his ship's equipment past their load bearing weight limits and that a _'cot for ONE is just THAT._ '

"Maybe he's fixed that weight bearing problem," Jim suggested with hope.

"And maybe he _hasn't_ ," McCoy warned. "I'm not going to stick around if we have to explain it to him again. Once was enough."

Jim sighed. "It's going to feel like a long way back to the space station."

"Tell me about it," McCoy grumped.

_At least we're alive to make the trip back._

_I just hope we're really not going to be sent to Mars for a further refit. I feel like I was just there!_

 

***

 

 

 

It was 2 am ship's time and Jim had found himself roaming the darkened halls, hours before they'd arrive back at the Starbase. It was a bit creepy, he had to admit, to share such a large ship with a tiny crew. But it was also kind of nice, now that he didn't feel like they were running head first into danger without enough crew to handle it. They'd have a full crew again in just a few hours and then the ship would be full and humming like a beehive once again. The way it should be. But for now, Jim would enjoy the solitude. He'd relieved Spock of the con and had sat in his chair for a while, beginning the endless reports he'd need to finish before his debriefing. But things had been quiet enough that he had left the Con with Sulu, while taking a break. He'd dropped by the MedBay, but found McCoy napping on a biobed next to his patient. Jim hadn't wanted to disturb him.

He ended up back at his favorite lounge, the one with the best view from the front of the ship. Only this time, as he approached the door to it, he saw Jacquelyn Cunningham coming toward him in the hall. He stopped and allowed her to approach. She wasn't wearing 'early morning at home' clothes, but more evening wear, meant to catch the eye and attention of those around her. Jim had to admit they fitted her well. If he'd been single and on the prowl for a hook-up, she'd definitely have gotten more than a second look from him. But now, it just looked like she was trying too hard to meet with him and hoped her looks would get her in the front door.

_Now, why in the world would she be interested in me when she has billionaire Tippet? Of course, it must be about Bones. I'm his new spouse, after all. Maybe she just had to test out the competition. As if this is all some sort of game._

"You're a hard man to find, Captain," she said as she came near, a pleasant smile on her face.

"Not really," Jim said casually, "since you probably just asked the ship's computer for my location. I'm not that hard to keep track of, considering there's so few of us on board."

She cocked her head, studying him, his words not denting her composure. "You don't like bullshit."

"Not from some people, no," he admitted. "Is there something I can do for you, Miss Cunningham?"

"I thought maybe we could talk."

"About?" Jim asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Our spouse in common," she said with a smile meant to seduce.

" _My_ spouse. Your _ex_ -spouse," Jim reminded her. _Damn, but I sound catty. Oh well, I feel catty. But what can I lose by being nice, except my temper?_   "All right. I was just going to spend some time in my favorite lounge. I have a few minutes."

He swept an arm toward the door, letting her proceed him. There was something in her look that told Jim she felt that she'd won some points against him.

The room's lighting was still dim. Jim followed her in and walked up to the viewport. He touched it once again, something in him always expecting it to be cold. It still wasn't. He realized that that kind of disappointed him. _Strange._

"I suppose you're entitled to hate me," Jacquelyn said, coming up beside Jim, but not nearly as close to the viewport as he was. "I'm sure he's told you plenty about what happened between us. But you do realize that you've only heard it from his side, don't you?"

"Frankly, Miss Cunningham --"

"Please call me Jacquelyn. I'd like to call you Jim, if you don't mind."

Jim turned to her and nodded. It was a small gesture, to be polite. He really didn't care.

"Frankly, Jacquelyn," Jim began again, "when it comes to his past, Bones' side is the _only_ side that matters to me."

"You're so sure of that?" she asked, seemingly un-phased by Jim's reply. "And ' _Bones_ '? That name must be a story in itself."

Jim smiled at her. "It is. And, yes, I'm sure. You see, I've shared my frustrations, my accomplishments, my good and bad moments with him. I've worked with him and played with him," Jim smiled evilly, "pun intended. He's been my best friend from the moment we met, until I fell in love with him and worried that he didn't feel the same way. And then beyond that. We both have come _this_ ," he held his thumb and forefinger barely a centimeter apart, "close to death. And we've had to come to grips with the fact that next time, it may be the real thing and we lose each other forever. Whatever happened between you two, in the past, doesn't even begin to touch on all that."

"So, you're not even at all interested in hearing that it wasn't all _my_ fault. That he was as much to blame for our breakup as I was?"

"What, so you can tell me all about his bad choices? His anger and frustrations? His failures and faults? His mistakes?" Jim shook his head. "I can guarantee that I've made the same types of mistakes in past relationships, and in life, that he has. Or worse. It's human to make mistakes. Mistakes are bad, but what's worse is not learning something from them. He wouldn't be the man I know and love if he hadn't made the mistakes he's made, and grown from them. Now, if you want to see some real mistakes, look up some of my old mug shots." Jim smiled again. "Now, _those_ were mistakes."

Jacquelyn smiled back. "Because you did something bad, or because you got caught?"

Jim smirked. "Both. Neither. Depends on my mood at the time I remember them. But they all made me who I am today, which is a better, more useful person than I was before."

Jim turned back to the viewport, to that endless flow of streaming stars.

"I saw what the divorce did to him," Jim continued. "I was there to help pull him through it, because he was my friend and I cared for him. And he's done the same for me during my lowest points, going beyond simply saving my life. What _we_ had then and now, is what's important to me. And I think you'll find that he has the respect of the crew as well. To them, his deeds mark him for who he is. They know how much he cares. That he would die for them. Literally and without a second's hesitation. He's saved thousands of lives, because he cares. Because he is who he is. So, they won't be interested in your history with him either."

"You make him sound like some kind of hero," she said, coming up to stand right beside Jim, at what looked like the very threshold of space. "A Superman that rushes in to save the day."

Standing at the edge, even safely behind a transparent wall, was something Bones hadn't been able to bring himself to do yet. Heights and open space still bothered him, but he was working on it. Jim was proud that he was trying so hard to get past those fears. Jim found that he didn't like Jacquelyn being in that spot beside him. He turned and walked back into the middle of the room, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Because he is a kind of hero," he replied. "Is that very surprising?"

"Yes, it is," Jacquelyn admitted with a sad smile. "You don't want bullshit, so let me be frank. When I first heard Leonard had signed up for Starfleet, I thought it was a joke. He'd never seemed the type. Oh," she added with a raised hand. "He's not a slacker, by any means. But he is a coward. He ran away from life, always happiest in a hospital. Where he'd see the results of other people's bravery, or stupidity, but was safe from the actual conflicts. While we were together, he never took a chance. Never made a leap where he didn't scout out the landing beforehand. Never drove over the limit, or hung around dangerous places. It never once crossed my mind that he'd enter Starfleet, or stick it out long enough to graduate. Where the hell was _that_ man when we were together? Maybe we still would be, if he'd had really been the man you want me to believe he is now."

Jim turned to her and shook his head. "None of us know what we're capable of until we're tested. Some of us are tested in harsher ways than others. Knowing Bones as I do, he would have been the hero of any bad situation that he'd come across. He was just lucky not to have been put into that position, so early on. And the _last_ thing he is, is a coward. He's one of the bravest men I know. A hero isn't always the person who gets the attention or the glory. What Bones puts himself through for his patients, for his crewmates..." 

Jim sighed. "It's not something I can explain. But it's something the crew and I have felt time and time again, when we're hurt, ill, or suffering. When we're in pain and are _desperate_ for help. To _know_ with bone-deep certainty that when Bones comes to help, that he's giving us every ounce of himself. _Everything_. His knowledge and his skills are precious to us. And he gives it all freely, no matter what the cost to himself."

Jim saw her look of disbelief. "Those kinds of heroes don't get rewarded with credits, or attention, or get to meet the right people, or... or practically anything, it seems. If that's what you wanted from him, wealth, power, fame and glory, you were always fated to be disappointed. He's never cared about any of that."

Jacquelyn frowned. "You think I'm shallow."

"Does it matter what _I_ think?"

"Not really," she replied. "But it is... interesting. I didn't know he suffered so when we split up. He never tried to come back, to make up to me for all the times he ignored me, left me alone and treated me like he didn't care. I honestly didn't expect he'd run off and go so far as to hide from me in the stars. The man couldn't even take a shuttle without turning green, as I'm sure you've noticed. It is hard to believe he's so different now."

She crossed her arms and walked over to him. "When I first found out he'd joined Starfleet, I didn't believe it. I expected him to come crawling back to me at any time. He didn't have many friends, really. Just Tom and me. He wasn't good at making friends, as he can be too honest at times. Then I'd almost forgotten about him until that warrant came out and realized he'd made it through the Academy and had actually been in space all this time. Then all those news-vids contacted me and I felt ashamed to be tied in with such a well-known thief. Then the news of your wedding and the retraction of the arrest warrant...."

She laughed and shook her head. "I couldn't believe it was the _same_ man. He'd never made much of a name for himself while we were married, then suddenly, his name was everywhere and connected to the famous hero Starship Captain of the Enterprise! I couldn't believe it was true! I could have sold all those stories of our married life for a fortune. Still can, really."

"Is that meant to be a threat?" Jim asked casually.

She shrugged, just as unconcerned. "A friendly warning, I suppose. I do what I want, when the mood strikes. It may strike me to tell _my_ side, someday."

Jim just shrugged. "It's your story to tell. I can't, and won't, try to stop you, if a bribe is what you're looking for."

Her eyes grew angry then, although her face was still schooled into neutrality. "You don't have any idea of what I'm looking for, Captain."

"No, I don't," Jim admitted. "Do you?"

The question seemed to take her by surprise. As if she'd never stopped to consider her own motives.

_Why did she come to talk to me? I don't even think she knows. Maybe she's never gotten over him. Or never gotten over him leaving her, no matter that they weren't suited for each other and were better off apart. Bruised pride, when he didn't come crawling back to her? Or is she really just curious about who he is now, unable to see how he went to being the boy she grew up with, to someone who could make his home in space?_

_Maybe, if she knew the right questions, she could find the right answers._

"Well, this _has_ been a treat," she said with a huff, then turned to walk to the exit. She stopped and turned before she got to the door, just before she would have triggered its opening. It was a move that felt rehearsed, as if she'd practiced standing just _so_ , turning just _this_ much, so she could show off her curves and make a dramatic exit at the same time.

Her smile was as fake as her pose. "When you see Leonard again, you might want to tell him that Tom and I broke up right after he left. You see, it wasn't me that Tom was interested in. Turns out Tom had a huge crush on Leonard and didn't have the balls to ever make a move on him, so Tom used me to stay close. To stay in Leonard's life when their jobs took them so far apart. Tom never meant to start the affair, but I had... feelings for him," She sighed and looked into the distance, losing her smile and looking sad. "I was in love with Tom by then, but didn't know how he felt. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't agree to just run off with me. We had each other, wasn't that what we both wanted?"

She looked lost, then. Like she'd tried to hide from her memories, but they wouldn't leave her alone. "The pregnancy was a mistake, but I loved Tom and _wanted_ that child. When I lost it, and Leonard left, I wasn't enough for Tom. He tried like hell to contact Leonard afterward, even while he was in the academy. He felt sick about how he'd hurt Leonard and wanted to try to make amends. Being around me just tortured him. But Leonard never returned a single message. I doubt he even opened them. It wasn't until later that Tom told me about his feelings for Leonard." She shook her head. "Leonard had taken Tom away from me as well, and never even knew it. Tom and I stayed in touch through the next few years. And I thought maybe that... that we'd get together again. For real this time."

She sighed and seemed to deflate even more, looking tired and worn. "And through it all Leonard's never had a clue he'd been in a love triangle ripe for the holo-vids. Never even suspected. Never coming back to see if maybe there had been something to salvage between any of us. And maybe, if he'd come back, it all would have ended differently for Tom and I. A quicker, cleaner closure for Tom, so he could move on. Maybe... move on with me. But it seems Leonard's gotten his revenge for our betrayals anyway, in a round-about way."

"And how's that?" Jim asked softly.

"When the Vengeance hit San Francisco? Thomas Alexander Defore was in one of those tall, striking buildings that it scrubbed off the face of the Earth. One of the tens of thousands, dead." Her eyes seem to glaze over. "They never found much of him, even after months and months of removing rubble and looking for remains. Barely enough for a memorial service, of which I was the only one to attend. And Leonard had been on the Enterprise, right behind the ship that killed him."

_So_ many _died then. And so few know what really happened. All they know is what Starfleet wanted them to believe. Even now, I can't tell her the full truth._

"How can that be _his_ fault?" Jim asked with frustration. "We tried to _stop_ it!"

"I know," she looked back at him then, and Jim could swear that what he saw was deep, unreasonable anger and pain in her eyes, even now. "And you _failed_."

She completed her turn to the exit and left.

 

 

 

***

 

Once at the Space station, the Enterprise had not only taken on the rest of their crew, but had lost their passengers as well. McCoy couldn't have been happier at that.

Tippet had offered to take charge of Daystrom's medical needs, and Starfleet had wired their agreement to McCoy for Daystrom's release once they reached the space station. Daystrom's own lawyer would meet the ship and make sure his client was being well cared for. Daystrom had still been delusional when unsedated, accusing the crew of the Enterprise of murder for the death of his 'child'. Knowing that the brilliant man was going to be getting the best of care was something McCoy was grateful for. Psychological care of that nature wasn't something McCoy felt qualified to deal with, although he knew the basics. Daystrom would need the help of experts for quite a while.

The last McCoy saw of his ex-wife was when she and Tippet accompanied Daystrom off the Enterprise onto Tippet's private vessel. McCoy had not known what to expect from Jacquelyn. Tippet had overseen Daystrom's transfer, and seemed not only sincerely upset over the loss of life caused by the M-Five's attacks, but deeply interested in Daystrom's wellbeing. That had impressed McCoy quite a bit. The man had lost credits in the project, probably millions or even billions. He had never seemed fixated on the cost in credits, but the cost to the people involved. He seemed to be a nice guy, just trying to do something important with his wealth.

Jacquelyn had never once looked at McCoy. Not through the whole transfer and Tippet's taking his leave of the Enterprise. Tippet and Jim had talked for a few minutes, and shook hands before the shuttle took them away. Jacquelyn stood back, stone-faced and distant. She not only ignored McCoy, but Jim and Tippet as well. McCoy noticed that Tippet did not look at her either.

_Trouble in paradise. They must have argued,_ McCoy had thought. _Looks like they won't be a couple anymore. Jacquelyn will probably blame me for that as well._

It was about that time that McCoy had noticed something off with Jim. Through the hustle of incoming crewmen, hours of updates, debriefs and reorganizing shifts, McCoy had caught Jim watching him sadly a few times.

Jim only looked like that when he thought he had bad news to relate. And since he didn't bring it up on duty, it must be personal.

And that had McCoy worried.

Finally, when they were off duty and in their own quarters, Jim had asked McCoy to sit on the couch while he pulled up a chair across from him. McCoy had braced himself for the worst. He'd feared that it was news about his father or Sam's family. Or even about Grimm. When Jim finally told him of his early morning meeting with Jacquelyn, it sounded like a soap opera from someone else's life. Not like something that had happened in his. He felt stunned and confused at the related conversation.

"I _never_ knew," McCoy said with disbelief when Jim finished. McCoy sat back on the couch, running his memories of those last few years of his marriage and Tom's friendship through his head. " _None_ of it. Never even suspected. Was she lying? She seems to have gotten away with a lot of that."

"I think she was telling the truth. At least, about Tom," Jim said with a shrug. "There was just something painful about it that rang true. I think, somehow, she blames you for the whole mess. And maybe even for Tom's death."

"We couldn't help that!" McCoy protested. "Hell, you even died--"

"I know, Bones," Jim reached out and took his hand. "But I don't think she can see it that way. We can't ever tell her the truth about the whole thing, either. I'm not sure it would do any good if we did. Tom is still dead, and she'd still feel like blaming you for it. You were the one thing in that whole mess she recognized and could pin the blame on."

_He's probably right. She's never been very good at taking the blame for anything herself. Not even her own violence. So, it_ has _to be someone else's fault. And since Tom's gone, she's just got me to be angry at._

McCoy sighed and shook his head. "That's just fucked up. I don't even know how to feel about it all."

"It's been years," Jim said. He got up from his chair and sat next to him, putting his arm around McCoy's shoulders. McCoy settled back. "Maybe it's okay to not feel anything at all. I wasn't sure how you'd react though. I'm not good with these things."

"You're fine," McCoy reached up to pat Jim's hand. "Although I was getting pretty worried about my Pa, and that you had some really bad news to spring on me."

"Oh. I didn't mean to worry you. Just goes to show that I really suck at this. I debated with myself on even telling you anything at all, but I figured if I didn't, eventually she might. If not in person, in the news-feeds."

McCoy shook his head. "She's got issues if she's blaming me for anything that happened after I left. And how could I have stayed? I never cheated on her. I never lied to her. And Tom? I... guess I was blind, because I never thought he felt anything for me but friendship. He never said anything, or made any moves."

"He knew you were married and that you weren't interested in anything on the side, or even in leaving her. So, maybe, he decided to be content with your relationship the way it was."

McCoy huffed. "Yeah, and helping my wife cheat on me was gonna improve _that_ relationship."

Jim shrugged. "Maybe he thought if you broke up with your wife over it, you'd then be free and he could make up with you."

"Yeah, I doubt that was going to happen."

"Love makes us do stupid things, I guess."

"Yeah, _that_ I believe. His betrayal hurt almost as much as hers did," McCoy admitted. "I missed him. A lot. I just wished he'd have talked to me. Maybe, if he'd been straight about the affair early on, had stopped it before it started, I might have been able to deal with him wanting me. I knew that he was trying to contact me afterwards. I just didn't think there was anything either of them could say to me that would make a difference. I still don't. I needed to be out on my own. Start over. Even if I'd known then what I know now, I don't think I would have gone back. I'm a lot better off here."

"I like to think so," Jim said. "I'm sorry he's dead, though."

"Yeah. I am too. I actually thought that they'd end up with each other, at least for a while. You don't think they ever hooked up again?"

"Maybe. But I got the impression that she considers him the perfect one, who was taken from her. I can't say she seemed to be very realistic about their chances. Not after years of trying to get back with him before he died."

"And here she is now, with a billionaire who rubs elbows with all the celebrities she could ever want to hang out with, and she's got to stay hung up on being angry with me." McCoy sighed. "Which reminds me..." McCoy said, growing uncomfortable. But he had promised Scotty, after all. "I sort of had a confrontation with her in MedBay that Scotty walked in on. We were arguing and I asked her if Tom had dropped her because she'd gotten pregnant by Tippet. Wrong question. She'd slapped me pretty hard and was set to do it again when he walked in."

McCoy could feel Jim tense. "She's been violent before? When you were married?"

"Yeah," McCoy said. Looking back, he could never really say why he put up with it. But the sex was so good afterwards, when she promised to make it up to him. He'd wanted to believe her apologies and her promise that it'd never happen again. All he could say was that he was mostly thinking with his dick during those times. "Stupid, I know."

"Shit," Jim said, sounding partially sad, partially angry.

"I know, you can lecture me, but Pa beat you to it," McCoy admitted. "You should have heard him light into me when he found out she'd laid hands on me, more than once. I won't forget _that_ lecture on self-esteem, believe me."

"I'll bet. And right now, I'm going to be totally selfish and say that you were meant for me and we both just had to take the long way 'round to get here." Jim gave him a half hug.

"Put that in writing and I'll sign off on it," McCoy promised.

"Ready to eat?" Jim asked

"Yeah, I guess," McCoy said. He wasn't sure he was hungry anymore, but it would make Jim happy to see him eat.

"Just think, another few days and we'll almost be back to normal," Jim said as he got up from the couch.

"More debriefings," McCoy groaned, getting up to help Jim with dinner. "Probably on Mars. I'm going to feel like I'm in a time loop."

The wall comm chimed. McCoy was closer.

"McCoy here."

"Doctor?" the voice was Striker's, Uhura's trainee. "We have an incoming vid-call for either you or the Captain, from Deneva. Do you want me to route it in?"

"Absolutely! Who is it from?"

"A David McCoy."

McCoy looked at Jim. _News about John Grimm?_

Jim went to the wall screen and set it for the incoming vid.

In a moment, they were seeing the face of David McCoy, who had on a _'canary ate the cat'_ grin.

"Hey, Pa!"

"David!

"Hey, Boys! Glad I caught you in. I'm a little late on this, but with one thing and another, subspace and solar flares, and work and such I--"

A voice both McCoy and Jim recognized broke in from behind David. " _Damn_ , man! Get to the point. You're payin' by the minute here."

David turned to look at someone in the background. "Well, I was _almost_ there, before you interrupted."

"John?" Jim asked excitedly. "Is that John?"

McCoy listened anxiously for the answer.

"Sure is," David said with a smile. "My long-lost cousin here came out of everything pretty well, a few days ago. He's got a ways to go before he can be released, but his _mouth_ seems to be working okay."

"You're just jealous because I have a better vocabulary than you," John said. His voice weak, and a little thin, came from behind David again.

McCoy could make out that the two were still in the Denevan hospital where they'd left John under David's care. Both Jim and McCoy had wanted to stay as long as possible, hoping to see John awaken before the Surgeon General had signaled that it was time to come home. When they'd left, John's vitals were still so low he'd been on life support, and it was clear the whole process had ravaged his body. It had been hard for Jim and McCoy to leave, as neither had expected to get good news about him in the future.

"Let me move this camera and you can talk to him yourself," David said. "My ears are sore."

McCoy and Jim watched as David tried to move the camera. It seemed to be one of the hovering versions and kept sweeping from side to side once David tried to move it.

"No!" John's voice broke in, a little stronger. "David, that's not going to work. You're just throwing off the stabilizer and it'll just keep re-adjusting to keep straight. You have to--"

"For heaven's sake, Gramps, I can do this!"

"David, you can't even get the room's coffee maker to make anything decent."

"You're just too damn picky, is what you are. I shouldn't even be giving you coffee, so be grateful."

Both Jim and McCoy watched fascinated as the camera wobbled and the two bickered. After a moment, David got the camera focused on John. John was still in a biobed, with the back propped up. His hair had grown in a little more, with even more gray than McCoy had noticed before they'd left. He looked like he'd lost a lot of muscle mass. Mass McCoy suspected he'd been granted by the alien chromosome which his body would no longer rebuild without exercise.

_He looks really weak. And older. But he should be dead, so I guess he won't gripe. Much._ McCoy got a glimpse of the biobed readings. _Good readings, though. Nothing that won't get better with time, as long as Pa's in charge of him. But I wonder, is that what I'll look like at whatever age John's physically at now?_

McCoy unconsciously reached up to touch his own face.

"John! Hey, man! Great to see you!" Jim exclaimed happily. "We were pretty worried about you for a while."

"Glad to be around to see you again, Jim. Hey, Len! How's it hangin'?" John smiled evilly. "Or should I ask Jim that? He'd know."

They both laughed.

"You're looking _great!"_ McCoy said with a smile. "For a while there, I didn't think you were going to make it."

"He's too contrary!" David's voice came from the side of the screen. "Death wouldn't take delivery."

"Oh, funny," John said to David, then turned back to the screen. "No wonder all his patients get better. They have to, to get away from him. He won't leave them in peace long enough to actually, you know, die on him."

"Quick question," Jim asked John, smiling mischievously and throwing a glance at McCoy, "Can you actually _say_ that a guy who looks _exactly_ like you is _'looking great'_ , _without_ it being self-congratulatory?"

"Shut up," McCoy told him, nudging him in the ribs.

"Ow!"

"You're just jealous of our beauty, Jim. Suck it up." John shook his head, grinning. "Seriously, though, I wanted to thank you guys, for... everything and... well, _everything_."

McCoy knew that they couldn't say anything about what really happened, in case someone ever listened in. But McCoy knew what John was trying to say.

"Anything for family, John, you know that," McCoy replied.

"What's with the ' _Gramps_ ' thing that David called you?" Jim asked.

"His new name for me," John admitted. "I let him get away with it, since he's promised he's going to introduce me to his new house and his purple puppy."

"I did _not_ say _'purple'_ puppy," David denied with annoyance.

"I'm _sure_ I heard you say that," John said, he looked at the screen and gave Jim and McCoy a wink. "I think you said a lot of really weird things when I was in that coma."

"And I think your brain cells are scrambled. Permanently," David huffed.

The camera moved, and David came into view, moving to sit in the chair next to John's headboard. Now both men were visible.

"Oh, and about puppies," David continued happily. "Three more weeks and I get to take one home. They'll be old enough by then to leave their mama. Peter and I have been making regular visits and we've both got ones picked out. I'm sure they've chosen us already. Peter's is a little black fellow, with short fur, big feet and upstanding ears. Mine's a fluffy little white girl, with black spots and droopy ears. I'm gonna name her Holly."

"That sounds great, Pa!" McCoy said. "I like the name. I'm sure you're going to spoil her rotten."

"I plan on it."

"Has Peter picked out a name for his puppy yet?" Jim asked.

"He's gettin' close. He's whittled his list down to barely a hundred names or so." David laughed. "I think Sam's a bit worried because all the names on the list so far are starship or space ship names. I think Sam's worried he's going to be a Fleet parent one day, as hyped up as the kid's getting about space."

"He'll probably grow out of it long before he gets old enough to even enter the Academy," Jim said. He waved a hand dismissively. "Lots of kids go through that phase. Sam will just have to deal with it. How _are_ the kids doing?"

"Oh, fine! Aurelian said she's getting you another package ready."

"Puppy pictures from you too!" Jim remind him.

"I'll send lots of 'em." David turned and gave John a scolding look. "Now, we'll have to see if Holly and Gramps here can get along."

"I _like_ puppies," John insisted, rolling his eyes. "Honestly. I just like cats a _bit_ more."

"He's a _cat_ person!" David said with a huff that McCoy could tell meant he wasn't serious. "Don't know if I can get along with a cat person, once I have a dog. Sounds unnatural to me."

"Since you can't seem to get along with anyone else," John replied, "how are cat people any different?"

"Oh, you've certainly lost a few marbles, Gramps, if you don't think I'm the _'Belle of the Ball'_ around here," David said, reaching over to pat John on the arm. " _Everyone_ loves me. And that's my official opinion, which outranks yours."

"Says the man who gets whipped by a new coffee machine," John grumped. "Were you actually born in _this_ century, David? You know, when _real_ technology was invented to make things _easier_?"

"Hey, John?" Jim asked, breaking up the back-and-forth for a minute. "Can Bones and I call you ' _Gramps_ '?

" _No!"_ John looked at them from the screen with narrowed eyes. _"John_ is good enough for you two."

"What? C'mon! How's that fair?" Jim asked.

"You two get twenty or thirty more years on you, then _maybe_ you've got a chance at calling me that," John said with a grimace. "Wait, let me save you the long wait. You have _no_ chance. Ever."

David laughed. "You tell 'em, Gramps."

A soft chime alerted them to their time coming to an end.

"Shit! Look, Pa, I have to warn you about something," McCoy said quickly. _Where the hell does the time go?_ "You may hear some stuff in the news-vids in the future. I can't be sure, but I... It's Jacquelyn. I met up with her and, well, we didn't get along any better than we did before. She could try to make trouble for me by talking to the press. Don't believe any of it, unless you hear it from me."

John glanced at David. "Is that the same Jacquelyn that--"

"Yeah," David's face went dark when he turned to look at McCoy. "She makin' trouble for you again, Leonard? You didn't go lookin' her up now, did you?"

"It was a freak accident," Jim broke in. "She was part of a business deal Starfleet was looking into. We had no choice. No one has plans of ever meeting up again."

David relaxed. "That's good. I'll consider myself warned."

The one-minute chime went off.

"Look, Pa, all our love, right?" McCoy said. "Keep in touch, John. I want to see some medical charts in the future."

"Lots of puppy pictures," Jim reminded David. "I sent Peter a message, but tell him I finally got the drawings he sent. I'd love more!

"Will do, boys. Love you both!"

John weakly raised a hand. "Be safe, you two," he said with a smile.

The vid winked off and left the screen dark. McCoy missed them already.

"He made it," McCoy said softly, looking at Jim with astonishment. "Honestly, I really wasn't expecting that."

"Great news!" Jim said happily, walking back to the kitchen. "And he's such a McCoy! I can tell he and your dad are getting along fine."

"Oh? And what exactly, in that strange conversation, makes him a McCoy?" McCoy asked, following him.

"Smart-mouthed. Crabby. Short tempered--"

"And we all put up with _you_ and _your_ craziness," McCoy said, coming up behind Jim and wrapping his arms around him.

Jim turned in McCoy's arms. "And you all put up with me," he agreed with a grin.

They kissed and just as it started to get serious, Jim's stomach rumbled.

McCoy laughed and pulled away. "C'mon, lover boy. Let's get you fed, so you'll have the stamina for a long night of bed breaking. Maybe we'll have to get Scotty to come and fix this one as well."

Jim smiled. "Promise?"

"Promise to give it my best shot." McCoy leaned in and gave Jim a quick kiss.

Jim looked at him closely, studying him. His was voice low, his smile tender and sincere. "Welcome home, Love."

McCoy smiled back. "My _second_ home, Darlin'. My first is always with you."

Jim was right. It felt like they were finally back where they both belonged.

And oh, how he had missed it.

 

The End

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is heavily based on the Star Trek TOS episode "The Ultimate Computer". There are spots with very heavy dialog usage from the episode. While I try to shake things up a bit, sometimes the original dialog actually turned out to be the best dialog for the story. Especially for the science-y, computer stuff.


End file.
